jugs
 

I don't even care for breathing air, like A.) it’s clearly a mission. B.) Decided not to get angry today. It's barely decision. Think life should be more grand than it is, but it isn’t. Can’t have regrets with being wrong, that’s why I love indecision. Sweater against chins, found myself looking for trouble. I love when the thread gets hooked to the stubble. Everyday that awaits is merely a presence. Trepidation dismayed, Come on, spare me a second. Deliriums weighed out of space, a variable essence, just savor today and take care of the present. Valiant way to go about positive pulses. To distract any and, all cognitive focus. Bottled emotions are false, I recycle with candor. Light a candle for the fervor, yeah, I’m slightly enamored. Find me an ember, then signal me over. Superstar to the blackhole you stitched in the nova. Pray to thy father for all lucrative sin. Indifferent with my efforts to feel human again Making deliberate errors to feel human again. I don’t feel human again. Oh my god, I don’t feel human again. Crippling endeavor, how loose can I get? Mixing leisure with whenever = hows the hubris in print? Ballad of blueprints I script; valid Freudian slips. That the entire, massive audience gets. Parrying my worries off with a quart of vodka and gin. Cocky with grins, cordial to the ghosts that i sleep with. Blood alcohol at about .8 for a better portion of week. Speak in harbingers. cohesive volume bleep. Final cut of Lost in Translation in scene, ironically explains my solitude deeper than any audible scheme .what a phenomenal feat, I still dream about the hairs on your neck. To tell this real boy that he’s still a marionette. Cut my heart strings, in all fairness, respect. Your stare down had me speechless at my ventriloquist act. Webbing off surrealism, with tarantulan siege. Gargantuan in a glass jar, with nothing to reach. With nothing but handprints on the outside that acted as speech. Palpable. Weak. I wish when I talked, that my verbal drew in circles with supersonic aplomb. And my vowels would nonchalantly evolve through a canvass. through a gospel of songs that I draw within language. Go into a lobby, as if I’m talking to god, to what I embody; through an army of my consonant art.

yooo consonant art wow this was good

not.

wack tbh 5/10

yo this would be good except u have no idea what you're saying and you use too many adjectoves

3/10

Don't listen to NYC, bb. He only likes ninja stories.

This was a good piece!

I enjoyed much of this, particularly the very core of it. You have a unique way of detailing emotion and capturing it via scenic metaphors, that are usually coaxed into the realm of hyperbole's. Thus, you thread on the line between the overexaggerated, while trying to keep a firm foot on the more gross aspect of existence, mainly the emotions, and the other associated aspects of the paleomammalian brain. You shape your behavior around its processes giving birth to a writing that possesses marks of poetic languor, accompanied by bouts of fervor that give the reader a very surreal experience. But, again it does have an abstract quality to it.
I thought the beginning line was a bit less enticing as what followed, which is understandable, but does provide obvious setbacks in the pace of the unfolding of the emotive abreaction. But, the biggest critique I can say is that the last line felt just too subtle, in the sense that it felt as if it ended abruptly, without any real closure to the rest of the writing, particularly the very core of it. To summarize, a pleasure, thank you.

This had neat moments. You used the word 'parry' so I could tell you were being real, since bb is an amateur boxer, rite? lolol. Nice construction at the end and effective way of creating a genuine-sounding tone.