Jason Vorhees (short rant inside)
 

Yo...you ever think about what Jason Voorhees ever did for sustenance? It's my belief that there is no nutritional value in brutal murder.

Seriously...the dude clearly didn't have a job, a phone, or a car. So it's not like he's going grocery shopping, ordering pizza, or going through a drive thru. His weapon of choice (besides slamming people into trees) was a machete...which is a completely ineffective tool for hunting anything in the wild. It's never been implied that he was a cannibal, nor that he is a vegetarian or vegan. He's broke, so he's not going to GNC to get multivitamins or anything.

He doesn't look like he takes vitamins anyway. So how does he feed himself and keep himself strong enough to punch people's heads off?!

Was playing the XBOXone game with my son last night on XBOXLive. Good times listening to pre-teens say the word nigger while their little voices cracked. I was fucking them up. My choice of weapon when playing as Jason is the AX or Spear.

OH, and it's a movie, bro. Get a grip. Or become famous for starting Jason Vorhees diet meal plan trend.

He ate the food the camp crystal lake campers left in the cabins

Phil. lol I did the smokers lung laugh and cough. ‘Besides slamming people into trees.’

I’ve shaken it off now and need to tell you... Jason is dead. It’s unlikely he requires food. I mean, a majority of his life he’s somehow confined to being undead at the bottom of Crystal Lake.

The guy can crush a skull with his bare hands it seems. I don’t ever see him working out, but I assume he does. He looks like a lumberjack but 99% of his time he’s sedentary. He’s be so malnourished and scrawny. But nah. He’s built like a retard obsessed with shake weights. Fish probably live in his stomach.

Dead

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9Ewb3MojAs

Video of Jason punching someone's head off.

VORHEES A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW

Wypipo

Jason got that @2tripple0 strength

JASON VORHEES?
I'LL FUCK YOUR FACE AND POUR BLEACH
ALL OVER YOUR FAVORITE SHORT SLEEVE, BASIC SPORT TEE
I CANT RELATE TO YOUR SCHEMES.
ALL I DO NOW IS FUCK 8'S THATS 40.
AFTER DIVISION
THEYRE 5'S BUT THAT SYSTEM AIN'T MY SCORING
STRETCHED THAT
BUT FUCK IT YALL LOSERS GAY AND BORE ME
I'LL EAT A CAKE AND SNORT KIEF
BEFORE SHOOTING AT YOUR PLACE OF MOURNING
BE AT YOUR PLACE NEXT MORNING TO GRAB A PLATE OF YOUR CHEESE
IM HUNGRY
FUCK YOU AND YOUR FAVORITE SPORT TEAM.
ITS GETTING REDUNDANT.

I liked that

GETTING REDUNDANT?
I'LL SHIT ON YOUR COUSIN
HIT A SPLIFF AND I'M BUZZIN'
I SPIT IN ABUNDANCE
KING KONG WITH THE CHEST THUMP
KILL Y'ALL, IM THE BEST, CHUMP
I LOAD UP THEN DON'T EVEN SHOOT
GET YOUR THROAT CUT
YOUR BITCH AIN'T EVEN CUTE...SHE AN OLD SLUT
KILLA CAM WITH THE FLOW
YOU AIN'T BUST GUNS, DO YOU? NAW SON
GOT A HANDFUL OF HOES...
I FUCK ONE THEN THEY ALL CUM.