hello everyone.
 

So....I'm like ayo but. Hey. Look.

So this stupid bitch. She's got all these toys an shit cuz she's in a never ending unhappy relationship sp she thinks she's like the sex master because she has all these retarded gadgets to try and make sex tolerable for her boring tired sex life. So I'm like....yea idgaf about none of that just come over an get fucked like the whore u are....an don't talk too much. She's like oh but hey how bout I bring over a surprise for us!?!? I'm like....why don't u surprise me an not be such an annoying fucking slut for one day of ever. She's like ok I'll bring it! Great. So she comes over. It's this butt stabbed ring thing? Idk it's like a fishing lure shaped like an ice cream c9ne. So I'm fuckin her doggy style an I squeeze half this bottle of lube into her butt an smeared it around....I took the cap off the bottle....didn't know there was a top an a squeeze hole....regardless....my hands r slippery as fuck....I took multi tasking like shit right now. Screaming childish things at her while trying to keep steady w my stroke then ram this ring puncher I to her bhole. So at some point i decide I should take the ring part off my finger so I could stick this shit in deeper....for a while it's going fine....then...SCHLURKP....her stinky whore butt whole sucked the shit right out of my lube soaked fingers and just swallowed it up like a brown alien. I stop stroking an I'm like....oh my fuck....Wat do I do now? She's like why u stop? R u Nutting in me right now? I'm like bitch lol never. Stfu. So I just keep fuckin her an then finish an fall out on the bed....then she's like....where's the butt thingy? An it all comes rushing back to me an I bust out laughing...hard. she starts laughin too...cuz she thinks that we r friends....then I'm like...oh....it's in ur butt. She laughs again an is like...no really....N I'm like...yea...uh.....it's swallowed it right out my hand....it's forgot to tell u. LMAO. She gets pissed off...itstm like u brought that dumb shit here.....itstm should have an anchor attached to it so this don't haplen....she like IT'S GOT A RING....itstm like fuck u just go shit it out. Then get out of my place.

Discuss?

no way u kept fucking her after the shit got sucked inside. savage

id be like go fish that thingn out immediately before it fucks your insides up

Well I mean I stopped....an started to think over the consequences....then she was like..R U FACKING CUMMING IN ME#?!? an pissed me off so...I had to get back in there. I had a few drinks too. I realize this is no excuse....but I am just a man.

I'da been atleast nice enough to retrieve it for her.

Lol tho.

Dude.....retrieve it how tho.....I mean I stuck my finger in to see if I could grab the ring part....negatory

Gravity will sort it out

should have fished it out with your tongue like a man tbc

My finger l9ng er then my tongue

I have no qualms w eatin dem booty holes tho

is this ole pisslegs?

Your comment has been removed by the administrator.

Shoulda stuck a magnet in her ass n let science do the rest broh

Shoulda never took it off the ring...

Brighter minds than yours designed it that way for a reason


Fgt


my finger so I could stick this shit in deeper....for a while it's going fine....then...SCHLURKP....her stinky whore butt whole sucked the shit right out of my lube soaked fingers and just swallowed it up like a brown alien. I stop stroking an I'm like....oh my fuck....Wat do I do now?

^^^ that part slayed me tho

Yo, at first I almost said TLDR but then I'm like "this is Bagsworth, it'll be worth it" and it was totally fucking worth it.

No questions, just love.

Haha nahhhh she stopped hittin me up after I told every1 she worked w that I peed on her

Some people smh

that part is the funniest.

When I was working radiology we used to get scans like this all the time during the late night...

Sht be hilarous....u see a Xray with anal beads dislodged into the side of the colon and need to be surgically extracted....

Anal beads was the most normal instrument, I've seen a great multitude of objects...

Fun times.

Holy huge hands its rawn!

Oh now rawn is a doctor

You never stop surprising me

It is well documented that I worked radiology...

and peep 'MD'

reasoning given.

Stfu dick breath