Netcees

Netcees (http://netcees.org/index.php)
-   Open Mic Section (http://netcees.org/forumdisplay.php?f=6)
-   -   VARNISH (http://netcees.org/showthread.php?t=113434)

big baby 12-21-2014 07:41 PM

VARNISH
 
look

particle physics; radiation cusps at every speck and a grain
didn’t mean infecting the inflections as your hypothetical claim
bite the bullet. swallowing the pistol. it shoots
harboring a hollow feeling. sipping miller to boot
coil gripped Corona, drowning out social persona
were evolving into moths, wallowing towards the
murky gray skies. yeah, the coffee! what’s next?
marvelous pillow talk over a body of sex
heel gone from the left side of my moccasin treads
in particular, inarticulate guy with philosophers breath
cotton linen robe; tonight i uncover the secrets you stashed
underneath the cardinal chasm embedded deep in the cracks
try to unfurl the english, through your lips on contours
christmas carolers scarf, closed captioned lyrics encore
wept for concourse, a few have witnessed my characters arc
behind the lighthouse, my sailors boat tried to signal off shore
shelf life of a dying love is only half of what you want it to be
being in love, and being in dumb. It doesn’t mean I’d just drop it and leave
singing the songs, for the markers. autumn leaves for the author
monastery blues. with the indents of my knees on the altar
statistician Jack Daniels keeping crop of my phobia lot
who woulda knew behind every letter is a quarter of scotch
stench of me in the shirt i gave you ‘for the aroma in seams’
with 4 inches of your middle carpal on a mobile digital screen
soul gazer, in trench-coat i remember the buttons with such reminiscence
forgetting how to speak to me, Landau-Kleffner expression
promises made by executioners, fueled by the guillotine lust
soft lips, & a barbed tongue, said your farewells clean cut


bb

PancakeBrah 12-21-2014 08:07 PM

The flow was bonk.

dead man 12-21-2014 08:13 PM

:)

Wise Wiggles 12-22-2014 12:47 AM

Go out and kill people to this

Witty 12-22-2014 03:17 PM

I'm drunk as always, maybe more than usual, but this was dope as usual.

I like how you make words feel like they have been resting within me forever and the only way they get free is when you write them.

for real...you're my favourite.

Witty 12-22-2014 03:31 PM

Nah for real this was dope.

Inarticulate guy with philosopher's breath.

Impressive. Again, speaks to me on a personal level.

dull boy 12-22-2014 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Witty (Post 455527)
I'm drunk as always, maybe more than usual, but this was dope as usual.

I like how you make words feel like they have been resting within me forever and the only way they get free is when you write them.

for real...you're my favourite.

I like you.

Witty 12-22-2014 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dull boy (Post 455567)
I like you.

:)

I like you too friend.

I hope you and your little ones have a good christmas.

PancakeBrah 12-22-2014 05:21 PM

Just reread this and got to say the flow was bonk

Witty 12-22-2014 05:44 PM

It was indeed bonk.

holocene 01-01-2015 02:54 AM

Hello, bane baby. This was a nice rap. The line breaks were not limiting at all and could be called arbitrary in the grand scheme of the verse. The line breaks do not matter but then why bother at all? Your vocabulary was also enjoyable, it was off the cuff and yet also erudite. I thought this verse was very probing but not very revealing.

Mercules 01-06-2015 06:29 PM

pretty slick. good read

Scrollz 01-06-2015 07:00 PM

mean mean..reminds me of Aesop rock..

Mitch 01-06-2015 08:29 PM

yea this reminded me of aesop rock to. bb i cant feed u cus ur over my skill lvl, i wish i cud, ur great


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:01 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2025 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.