Verse Work in Progress
 

Yo after you give feedback drop a link to your prewitten piece if you have one and I will return the favor. This isn't too old but I have a rough recording of it. Thanks in advance

Since my first day of birth I been scattered brain/ it ain't because of Satan that I act insane/ grab the mask and blades and wrap the chains around your frame/ in the attic where my axes stay/ where I practice with hatchets and acetane/ snatching up rappers that are acting vain/I put em in the back where their casket waits/ cuz when I brain storm, I make acid rain/ til, half your face evaporates to, outer space/I'm a basket case bastard that's lacking faith/but thru the acts of change I've adapt to pain/so every body better back away/computer hacker about to crash the game/before I even Activate the Signal/ to Blast your Face With Missiles/I'll Snatch Your Fate so fast NASA couldn't Calculate the Issue/or the Math it Takes to Track and Trace my Pencil/ Cuz when I Draft a Page the Fact just May Offend you...//

This was cool, if a little generic, sort of bland, but definitely not bad at all.

Bit too short, felt last quarter you left that generic dark rap style an moved into a bit of a swag an flow theme, it sort of seemed to pick up in pace an then just ended which was a shame. HOWEVER I appreciate its a work in progress. Some ok stuff in there felt you could be darker an more creative in those earlier lines. Have a look at this peice i did ages ago which when i started reading yours i instantly felt a resembelance.
http://www.netcees.org/showthread.ph...=Broken+minded

Cool. Picked up and was goin somewhere for a second. Then it was over.

Was supposed to be just a free verse for some random shit but it should only be 16 bars since I wrote it to record on a beat, but I actually went over that

@Elemental P

Join the writing bro.

What's that that topical tourny thing?

Yes. Join. New week starts tonight.

Trash.

So this began as most flex joints do -- luke warm and trying to find it's footing. It went on for a bit. Nothing impressive. Then somewhere around "brainstorm" and "acid rain" it began to heat up. Got a little flat shortly after, and then towards the end, the heat was turned all the way up and you caught your groove. However, I wish you would have kept the momentum going, because I was really starting to enjoy your flow and cadence, and your lyrics where getting sharper and alot more impressive. In any case, I think you have some skills, E. Drop another verse and I'll feed. Peace.

Good looks yo.

lol ^ this was light sauce from El but still better than majority here

Guys angry cuz I didn't vote for him... "Hey uh bro ... Man..did u like understand that.." STFU ol vote swaying looking ass faggot