New Perspectives
 

"Tell me why you killed those innocent women...what drove you?"

The race and the flight, the taste of saliva and the domination
The chase in the night, raising a knife in the altercation
The loss of patience, her face and her eyes, and the concentration
It takes to put off evasion, knowing only pain will suffice
Taking a nice girl and raping her twice as I bathe in the sight
of her paying the price, no escape, locked up safe in a vice
Strip her naked and bite, tearing her flesh, making a slice
Smelling her fragrance, it's nice, then slit her throat with a grin
Then scuttle away like a rodent, totally devoted to sin.

"And what of the woman's family? Do you consider them?"

Consider who? Those who were too weak to protect?
Where is loves healing power when the demons infect?
They weren't there when she pleaded to be freed from her debt
When she was bleeding and wet, covered in beads of her sweat
Where were her family when she needed them? Missing in action
You blame me for their dismissing inaction?
All I felt was the kiss, the attraction, the bliss, the reaction
Her body shaking in fear, completely resisting the passion
Am I her carer? I am but Adam in her eyes, a ghost in the night
So again I ask...what good was family when she was frozen in fright?

"Would you consider changing your ways?"

You sit on your seat, confused by thoughts of right and wrong
There's only day and night, I just stay and fight when the light is gone
You are weak, I am strong, yet it's me who knows that I'm a pawn
You think you're independent, but you only see in the light of dawn
I am Satan's puppet, women are sin, I have to give them to him
So I'll kill at his whim, until every cell in hell is filled to the brim
You people are too protective of these cancerous whores
You want a new perspective? Can a kid just cancel his chores?
I'll lock 'em in chains, I want to see them tortured 'til breath has fled
You want me to change? Fine...I'll just choke 'em to death instead

*coughs*
@CopyPat you owe me 2 lines of feed lol <3

on it bish.

where the fuck is Hollandaise?!?!?! Deleted! the fuck!

Wtf? I haven't been on in a while but who the fuck deleted it???

@Certain @big baby @Dancake @Split eight @Zen @Fig

Fox my NI**A!

haha. You're very good. this subject matter wasn't my favorite but i think u said this was for a topical or something? Your writing and imagery is very impressive. you carried a complex scheme throughout and made that shit butter smooth. this verse had some length but I did not labor through it because it was written with a real sense of flow, that's tough to do well and u nailed it. only a couple parts i didn't like. rhyming in action with inaction. hahahaha that's david pixley bad. wtf were u thinking? also cancerous whores and cancel his chores seemed like a last minute cheap rhyme to me too. like forced and filler, but besides those 2 this was really really good. did u win said battle with this?

Certain probly fagged it up

Thank you and yeah lol I knew people would have a problem with missing in action/dismissing inaction, I did it anyway tho cuz I like the fact that one extra syllable in front of missing and erasing the space between in and action gave it a completely different meaning than the first line...I like when words do things like that, so it was more me pondering the nature of language and experimenting than anything else....the cancerous whore/cancel chores in retrospect wasn't great. Thank you for the feed bro.

^

This was dope, as usual Witty. The wording was really smooth and you took a concept and made it work in a mid amount of lines. I'd liked to see this stretched out into a more in depth piece but you still managed to do it justice with what you've got here. Smooth read, stick around. <--- the feedback I gave you for this piece on RR. Now hit up one of my pieces! :(

It might be because I haven't read a piece like this from you in awhile
but that transition into the second question made me lol

Strip her naked and bite, tearing her flesh, making a slice
Smelling her fragrance, it's nice, then slit her throat with a grin
Then scuttle away like a rodent, totally devoted to sin.

"And what of the woman's family? Do you consider them?"

Consider who? Those who were too weak to protect?
Where is loves healing power when the demons infect?
^^^^
I thought that was weird I didnt really like that but...it was funny
I enjoyed everything about this your word usage makes your pieces a fun journey
its a disappointment you never show in the AOWL cause Id like to piss on you
but this was cool buddy, thank for the read :)

Thanks bro :)

just got you here:

http://www.rap-royalty.com/forum/tex...spectives.html

Yo this is some really good shit man...your schemes & flow be sick.Content is tight, I like when well written material just rolls off the tongue all effortless like that backed by complex schemes...dope piece.

The race and the flight, the taste of saliva and the domination
The chase in the night, raising a knife in the altercation
The loss of patience, her face and her eyes, and the concentration
It takes to put off evasion, knowing only pain will suffice
Taking a nice girl and raping her twice as I bathe in the sight
of her paying the price, no escape, locked up safe in a vice
Strip her naked and bite, tearing her flesh, making a slice
Smelling her fragrance, it's nice, then slit her throat with a grin
Then scuttle away like a rodent, totally devoted to sin.

^^Fire.

Well it all is really lol...thought that was raw tho.

Stay upwards Irish.

Why thank you.

Aye too was not much peaking to this piece....didn't like the horror core ear simple shit with a tweak of suspense thriller... Lol wasn't feeling much...thought u could have done more in the knowledge department... Just felt like writing was too gruesome could have been smarter but you were okay but then feed got picked up.... So like mr. J I thought it could have been better.... As for dearg I'll get to feeding your piece in the OM as well

:)

Overall this is top notch, I will say the first part read much smoothly than the other two but the concept is so interesting, being in the perspective of a rapist/ murderer. Superbly descriptive in the first part as it was describing the brutality and the next two was basically a convo, it was coherent, rhyming and flow was largely on point, all in all, it was executed brilliantly.

Its inspired me to write..... maybe a random collab with the boss! @sraL

send me some ideas/concepts/rhymes

nIIIIIce my mans.. I'm not into that horrorcore, serial killer shit but this was good enough to hold my attention. This would make for a good song i feel if it was extended longer. flow was dope with the rhyme schemes.. bars seemed a bit stretched but i think the way you'd spit it u could pull it off. sum slow shit would be right..Dope concept...Almost like the dectetives is picking this crazy fucks brain apart tryna find out why he killt those cunts..wordd! good shit Witty, keep it gritty.

Thanks doods.