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Championship Match: Godcomplex (3-2) vs. Razah (4-1)-- GODCOMPLEX WINS, 4-0
AOWL Season V, Week 6
SUMMARY OF RULES: Verses are due Monday at 11:59 p.m. Western / or Tuesday 2:59 Am Eastern / 7:59AM UK There are NO extensions. Verses MUST be a minimum 10 lines or a maximum of 48 lines (or 650 words). Votes are due Thursday at 11:59 p.m. Western / or Friday 2:59 Am Eastern / 7:59AM UK. Failure to vote will result in automatic sign out for the next week. All competitors must vote on THREE battles and post links/ references in the voting thread. Read the full rules here! TOPIC: STORY PROMPT WEEK: "You are the host of a popular children's show. You are live on air when you, and the rest of the country, have just received news that nuclear weapons have been deployed against your nation and can't be stopped. There are only minutes left..."* Good luck! @Godcomplex @Razah *Yes I stole this from Reddit. Sue me. |
word.
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Noted.
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I don't feel like writing
My liver might be dying My lungs are full of reefer This verse is full of ether These rhymes are very sick Line 5s not as good as six If you like this verse, nigga you are too gay I'm down to post tomorrow, turn up on a Tuesday You know what I need some sleep, got a host to show. Hope the world doesn't blow up *shrugs |
Children gather around, let me tell you something
What I’m about to give you is a hellish substance News that entails destruction, but don’t be afraid. Ask me anything, and I’ll try to convey an array Of replies, but frankly I’m not sure it’ll delay the pain. Remember (sings) “I love you, you love me We’ll {die} a happy family”, albeit sullied. Timmy: I know you’re just a man under that costume But, I don’t get the point of suffering’s value Why must we cover our wounds with sulfur-like solutes? Before leaving, my father left me a cryptic letter That said: “Son, I hope you never live for pleasure”. Please tell me, the meaning of all this! My life has been but jumbled pieces of abyss. You’re asking me to impart a thesis to a kid But I, a nihilist, neither have a reason to exist I personify the samsara in the Buddha’s conscious; Being content with the contents of life is an elusive concept That defies the entire process of our collective human logic. Timmy, it is likely your father abused narcotics And like all other self-wallowing drug addicts, He chose to impart to you a last bit of compassion, A thought fragment meant to be engraved. So you’ll be the change, he hoped he was. Yet, despite his good wishes (pauses) …I’m afraid there’s no hope for us. Natasha: I’m afraid I’ll never get to kiss a boy Or be given primordial organic joy, In which the depth of my organism is destroyed By means of spiritual coitus with a crazy lover! I’m also concerned about my baby brother He was born with his retinas detached Will his blind eyes be able to see the heavenly lands? Lost… who will rescue him, a predator perhaps? I mentally lack the capacity to appreciate destiny’s wrath In science class, I learned when we’re in pain our brain chemically snaps; Flooding our body with endorphins, until its intensity stops But, the pain always comes back with its complexity upped. My essence is in shock knowing we’re helplessly caught In a distressing plot comprised of incalculable hurt Barney, I don’t know how I’ll stand the unfathomable burns. Little girl, don’t feel bad this entire world is an existential trap Instead of getting caught in the minutia of exponential math And the differential gaps that come from this line of thinking Indulge in the realization that our finite minds can listen To the sounds of this world that can only be described as living. As for your desire to experience spiritual ecstasy, It is a miracle of miracles, That allows women to undergo physical pregnancy So as to produce mortal entities, like yourself. I can embrace you if you really want to be held Show you the entirety- the body of a man can reveal. Honestly, though, there is a disgusting smell A pheromone river that riddles what such touch entails. As for your brother’s visceral tale, He’ll be released from his miserable shell; Freed, to swim aimlessly in oblivion’s well. As to you all: I won’t comfort any of you with religious dribble All I can say is if there is an afterlife where spirits linger Be sure to give whoever in charge there the middle finger! And it’s a big if, But if it’s true do remember having a spirit stripped us Of living in bliss. Natasha, it crippled your brother, and may have even killed us. (As the bomb hits, Barney tightly grips the children Singing a twisted take on I love you, Performing a rendition of it that was never scripted) |
up & vote edited here..
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V/UnbornComplex, you had the far superior verse here that isn't a doubt
I felt had Razah taken the extension that DrDog offered til 9 this morning he may have come with a thorough verse these past few weeks may have taken it's toll or you may have had an agenda to tend to you have had better showings there is no need to write a no show verse knowing you could have penned something in the AM either way... You’re asking me to impart a thesis to a kid But I, a nihilist, neither have a reason to exist I personify the samsara in the Buddha’s conscious; Being content with the contents of life is an elusive concept That defies the entire process of our collective human logic. Timmy, it is likely your father abused narcotics ^^^ I love the shit out of that, I make tender love right here then I proceed to fuck your brains out that's what this is... you have a very smooth pattern that you are using most recently it shows improvement in putting a lid on the boiling pot that is your mind you further impress me my friend... Little girl, don’t feel bad this entire world is an existential trap Instead of getting caught in the minutia of exponential math And the differential gaps that come from this line of thinking Indulge in the realization that our finite minds can listen To the sounds of this world that can only be described as living. As for your desire to experience spiritual ecstasy, It is a miracle of miracles, That allows women to undergo physical pregnancy ^^^^^ stuff like this is really dope, I wish you had kept the rhyming up though that 'thinking' line was a little stutter to me but what follows is clean as hell I really enjoy how you built up that little moment at the end of this quote either way there was more to your verse that had it's peaks as well but this were some of my favorite parts, a very nice showing...good job brah |
I honestly don't feel so much like voting here and will instead just give feedback to Godcomplex's verse.
Firstly, I loved how you opened this. Real light hearted and conversational like, not over the top with bombarding the reader with information and heavy content. It's a good approach, one I used vs Certain in a previous battle deliberately actually to draw the reader in from the get go - get them immersed - then go into the heavier material later. Deft touch, but I see what you did. And it worked. Especially as during your PR run they always seemed to nitpick over you being so heavy content wise. It's nice to see you taking note of their feedback and responding to it. It hones your sword. It adds another dimension to your attack and will serve you well long-term. You're one of my favourites to champ the whole season and in this form I still reckon you'll be there or thereabout. Very impressive. Keep that pen moving! |
OH THIS WAS THE CHAMP MATCH?
FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. Champs aren't crowned if they're no-showed so it was good of Razah to post some ish at least. I guess I do need to vote. Vote - Godcomplex |
MVGT Godcomplex
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Quote:
I read the verse and the no-show verse. Nothing to say about it really, a good writer who dropped a verse to some extent vs a no show verse. v/godcomplex |
Razah -
I, personally, think that line five was better than six. But who am I to disagree with the author? GodComplex - This was pretty funny. Picturing Barney as a nihilist and softly suggesting he could fuck a kid as a last hurrah. The vocabulary of the kids themselves brought me out of the piece a bit. A bit too advanced, didn't really capture that voice well. If you had I think the dichotomy of the questions vs. replies would've been even funnier. But this was solid, and good in some sections. A nice misdirection kind of verse. I enjoyed reading it. V/ GC |
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