A Progressively Drunken Thread by The Ultimate Hero
 

I have had but one beer. I have 11 more and a moderate sized handle of vodka. I shall consume it all and post my discoveries on here.

Firstly, I would like to condemn the female human body for not laying eggs. Periods are an abomination and pregnancy is the absolute most solid proof there are in fact twelve and a half Satans.

More to come.

Ever done lsd?

Nope. Did salvia a few times and kept thinking it was the 1980s though, save for the one time I thought I was trapped in a soda bottle and accidentally punched everyone within a 3 foot radius in my attempts to escape.

That, weed, and enough booze to give Ozzy Osbourne a hangover.

Fuck yes... finally someone who gets it, the meaning of life.

All of the beer is gone and half of the vodka. I am obliged by my own declaration that I'm soon to go get in some games at the pool hall. But I think I should grow my own bhut jolokia and scorpion peppers to make a salsa almost as strong as pepper spray for the sole reason that I have grown to enjoy ghost peppers. The other day I made a breakfast wrap and drenched it in ghost pepper sauce... it burned almost as much as two of my insults, but it was an experience.

Meowing is the ultimate sign of weakness. Housecats are a symbol of one giving up when there is more than two involved. Trust me, I'm a doctor. Oh yeah, I gotta go get in some pool at the pool hall.

Hamburgers are the minion to the soul as they bring joy. I would love Burger King's "great steak" sandwiches, maybe four. That and a McPizza to commemorate some limited time goodness. But I'm stuck with a ribeye I undercooked, and it was swell.

man oh man, this thread gives.

lol this happened to me once except replace soda bottle with super mario world

i started uppercutting the dude next to me thinking it was a coin block