Netcees

Netcees (http://netcees.org/index.php)
-   Open Mic Section (http://netcees.org/forumdisplay.php?f=6)
-   -   Suffocated (http://netcees.org/showthread.php?t=121174)

Exis 09-26-2015 07:30 PM

Suffocated
 
Ayo,

I'm here to stretch you to your limits
where you'll either snap or bounce back into some excellent position
everythin' I text to you is brilliance
your continually speakin' in tongues
Exis is him you bitches,
straight up makin' no sense to me before shit is ripped from your skull
I'll make you bleed from the gums
like strict parents with soap fed to some mischievous fuck
Ima mysterious one
the monster under your bed...
I'll fuckin' spring from beyond it and leave you bludgeoned to death
skeletal structures get crushed whenever I'm touchin' the pen
you grade fuckers off desktops
and then they son you in threads
I'm the type to place mothers in headlocks
who've left their youngins unfed
you'll end up stuffed in a
dead bolted
cement cold
hell hole
box while
I think outside of the square
It's like you is hidin' in there
so I'll count to ten, not
as I've heard that silence can scare kids
a lot bloody more than a scream could if you wasn't fightin' for air bitch.

Exis 10-09-2015 04:23 AM

Anyone? Lol.

Mr. J 10-12-2015 02:11 AM

I'll fuckin' spring from beyond it and leave you bludgeoned to death
skeletal structures get crushed whenever I'm touchin' the pen

^^^^
I didnt like how you set this up, I get the idea you went for...
but nah, it just felt weird and made me feel like a dirty whore for liking this
but you had some enjoyable concepts that made me crack a smile
the ending section with the cement cold buildup was pretty cool
enjoyable piece, keep writing...

Exis 10-14-2015 02:35 AM

Lol @ feelin' like a dirty whore.

sral 10-14-2015 09:39 AM

I'll make you bleed from the gums
like strict parents with soap fed to some mischievous fuck
Ima mysterious one
the monster under your bed...
I'll fuckin' spring from beyond it and leave you bludgeoned to death
skeletal structures get crushed whenever I'm touchin' the pen
you grade fuckers off desktops
and then they son you in threads
I'm the type to place mothers in headlocks
who've left their youngins unfed


that mid section was nicer than pam andersons back in the day

liked the switch up around "dead bolted" etc

dope shit all round

keep that pen moving!


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:32 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2025 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.