vs Pinot Grij
 

bars i had for pinot grij/pulse - appreciate feed, critique. D


orcs mags made me come back..

And I should spotlight w/ Cthulu next week cause lately, fuck rap..
Des, Nik, now Pinot twice!? I've written horror on more old ones than H.P Lovecraft
& Kung survived a coke addiction. U weren't around to help ease
His heart stopped & came back to life only to find the pulse he knew was a deadbeat
Far as this battle shit goes; my punches heavy & flow is on fleek
You're not champ material. Ur activewear faggots rock turtlenecks in poetry leagues
& we hit ya main on the side. That bitch been all over my team.
Her box been smashed...broken & played w/ more than Ace Ventura's opening scene
Im'a Hellraiser in'a fight.. punches torture scene before endin lives
Let the demon out 've me & these hooks'll leave ur face hanging like the cenobytes
back in school bullies had u tasting bowl water - in stalls, no locker
You & toilets were an upside down dunk performance worthy of a harlem globetrotter
U should put the pen ta rest. All wins u've earned been in jest.
I'll put Pinterest: then theme 'murder scene' on my board w/ images of ur grizly death
Devil in the flesh.. u need to keep a bible & cross as handy weapons
Ur verses only get replay value cause how u write is backwards like a satanic message
His dick on some micro-phallic shit. Girls gawk & laugh at him.
P's miniature in size... but not deemed a choking hazard cuz it's swallowed on accident
Nik & Lars said u were a legend, nahhh u know those r loyal lies
Fuck a data recover....you weren't memorable to ever get backup at any point in time

G'head then. But I really don't think this is your arena.

Had a battle verse for feed. Might as well get it out the way, see how fast the NBL goes.

Uppin

I thought the wins been in jest line was my favorite...as far as the rest goes some didnt seem punch worthy
I feel that a majority of this came off more braggadocio than actually effecting your opponents ego...
of course there are other ways to toy with such a persons mind that I have found hilarious..

either way I feel like the satanic message could have been worked in better
you may have focused too much on that aspect with the Hellraiser line as well
you dont want to spend too much time on the same theme in a battle I believe
the girls gawk & laugh at him line felt kind of weird to me as well but I see what you trying to do
that closer was alright too, I recommend you focus more on lines like the pinterest section
cut back on the devil references & so on, work some nameplays in there & you may have something
attack the credibility & the outbursts of rage and you may have something...