Cambridge
 

fire place with tourettes. pop and crackles in depth
drunkenly asking questions I wouldnt dare. I was shy
recherché brunette, with curlicue braids in her head
there's a reason wine glasses are in the shape of a Y
fork in the road, left or go right, slicing tension with knives
I went left, it felt right. spooning you cus' the etiquette's nice
drinking the truths I fed you, intoxicated with lies
sedated and high. i've contemplated for help
what kills you isn't the virus, it's the inoculation itself
it's what helps you, and what hurts you; it's complicated as hell
whatever. that isn't what I wanted to say
I wanted to go, but in jest I wanted to stay
it's getting awfully late. capturing arguments offside
cured by clever wording, Cambridge-Oxford alumni
defunct and debased. aim the hair and the trigger
selfishly enamored with death. date at 8, before dinner
ignoring the nose bleed as I stare in the mirror
tighten my neck-tie. debonair of elixir
ignored the pain, hailed a taxi to a chain up in Gloucester
took off her pea coat, pulled up her chair, and with posture
stayed after pay. After lobster. Chatting crucially after
doodled on napkins. flirty exchanges on contours
draw a monster for me. now.. what makes it a monster?
Voodoo and magic, pin the needle on the doll
Incognito. High libido in the stalls.
torpedoed, and we fall. Mistaking distress cause i'm loyal
disrobing attempts at joy. sex as a crutch to enjoy you
aware, but yet not so. picked up on the influenced behavior
clues like, you were nice to me, but were rude to the waiter
apprehensive as creatures; egotistical shroud we bestowed
to, jealous of the fires made when I was set out in the cold
mistakes are subjective. practicing repetition til' death
like a photo out of focus is a blunder, but ten are a trend
ambien, ambiance, ambulance.
a picture of you in a locket near my hearts strings
open it up. learning to stop looking for happiness where i lost it

:).

Littered with lovely quotables. Y shape. Enamored with death was dope. Thank you.

"drinking the truths I fed you, intoxicated with lies
sedated and high. i've contemplated for help
what kills you isn't the virus, it's the inoculation itself
it's what helps you, and what hurts you; it's complicated as hell"

"date at 8, before dinner
ignoring the nose bleed as I stare in the mirror
tighten my neck-tie. debonair of elixir
ignored the pain, hailed a taxi to a chain up in Gloucester
took off her pea coat, pulled up her chair, and with posture
stayed after pay. After lobster. Chatting crucially after
doodled on napkins. flirty exchanges on contours
draw a monster for me. now.. what makes it a monster?"

"torpedoed, and we fall. Mistaking distress cause i'm loyal
disrobing attempts at joy. sex as a crutch to enjoy you
aware, but yet not so. picked up on the influenced behavior
clues like, you were nice to me, but were rude to the waiter"

"like a photo out of focus is a blunder, but ten are a trend"

+the last line were all strong standouts here. The second section I quoted was particularly good. It's one of the best descriptive bursts I've read on here in awhile, although I haven't read much here in awhile. The wording in that section, and throughout really, was just perfectly on point. "stayed after pay" and "chatting crucially" are what I'm talking about. Really painted the scene well. You can see the dimmed lights, tablecloth, and atmosphere of the setting and you didn't have to say a word about all that to do it. Really well done piece, enjoyed the tone.

Thanks.

I loved this! It portrayed an ambiance, while detailing details that caught the narrators eyes, as he scribed their images into his retinas. Very succinct detailing of the minor things, such as the shape of the glass, and for some reason the doodling on the napkins was outright humorous for me. The ending was also quite quirky, bringing another chuckle to this most joyous of day. One of the reasons, I probably liked this much is because it maintained eloquence, while never stagnating in development, as you compartmentalized all the characteristics and constituent of the setting. Good.

I liked the ending, but small parts of this seemed saccharine if not trite. Ambiance/ ambien/ ambulance comes to mind. Good characterization of the significant other for consumption by the reader.

You pronunciation of Gloucester makes me happy.