amplify
 

O

Greenskeeper, settling calmly. cross-legged nestled in thought
black linen sorcerer manipulating metal in frost-
bitten temperatures, exhausted by the regular stories
Elmwood blanketed moss, wasp-ridden stretching and yawning
foggy morning. insect humming click surrender your army
choose your weapon carefully and let it absolve
whatever treasure we found beneath our burial grounds
load 6 rounds cause half the fight is spinning barrels around
roll my lady a smoke. broke my barriers down
soft cement and bedrock and a theory of how
it came to be.. this. whatever label we stick
to CTA windows to create a distinction
emergency the exit sign we faded to mist
loved to hear ourselves rebel and hated to listen
sacred scriptures. ashes to ashes, paper we printed
Aramaic attitudes and Latin declensions
Laramie / Divison i was waiting to witness
a miracle in denim jacket passing me by
pass me an interest. grant me a minute
tell me a lie. how quickly was your passion resigned
amplify, appetizers made of capital interest
cancer like a game of tag, who catches it quickest
cease and desist. breathe - in rhythm - slowly, sink into bliss
then
maybe you could tell me what i missed.





EDIT: thanks

I recall you using 'cease and desist' in another piece not too long ago.
Not a big deal I suppose.

This piece is probably good, but over my head. Not really getting the meanings. But I did google Aramaic attitudes and Latin declensions.

black linen sorcerer manipulating metal in frost-
bitten temperatures

insect humming click surrender your army

to CTA windows

Laramie / Divison

amplify, appetizers made of capital interest

appetizers made of capital interest? what? finances?

The rhyming is pretty good, per usual, especially in the 2nd half.

EDIT I'm sorry I'm not a better reader for you dead man.
I am smart though; so maybe you just write weird stuff.

Like, I say to myself, what could this black linen sorcerer manipulating metal in frost-
bitten temperatures possibly mean.
I don't know, a blacksmith out in the cold? wearing black linen?

pharaohs so fucking stoopid

Ehh this was aiight... best line was the line Pan quoted. I dig the style of writing just thought the lines could've been executed better to get the point across.. By all means keep it abstract, just make em hit.. shit ain't smack me in the face. I peeped some promising work from you before. This a throw away compared to that.

This was a riveting piece of poetry. The rhythm and scheme was nicely intact. The imagery was set into place. The metaphors were there as-well. Nothing seemed too out of place. I enjoyed this quite a bit. Good vocabulary and language. Nice, keep writing.

Remember our topical battle. It will be quite good.

@Dragon i accepted the night of via PM. set it whenever you want

thank you

choose your weapon carefully and let it absolve
whatever treasure we found beneath our burial grounds
load 6 rounds cause half the fight is spinning barrels around
roll my lady a smoke. broke my barriers down
soft cement and bedrock and a theory of how
it came to be.. this. whatever label we stick
to CTA windows to create a distinction
emergency the exit sign we faded to mist
loved to hear ourselves rebel and hated to listen
sacred scriptures. ashes to ashes, paper we printed
Aramaic attitudes and Latin declensions

too solid. fucked with the closer, also.

loved to hear ourselves rebel and hated to listen


Sounds like adolescence. solid as always. This did seem less solid than usual. Are you changing?

^Is this an "O" like 360° of knowledge or a zero like infinity or just an "Oh" as in acknowledgement, understanding or suprise or introduction? I sense some sort of lyrical alchemy is taking place here. :/

Although, I can see the words - imagery, what have you - I'm not sure how they relate to one another. Unless these two opposing figures (the gardener and Gargamel) are suppose to represent polarity or duality. Like Ying and Yang or Cain and Able. Idk.... yet. Maybe it's the alchemy and manipulation of the elements that bind them together. One of the Earth and the other of the Ether. But how that would play into a larger and more layered metaphor is beyond me at this point. Interesting, nonetheless.

Stunning imagery, per usual. Although, in this instance it's more scattered and surreal than something visually attainable in reality. At least parts of it is.

OAN

Your stream of consciousness and transitional wordplay is pretty cool here.

You're lines have individual merit as a collective however, I struggle to connect the dots.

Dope.

Incredibly dope.

To give some semblance of a point.

All in all, not my favorite piece from you. I often have to grasp at straws when deciphering a lot of your work, but this joint completely lost me. You're like the Banksy of open mic writing tho. Even when I have no clue what you're talking about I still enjoy the art within your illustrations.

Peace.

thankful for you @activate. thanks.

@Dragon

what up

You really do have a amazin' way of describin' things thru a rhyme man...I'll be back to drop some feed later yeah.