Jokes
 

Jokes

Think of a man who’s the rarest of sub-waste.
Whose parents were un-graced.
Who’s herrings were blood stained.
Think of the most embarrassing, un-tamed, tainted and just lame.
Mix it with unnamed layers of some fake
And Jared from subway.
The character displayed is narrating the tape
(It’s Dope!)
A quirky internet cat.
Who firstly isn’t that wack.
But never wrote the higher level bars in succession.
Or so the others say when art is in question.
He tried to level stars with the pen then
dropped in contention.
And was left dangling like the larger parts in suspensions.
He started putting God in inspection.
Found a flaw in the methods used to pardon the message.

(But that’s off topic, like half the second halves of his ‘songs’ are.)

With an ever shifting style between shorter lines and long bar,
He never perfected his style, playing the crowd.
So it was always over simple when he was facing a bout.
Thought for a second he’d be a comedy writer,
But he couldn’t figure out the nuances and subtleties.
So while he had a few decent jokes, he never composed a piece.
Perhaps he thought his homonyms could make him iller quotes.
Perhaps he thought his pattern practice was enough to fill a set.
Or perhaps he and his writing is a simple jest.
Perhaps his whole existence is a joke.

(They got me trynna please a crowd, a famous comic every time I’m on the stage of public.)

Yooo..
This piece is being slept on dude, loved the take of everyone seeing you as the jokester and not being able to take you serious even though you showed out here with multies and some decent commentary. Kind of vibed like Lil Dicky's "The Antagonist." I liked this a lot bro, good job @DMS

I wasn’t so sure on the wording of ‘rarest of sub-waste’ but I did find the scheme to my liking. I enjoy seeing people toy with words in this way, it has an almost stream-of-consciousness feel to it. The development unfolds naturally, even if some of the wording doesn’t feel that way here, but I think you have a strong grasp on the mechanics behind what you’re doing and it’s now more a case of you building on that foundation you have and honing your skill set to elevate your writing even further. The second verse, in particular, read a lot more naturally and that gave it a fluidity reminiscent of Certain, very high calibre writing indeed. This is probably the best I’ve read by you.

Keep that pen moving!

A quirky internet cat.
Who firstly isn’t that wack.
But never wrote the higher level bars in succession.
Or so the others say when art is in question.
He tried to level stars with the pen then
dropped in contention.
And was left dangling like the larger parts in suspensions.
He started putting God in inspection.
Found a flaw in the methods used to pardon the message.

^^Nice man...

I know you don't care about what I think, but thought this was a solid joint.

Stay upwards.

Yeah, I liked this. Best I've seen from you.

I just read this back & chea...Uppin'.