scatterbrained much?
 

I'm jammed up at night, more often than not. I try to soften the spot by drinking Monsters a lot, drivin around with my friends but I'm self-conscious, distraught. Sinking on a spaceship without thinking who I came with but suddenly I blink and I'm the manic kid who caved in... to silly little antics, insidious and rancid, the smell of cigarettes are campin in a breeze between the branches. Naturally erroneous, a vat of inappropriate... jokes that soak in bubble baths with floods of soapy loneliness. A person way too old for this-- the coke, the spliffs, and ropes of spit from wolfing out the opiates. Feeling worried? No, not really. I've got Mcflurries, flipflop feelings, with a mind as sturdy as squashed ceilings. Abdominal pain's rugged, I'm onto insane rubbish worse than a vein ruptured from Mr. Cobain's strummin. A few have died, croaked, left me alive, stoked, and the only way I deal with it is suicide jokes.

good quality rhymes

This made me think of Hunter S Thompson. Dope rhymes and insight. A rehab professional could help point you in the right direction. Or maybe writing is your therapy? Either way, this was good. Peace.

haha thanks. i actually have 2 years clean, i was reading old journals from active use and i figured i'd jot some lines down and see where it took me

This is really good. That manic kid/camping in a breeze part was just great. You made it feel relatable throughout and kept it authentic while doing so. Wasn't really fond of one line with that squashed ceilings comparison but at least it was descriptive. Also, glad you're doing better.