Netcees

Netcees (http://netcees.org/index.php)
-   Open Mic Section (http://netcees.org/forumdisplay.php?f=6)
-   -   2:09AM notes (http://netcees.org/showthread.php?t=118673)

Bodey 05-20-2015 08:10 AM

2:09AM notes
 
chewin skin off my cheeks, passin up the moment
fluidly it leaks as it scratches me to hold it
too much interwoven bullshit boiling the stove pit
wrists growin swollen, soiling me sewn-in
strollin down the block, puffin herbal medicines
stolen by my thoughts, grab a journal, reminisce
molded to be mocked: an infernal nemesis
smokin too much pot.. choked-up purple messages
a passenger of a fascist curse, no sash or girth
self-destructive massacre mixed with flasks of worth
the past is dirt.. oh unmask me, Earth
get me back on the track with the laughs that hurt

Mr. J 05-20-2015 10:53 PM

strollin down the block, puffin herbal medicines
stolen by my thoughts, grab a journal, reminisce
molded to be mocked: an infernal nemesis
smokin too much pot.. choked-up purple messages

^^^
this little section is smooth, I'm impressed by this
I often enjoy reading your works when I'm in the mood
and when I see you pull something off like that, I see hope
I also quite liked after 'sash & girth' or however that went
the line following massacre is quite well, this is an improvement
you seem more controlled. as a matter of fact...
I can easily masterbate to this

Bodey 05-23-2015 07:10 AM

Haha thx for the feed. And idk if it's really improvement. I just feel like my brain doesn't have a cloudiness anymore. It's finally free


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:40 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2025 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.