giant
 

i used to ride my father's shoulders
hands clasped, i was a giant
gazed in astonished silence
at the world from such a height.
safe and sound and warm and fresh
made them proud with every breath
drawn deep to sing along with tape cassettes.
the smell of cigarettes inside my overalls and blankets
my mother's favorite apron had a pocket stitched in front
where she planted both her hands
when she was growing impatient.
waiting for him. so was i. headlights rolling at 10
meant he was home again. his Jeep wrangler was red
rusted and gorgeous. exhaust fuming our fortress
shotgun en route to school to feel important
seatbelt around my torso. the day
i climbed upon his shoulders and my balance had waned
my feet hung down much closer to his waist
i felt his chest beating, breathing harshly. sweat
droplets, graying scalp. i could have wept
but only climbed off and walked myself to the store
knowing that i couldn't be a giant anymore.

Salute

poignant. made me want to write.

this is dope as fuck considering how brief it is

quality > quantity for sure

rhymes sucked thx

aha jk

idunno how u do it. even shit i normally wouldn't like, i end up liking when u write about it haha

good quick little piece that seemed more raw and less dressed up if u kknow what i mean. the rhymes weren't nearly up to ur usual standards but u obv just wrote this more for the story and the feels than for the rhymes. was a bit different you but i still like it

keep it fresh my g
Oh and huge congrats on champing the tourney brah, even despite having probly the biggest target on your back than anyone else
dope

ur a faggot amongst babys

Dope. Made me sad.

bbz plz

you're so idiot at its finest

about to delete this cause so idiotic. this is wat this site as become so much idiots

Advantage shark?

fucking gone

Nah, this was cool, man. For one I had a distaste with a bit of your imagery. The storyline, was awesome, but I felt you didn't expand. of course that's the contiguous foreshadow at play, but it was just a bit...off. Good, on task writing though. Everything seemed okay, but felt the shift from shoulders-realization of no more shoulders through metaphor was super fast. The abrupt ending was probablyyyyy part of it? But yeah.

lmao hehe

I found this to be interesting. is this a topical piece?
the emotion seems spot on as it reflects back into itself
the nuances are great and make you dive into the piece from the beginning
You tap into your reserves better than anyone I've had the honor of reading
which makes a more admirable writer. this was a dope drop my dude

hey

yo do u even knwo what contiguous means, like slightly touching and shit? Your HS sophomore eng teacher still likes u but u are a non entity amongst non entities and are not good enough to critique black. Please meditate then try again thanks

?

didn't read but not enough multis, punches was still good tho, keep writing



nah but this was really, really good. no need to comment on how different it is from your usual steez. I love the technique of focusing on a singular moment of conversion to undermine an entire perspective. you build it up and break it down. not much else to be said, but this was dope as fuck.