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Steps
The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step
That's how the Israelites coursed through the wilderness And got to the Promised Land that flows with milk and honey Take a step and advance in your field of study I elevated because I stepped my game up With the wrong steps you might end up in a maze stuck Confused at the cross road, indecisive Before you take some steps you need tips and guidance... Step out of your chrysalis, awake from your slumber With every step you take, new ways are discovered A step could bridge the gap between the apex and under Follow the due steps, avoid mistakes and blunders Cos missteps could get you trapped like a con immured So take steps of perfection beyond the flaws Faint hearts never betroth fair maids Take the first step without seeing the whole staircase And walk by faith, putting your trust in the Father Climb up, step on the next rung and go farther Life is a process, as you age your mind grows It took God seven steps to arrange the cosmos On the road to prosperity, I step on the gas Hoping my vehicle of success never dents in a crash Step by step that's how you put an end to a task With one sip at a time you can empty the cask... And I never half step when I step in a cypher I'm a step ahead like the sixth sense of Elijah Heaven awaits the soles stepping on the right path So if you're lost, retrace your steps with a precise map My brain's a choreographer coordinating my steps As I dance in the reign like a breaker that's drenched I take steps to leave my footprints on the sands of time Before I step to the other side where the phantoms glide... |
upping for feeds anyone?
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good multis
and good flow through the majority, i thought. There is a middle section that I'm not too excited about. Cos missteps could get you trapped like a con immured So take steps of perfection beyond the flaws Faint hearts never betroth fair maids Before this section, And after this section, you seem to have a planned out rhyme scheme&meter.. But here I just don't see any rhymes on these 3 lines. Which isn't always a big deal, but I think it is here.. because of the format of what's before & after. *Maybe perfection beyond the flaws/ never betroth? But if that's the case it doesn't jive with the flow on the rest. And if you tell me you can rhyme con immured with beyond the flaws I will quit netcees. In fairness I love the next line's rhyme Take the first step without seeing the whole staircase so it kind of rescues it a bit. Although the theme and the title are about steps, I think you may have used the word 'steps' one too many times. I think you did a good job here for the most part (particularly some of your phrasing and endrhymes).. but those above critiques r also what i see. |
lol man @pharoah thanks man. about the con immured and beyond the flaws line that rhymes in my accent man, anyways I appreciate the feed bro
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Yw
lol Oh you can rhyme that Accent or not, I'm shocked Goodbye everyone. It's been fun. |
I got bored a few lines in..
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after the constant use of steps it felt too preachy
otherwise some lines were pretty smooth, steady work. I just lold & pharaohs comment...Ill come back later |
@step
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