FUCK YOUR FEELINS AN EXPECTATIONS IM REELIN IN DESECRATION
 

I murder unheard of nerds with no purpose for their words
Lack of service smack the servants this is enders game an your the thirds!
All the white an black victims let the gat an the knife lift em
The blat an blat hit em in the back THEN I spat! venom!
Morbid whorish actions, of course there's more ta fathom,
Breakin apart your factions till 4 horsemen are laughin at em.
You piece of shit bitches, I'll eat your wife an your kids
(vicious)
No remorse, this is war! I'm rippin pussies and no stitches!
Am I crazy? Maybe, whipping a lifted 'cedes
Fuckin worlds up, I'm the priest an your the babies.
I don't hit licks I split wigs 380 splittin Adams,
Fuck the gay shit you'll see shades of gray shit when I'm spittin/before I wack em!
In the back of the lac hidden,
Im sinnin n its a fact.
Im twistin up blunts, your strugglin ta cop a sack.
Hustlin ain't an issue you pansies need a tissue or gun
You can dry your eyes wit the same one I used ta dry my cum.
Im done fuckin flexin the best in the text section
Using gats ta splatter standards an BLLAATT! ta get attention!

http://www.netcees.co/showthread.php?t=9045
http://www.netcees.co/showthread.php?t=13628

Really nothin?

Who are you?

Somebody you should take notice of

This was corny. Drop something else.

Go read something else, I've got like 5 other drops in the 2 most recent om pages

YDK. watch the bumping and freeposting. Js.

My bad man no more posts from me, he tricked me into it -.-

Rather than using exclamation points to try to make your verse more significant, try actually making the words speak for themselves.

Your getting better at rhyming and upping the complexity of your flow....I see improvements in that area every time I read a drop of yours.

Your in a newborn stage of writing tbh. I have been there. Where rhyming different sounds and shit is the main focus....and I say keep playing with different rhymes and sounds....cuz only after you find how you want to be and sound can you form your own style and then let your content begin to shine.

Your content is definitely the weak link here. But hey elevation is elevation...if anyone hates on that....ignore it..

I remember I wrote something like this

I splatter the brain matter and batter em, straight splattering

^lol back when I was simply messing with words



I

I digged that flow;

All the white an black victims let the gat an the knife lift em
The blat an blat hit em in the back THEN I spat! venom!

Shit was sick and fluid; I wanna see more of this, I was listening to Hennessey by Tupac when I read it. Check the beat out, do an audio.

Not bad I guess, it was pretty amateur at parts

I murder unheard of nerds with no purpose for their words
Lack of service smack the servants this is enders game an your the thirds!

Not bad, the second is stretched a little. The internal isn't that bad

All the white an black victims let the gat an the knife lift em
The blat an blat hit em in the back THEN I spat! venom!

Ehhhhh, not feeling it man. Technically it's weak and the concept isn't being handled with originality. If that's an attempt at a multie then it's a bit of a reach

Morbid whorish actions, of course there's more ta fathom,
Breakin apart your factions till 4 horsemen are laughin at em.
You piece of shit bitches, I'll eat your wife an your kids
(vicious)
No remorse, this is war! I'm rippin pussies and no stitches!

Unimaginative, technically I guess it's not bad.

Am I crazy? Maybe, whipping a lifted 'cedes
Fuckin worlds up, I'm the priest an your the babies.

Cmon son, I'm just going to point out wack bars like this. It's the only way you're going to get better

I don't hit licks I split wigs 380 splittin Adams,
Fuck the gay shit you'll see shades of gray shit when I'm spittin/before I wack em!

This line is just a little gay

In the back of the lac hidden,
Im sinnin n its a fact.
Im twistin up blunts, your strugglin ta cop a sack.

Not too bad, although it's a single syllable rhyme

Hustlin ain't an issue you pansies need a tissue or gun
You can dry your eyes wit the same one I used ta dry my cum.
Im done fuckin flexin the best in the text section
Using gats ta splatter standards an BLLAATT! ta get attention!


Not a bad finisher, the first two bars are pretty uninspired though


Very amateurish but with practice you could do well