Week 17: Vulgar vs. Innovator - (Vulgar)
 

LGPA Season 1: Week 17

Check ins: Thursday (Midnight Eastern time)
Poems Due: Friday (Midnight Eastern time)
Votes due: Sunday (Midnight Eastern time)


Topic:

GHAZAL


Best of luck to both competitors. Bring your best poetry forth unto us, the readers.

Here

In

Ghazal: A Tourist's Straits


Dream vacations can be a laxative, although
-morn after, dimmed senses may be followed by an ellipsis

Traveling across oceans with the right woman can be
gratifying, too bad she's out for homicide, followed by an ellipsis

Mrs. Hyperbole was walking home from the grocery store
suddenly stalked by a gang of Adjectives, followed by an Ellipsis

Adventure is a sweet tooth to a chimera, both cunning
and crimson, high fever on hand, followed by an ellipsis

Once slept facing a hostel wall, amidst spies in the robes
Naturally, I was short on words, breath, followed by an ellipsis

London Customs flagged me for suspicious dialogue
The passport customs form said "Denied!" followed by an ellipsis

I do recommend seafare - lifeboats with strange monikers
embarked on a ghost ship? hope it's followed by The Ellipsis

Call me daisy call me flower
Keep it soft, sweetvand sour
Bleeding black i ink my tshirt
Call me rooted calm and branched

Dandy lion roars keep me up at night
Poppy seeds pumping heart alouf and bright
Oak filled lungs, cider heart pumping %10
Call me rooted keeped me branched

Bleeding tonge spewing wine on labor days
Bloated spine floating swine along the pigs
Breeding sin and keeping sins
Call me fooled or call me angst
These rooted branches

Innovator drank too much root beer and basically ditched the whole idea. Whole idea was to write a GHAZAL. Vulgar put up a sample sheet with examples and everything. Don't feel like you should be a moderator but rather just a participant. As for the Poem, again, just too much root beer.

Vulgar, it's a shame this battle cannot be broken down accordingly due to the automatic default victory by default. I thought how you Used Ellipses was creative, referring to it as a sunset, a punctuation mark, than focusing on the lip in ellipses. Was an original piece.

MVGT Vulgar

The theme this week was a Ghazal format, thus one writer wrote in the format, another didn't, thus he gets the vote.

Vulgar piece was creative, and had its highlights, some lines read very stanch, an obstruction that arose due to being wounded in the sense of rhythm and the turn of phrase was sometimes too sudden without any prize after the shift. In other words, the altercations shifted sometimes too violently, some lines were pretty in the poetic sense, I just felt some lines read unnatural. Ghazal are in a way odes, hymns, so there's a sing-song rhythm to them from my understanding.

Vote: Vulgar