new to the board.. any feed would be appreciated
 

I'm in G mode b your techs harmless as a emoji
porn sites is the only time u reload squeeze
rappin bout ya c-note schemes
Mario with Ya 1zUp in strip clubs. Thats how your team throw green?
they e-harmony, where the singles be
we poppin e harmonies amongst other things
The street pharmacy.. got whatcha need
all I need is one call get you plugged on me
Midwestern, boots n sum scuffed up jeans
varmints at large with fo' longs get smoked Marlboro
Cowboy killers, revolver hold one. You feeling vulnerable
or lucky? Spin the cylinder like carnivals
get carpal tunnel from the shock of scattered
bullets, my dogs is havok, pull the MM as if the marshal matters
carnivorous in cars with misfits
with ill wills ill wheels lift cars sum inches. The deal?

Take a 2nd look. With 2 broads call that a double date
Villain with 2 faces I came on - double take
When I see on Facebook bitches making the duck face
I know their spit game is fucking great
dang I'm fuckin vain, syringes can't equal to the god
still got dope tracks without the needle in the arm
won't hold back. The spine of my notepad is strong
this dumb era don't know bout a road map at all
distinct the rest I'm a, gee-nee-us
yo they wanna extinct what's left of the tedious
bar writer, Barb wire my studio compound
trespass get chewed by the ruthless of doghounds
c-ops special ops forces can't infiltrate,
infa red then your head is on my dinner plate
serial killer guns stashed in boxes
tom cruise, on a mission, hide as other rappers in costume

First half is wack, second ain't much better.

Make Lil' Wayne seem dope...should be banned for that.

@Exis Thanks for peepin.. Gotta be a dickhead with sly dissin me but thanks. Damn real talk wack is a strong word. I can understand decent but to say I'm wack is crazy. I came to a level of that not being possible. But yea I see my first introduction of this site is that haters lurk near.. Be blessed homie

I ain't a hater...want me to break shit down constructively? I'll be happy too, Ima blaze then get backwards @ it.

The whole first stanza was ehh...your grammar is horrible.Flow goes from sorta there to sloppy, whatever multies you have attempted seem forced...word usage is odd, the openin' line almost made me close the thread & not comment @ all tbh...positives? Conceptionally your experimentin' with shit...they may not come off, or miss the mark completely but there's definitely potential there.. alot of room to expand things, whether it's thru better use of words or what not...I see it.

Join the leagues here man, great writers competin' against you will only strengthen what's already in your arsenal...& add more strings to that bow of yours, which @ the moment isn't shootin' directly @ the reader to resonate much.

Stay upwards.

@Exis I see you.. It's a matter of taste and I noticed most people around here likes ridiculous usage of rhyme schemes. Well with the beat I wrote this on it wouldn't be in the pocket. I'm all about being in the pocket. I actually spit and as far as the flow, it's so in pocket D-bo couldn't jack it to be honest. First two bars can be changed I admit.

LOL

I liked the 1up idea, that was pretty fresh.

longs get smoked, marlboro was nice too. i enjoyed that.

MM line was cool

pretty good concepts and flow, just needs tightening up slightly

Flow is fire in that second around this section:

dang I'm fuckin vain, syringes can't equal to the god
still got dope tracks without the needle in the arm
won't hold back. The spine of my notepad is strong
this dumb era don't know bout a road map at all

rest was straight

i respect it

keep that pen moving!

post some music

Good lookin sral!

For the lil wayne fans.. Over his Glory beat.

https://m.soundcloud.com/c_optz/glorious

I'm just tryin to try this shit out and build..ya'll got summa the nicest lyricists i seen in text form..Ain't no dickhead. Lets keep this shit movin'!

@sraL You was expecting some wack shit huh? Lmaoooo!!

Exis is fucking horrible so don't pay attention to him

Legit enjoyed this more than anything he ever wrote

Thanks!

Lmfaooo

Still on my dick you little bitch...let it go.

this was nice man, enjoyed it

Quaker oats? that name sounds familiar, anyways nice post bro you should check around and read other users open mics as well.

most new ppl here suck

don't take offence

a lot of the guys here been doing this a long time
you've potential

Quaker oats is @quaker oats or @oatmeal here

he posted at a couple diff boards

this was pretty sick actually. respect.