WEEK 11: Pharaohs army (2-3) (signed out) vs brokenhal0 (1-5) OPEN FOR FEED
 

in

Take it from me i seen very few finish for free
cancer spread threw the digits like 3's
growing tensions and greed's
no simple disease sprouting lower density seeds
hope is the friend that you need
and i hope that you find comfort and peace

im on earth in a way it gets deep
the pain that it creeps cutting off the gauze
radiation till i see glowing floors benign cyst
and stage 4's no need to say more

waking up past 3 hoping the days lost
stale pizza on the table ashes on the paint floor
a bird with no wings singing in the cave moss

light it up so now you want to take it from me
what happened to the sky i heard space ain't so cheap
as time ticks the patient will be patiently sleep

patient like creep the wooden floors go creek
morphine drips now death is a doorway to reach
natural causes old ages shout out to all the non survivors
who dont make it your still the greatest



''Hope keeps me together
Threw whatever takes a toll
When a wisher stops wishing
Hope is only known.''


''Hope leads me to pleasure
Of a little story shown
Measure what it takes
To treasure what is told''

Think this was a sobering little piece Halo, I have trouble following your narratives at times but this one showed through a little clearer imo. A cancer patient slowly dying and just going through the treatment to no avail. We've seen a couple cancer pieces this season but I think this had a more realistic take and showed just the toll cancer puts on someone, and how hope slowly slips away from them day by day. Cool piece and LOVED this imagery piece

waking up past 3 hoping the days lost
stale pizza on the table ashes on the paint floor
a bird with no wings singing in the cave moss

A montage of intense imagery here that connected well with the topic and make think your record deserves to be higher. It's a shame the battles got misposted because I would've liked to have seen this go against someone tackling the same topic. You brought a poetic vibe and structure here:

'stale pizza on the table ashes on the paint floor
a bird with no wings singing in the cave moss'

Best lines IMO. Vivid. I'm looking forward to what you come up with next week.