Zelph vs Wanderer - WANDERER WINS BY NS
 

NO biting
NO swaying
NO feeding
Don't edit after your opponent has posted
2nd person to post can't edit after the first vote comes in
Don't be an idiot
Don't use your opponent's pic unless it's a pic battle
May God have mercy on your souls
@Smod of War @Wanderer

10?

10 it is


Good luck wandy

Ext

Yep

Sup lippy.??
Covid restrictions easing has families moved to tears
While a face mask was the best thing to happen to u in years
Won our last 4 or 5 now where’s the trash pile I’m dumpin u in
Failed multiple times with Wand so it’s clear u can’t conjure a win
Recycling, biting, DQ’s?? time to consider retirement
now I’m recycling too.. disposing of u only helps this environment
Requirement is proof bloods been spilled when the blades expel ya
S’why my boys off to hunt a princess with a heart container like they playing Zelda
Zelph bruh ya trolling, facts.. not from my streets or holding gats
If u say ‘there’s only 1 way out the hood’ it’s coz u live in a cul de sac
@Smod of War

Covid restrictions easing has families moved to tears
While a face mask was the best thing to happen to u in years
the punch is basic, which isn't necessarily bad. but it means you probably could have said all that with fewer words and added in some more harsh language for the sake of sting. Trying to work in words like 'deformed' or whatever would help elevate this from a jab to a solid hit.
Won our last 4 or 5 now where’s the trash pile I’m dumpin u in
Failed multiple times with Wand so it’s clear u can’t conjure a win
ha. I like this. It's light, but perfect for an early verse punch. Funny, short, helps the flow of things from the reader's perspective.
Recycling, biting, DQ’s?? time to consider retirement
now I’m recycling too.. disposing of u only helps this environment
actually cool
Requirement is proof bloods been spilled when the blades expel ya
S’why my boys off to hunt a princess with a heart container like they playing Zelda
this is the kind of thing that would maybe work live, but seeing it written out and thinking about it has me going 'tf is a heart container doing'. I overdo this kind of bar too often so I can't criticize too much (I know the allure) and it's not terrible in a vacuum.

However, I think when you're making these references you kind of have to work the other way around (or at least think about it that way after it's written). Start with the real world thing (gun, knife, etc), then the way to flip it (stick, gat, whatever) then try to work it into a punch. Just my opinion though.
Zelph bruh ya trolling, facts.. not from my streets or holding gats
If u say ‘there’s only 1 way out the hood’ it’s coz u live in a cul de sac
teehee. Light but funny. I fuck with it



You were consistent, I'd say 4 out of 5 concepts worked for me. For the next round, you might want to try rewording some of these bars to be a little meaner - see the feedback on your opener for what I mean - because you have most of it down, could just use a little sting

dope verse dude, working with what you had it was very professional.. vocab solid very street.. structure dope and flow was hot punches there.. all in all pretty cool

Sup lippy.??
Covid restrictions easing has families moved to tears
While a face mask was the best thing to happen to u in years
pretty simple, a bit more complexion would've made this hit better for me

Won our last 4 or 5 now where’s the trash pile I’m dumpin u in
Failed multiple times with Wand so it’s clear u can’t conjure a win
nice

Recycling, biting, DQ’s?? time to consider retirement
now I’m recycling too.. disposing of u only helps this environment
cool.. its kinda played though

Requirement is proof bloods been spilled when the blades expel ya
S’why my boys off to hunt a princess with a heart container like they playing Zelda
not getting this.. probably cuz I never played Zelda

Zelph bruh ya trolling, facts.. not from my streets or holding gats
If u say ‘there’s only 1 way out the hood’ it’s coz u live in a cul de sac
lol decent

Zelph is a fucking bitch. Would have lost anyway per usual.