Dead Man -- Vulture
 

i'm


not sure anymore why i bother at all
something sticks if you can throw enough collage at the wall
heal my scars. fill the bathtub. watercolors, we talked
of love and sacrifice and how i worded it wrong
if you follow along it's all a part of the same
piece of memory i strained into a siphon and hanged
by the bed. so we could stare at it on turbulent days
i felt your chevy passing while i walked to the train
i'm sorry i can't focus on a chain of command
or a central theme. like destiny or taking a stand
we're strangers in a house. it's like we're making the band
strangers on a website where we speak with our hands
i'll never be the same as circa sometime before
guess i'm entertained the most when everybody is bored
born into a body with benevolent force
let it go to waste and wait to be a corpse. washed ashore
endorphins for a run and nicotine to absorb
breathe mist, remember all the nights i slept on the floor
my friends were all enlisted in a president's war
with a blanket from salvation army keeping me warm
if you made it this far you are my brother in arms
watched me rise and struggle hopelessly until i dissolve
it's only natural like highway traffic after the dawn
everybody left me so i'm finally calm
if you think it's deprecating for the sake of applause
you may be right. i hope you don't remember me at all
i hope this watch rusts and all my problems are solved
i hope they let me drive my honda home from the bar
caught in the riptides. searching for the sum of your parts
you know me best as your own interpretation to carve
so write me off. i'm somebody you've seen from afar
who's seen too many suicides to write for the art
fuck poetry and prose and all the things we revere
i tried to live for others and it landed me here
i'm no vonnegut or tolkein, hunter thompson or king
just a vulture with no wind beneath my wings





thank you

"you know me best as your own interpretation to carve"

excellent piece of reflection from start to finish. more to come, but there's a bunch of korean kids in front of me atm

This was dope. BEST DEAD MAN PIECE IVE READ THE PAST FEW WEEKS IN MY HUMBLE OPINION.

I'd go into further detail but I too have a bunch of Korean kids in front of me.

Dope. Another one that hits home. speak with our hands, everybody is bored, sleep on the floor. Riptides, write for the art. All dope. Every line coolio. Felt it. Feel it. Gives me feeling . Stay up brother.

hate it when that happens

Harsh.

something sticks if you can throw enough collage at the wall

this whole opener was fucking insane man.
it read like something out of one f my notebooks of past. just had a sick way of delivering it.
the qouted line. just crazy

i'll never be the same as circa sometime before
guess i'm entertained the most when everybody is bored

and this is what makes ncs so good. its really pretty clever the way you jotted this.
i mean, if it werent for a world of boredom... the internet would be absent of any of this. loved this

the rest was written nicely. just didnt have anything that struck me like those two
good shit

'Making the band' line was pretty smooth..
classic deadman here..nothing to really critique
a verse full of quotables and great progression
another great piece breh..nothing else I can say really..

I will feed this tonight

'll never be the same as circa sometime before
guess i'm entertained the most when everybody is bored
born into a body with benevolent force


everybody left me so i'm finally calm
if you think it's deprecating for the sake of applause
you may be right. i hope you don't remember me at all
i hope this watch rusts and all my problems are solved


& that fucking intro. Top tier wording.

This is another awesome piece. It's decidedly deadman in every aspect, but by writing a deadman verse, you're writing a great verse.

Not much else to say except thank you really for the constant stream of great reads. Nice to see somebody so committed to their writing and always posting high quality material. Good luck in the AOWL, competition looks stiff. Keep doing what you have been though, and it should all work out for you.

for the most part i love the way you phrase things and describe things. The kind of phraseology that even if it's serious makes me shake my head smirking or laughing because it's creative or provocative. i'm not quoting any right now because there were a bunch. well here's one:
i'll never be the same as circa sometime before.

rhymes are almost always on point. effortless at times, in a good way.

didn't like the word "hopelessly" from a technical perspective, the way things were going. suppose there's a way to shape it.
right after that tho I loved "only natural / highway traffic".

keep it up i enjoy your shit