Teenage anxst and loneliness
 

If i could just find the one..... I
promise... I be forever done ,
Days of the month, ...it's been the same ,
trying to find a way to jump off this plane
Will the pilot even noticed I'm gone man it's ashame
How these memories has fucked with me
Taken abuse from my mother to the district police
I'll show u a view of what it's like to be lonely
like I'm watching my life past on from the nosebleeds
Sick of these bogus talking like they know my story
That's why everyday life seems more dum and boring
Fucking fake ones I know what they thought
giving me like tips like one day I'll ask it out of a cup
i don't need your pity , and I don't need your guidance
I need you to hear me and get to know who I am
crying out in this desert and my throat feels like iron
So don't be surprised when you hear the rushing sirens.

This was decent. You went on a bit of a tangent at some spaces, from the opening line seeking some sort of release to coins in a cup, but the overarching connection was most definitely prevalent throughout. Would've liked to see a more thorough continuation of the references you used and some of the imagery you tried to incorporate, like the 'desert' and 'iron' references. But this seems more like a quick written so it's somewhat understandable. It has some emotional/powerful moments though, and I can definitely appreciate that.

i could accept this if it were dagel, despite him being like 40 now, but otherwise this was too emo and ultimately simplistic for me to enjoy. read more, play more, formulate idea expanding past how you merely feel and it'll come to you.