trust me, babe
 

the moment was so existentialist. I brought 3 apples.
one for the both of us. & 1 for the road
if it comes up I suppose we could split it
undisclosed disposition. hanging from the hammock ropes
in the stitching. there was hope, for half-robed demolition
bungalow; almost out of a dream- quite a bit intensive
fictitious; in the sense, paints peeling from white picket fences
Strange feeling, in front of the mowed lawn
in between the solstice of summer and spring
molded from the cumbersome explosions you’d bring
love when she hands me her half bitten apple - as if it comes with an asterisk.
an ad-lib example, of italics in the back of the index
take a bite out of the apple or take a bite out of me
fall in love in the castle. fall in drown to the sounds of the sea
comparisons to the moon - thought were drastically measured
but noticed high tide receded sunrise where my gravity centered
upset. I bite my lips till’ blood spills in the battlefront mist
not to inflict pain, but deflect the traces of that dispassionate kiss
teeth marks turn into tattoos covering the mistakes from the past
the china vase that bloomed flowers, but shattered, is only serrated as glass
like lately i feel, sort of amazing. yet displaced and unreal, unsanctioned
revealed. abated. idealistic adulation unveiled. just waiting
unrelated, too anxious to seal the tiny indiscreet places unfilled
out on the rock, by the creek. placing your hand on my cheek
detached since forever. you help me make these connections I seek
never thought i’d be formal, but make me feel normal. at least..
enthralled in coercion, your neglect changed me overall as a person
love was linear, so now i write love songs and sonnets in cursive
despondent. subversive. tire swing made from your 91′ Cherokee jeep
which showed me you still used parts from the past thrown away in the street
connective to the stylus of the records through music created
overuse of the grooves from the vinyl discarded my humanlike traits
describing an incentive to twist, a sigh and a scent of distress
its funny & sad, i write to remind myself to remember to live
if you’re reading this right now, i probably need to reevaluate my resolve
dissolve in the valium wake. retaliate from the maxims til’ i can barely walk
i could barely talk. my adolescence consisted of wishing i died.
living without really having lived, now i don’t even think im alive
now even feeling a feeling is feeling contrived
cause six feet seems like such a waste to shovel. just let the sediment dry
Chesterfield smoke on Elmora and 5th, such a vivid annoyance
beginning to fill my lungs with smoke, that i’ve come to avoid
now i play villain cause i just simply enjoy it

you should make that wish of dying come true for yourself, that's the only part that was worth reading

if you took the best lines Badii Ali ever wrote, put them all in one verse, and then edited them to make sense together, it would still be worse than the average open mic verse

Saying you feel "unsanctioned" is really great phrasing/word choice.

This was some pristine shit, through and through. Dem feels.

Thanks for the read.

This was a dope read, Props.


these were my favorite bars..

comparisons to the moon - thought were drastically measured
but noticed high tide receded sunrise where my gravity centered
out on the rock, by the creek. placing your hand on my cheek
detached since forever. you help me make these connections I seek
never thought i’d be formal, but make me feel normal. at least..
enthralled in coercion, your neglect changed me overall as a person
love was linear, so now i write love songs and sonnets in cursive
despondent. subversive. tire swing made from your 91′ Cherokee jeep
which showed me you still used parts from the past thrown away in the street

Ya this was really good. U should like this more often. Instead of ur usual random thoughts jumbled together. This was a coherent piece. Liked everything about it. A+

teeth marks turn into tattoos covering the mistakes from the past
the china vase that bloomed flowers, but shattered, is only serrated as glass
like lately i feel, sort of amazing. yet displaced and unreal, unsanctioned
revealed. abated. idealistic adulation unveiled. just waiting
unrelated,

^baby, stop being so fucking good, you.

enthralled in coercion, your neglect changed me overall as a person
love was linear, so now i write love songs and sonnets in cursive
despondent. subversive. tire swing made from your 91′ Cherokee jeep
which showed me you still used parts from the past thrown away in the street

very good

if you want some critical feed i didn't think "humanlike traits" worked. From a technical standpoint. I think you knew it too. I think you knew that was "pushing it." Lmao. Everything else- very impressive.

lol I did spend time on that line. I went with human like traits as a more, off kilter line to build up the change of tone in the latter part of the verse. but you're right, I didn't think it fit but that's why I changed the tone.

Loooooool bb fag gay homo emo lmao lmaoo Lmaqooooooaoaoao FAG GET LAOLEMOOOOOOOOO

"the moment was so existentialist"

lmao fucking horrible, overly sweet with poetics and bad grammar as usual

stop clicking ur own thread to get more views u dumb 0 confidence spic fagg0t

Very strong elements of some other writers in here. I liked it, though they felt like they were added as a nod to those writers & didn't seem to accomplish the same things that those writers use them for.

not to inflict pain, but deflect the traces of that dispassionate kiss
teeth marks turn into tattoos covering the mistakes from the past
the china vase that bloomed flowers, but shattered, is only serrated as glass
like lately i feel, sort of amazing. yet displaced and unreal, unsanctioned
revealed. abated. idealistic adulation unveiled. just waiting
unrelated, too anxious to seal the tiny indiscreet places unfilled
out on the rock, by the creek. placing your hand on my cheek
detached since forever. you help me make these connections I seek
never thought i’d be formal, but make me feel normal. at least..
enthralled in coercion, your neglect changed me overall as a person
love was linear, so now i write love songs and sonnets in cursive
despondent. subversive. tire swing made from your 91′ Cherokee jeep
which showed me you still used parts from the past thrown away in the street

The way you jump between ideas, visual details, and explanatory thoughts is really refreshing. It's more of a complete, wide-focused view than many writers manage.

This seemed like BB was on adderall
but honestly that don't matter dawg..
this is what happens when you had a thought
kept it, instead of blabberin' on..
BB could stand for big boy now, because you made this coherent
the flow and everything came together unlike your web appearance
and it molded together creating a new synthesis of BB
I guess thats what happens when that innocence can be free..
either way I felt like you took this to a whole new level
for this..I will trust you, and play advocate for the devil

nice work