First Language
 

I wasn't bred callous, peers just happened to be less heinous
imposed to stressed peasants I just happened to have habits of bad malice
moving past manics; I amassed a concoction of pernicious mass merits
acetic saliva when I spit, my self-transcendence is planned vengeance.
started out with maiden scripts on faded ink and a penchant for exposure
succubus paying dues, sweet chariots won't carry me for my petulant persona.
pick a-part or pick my cherry, I ripped it out self handedly cos it lacked density
poured it in a cup and fed it to a stray dog - guess hard work paid off!
now the concept's bitch made.

Lol at this wack shit. Go fuck urself.

I'm flattered.

bags doing bags stuff.

Pardon my ignorance, but do they even speak English in the UK?

A good effort. I felt that the wordplay often seemed forced and at times, nonsensical. The rhyme scheme could be improved with some variation.


Keep doing.

Cimm.

I wanted to like this, but this just doesn't translate well for me. I see punchline potential and innuendo, but these aspects were not showcased properly imo. The flow was poem-ish and very clunky, assuming it was intended to rhyme. Just keep it up and I think you could really put work together that will be noteworthy.

i didn't think this was good.