Black - Genesis Gray
 

i come home to withdraw. sober, smoking cigars
i'm not alone. just feeling lonely is all. coping is hard
so far from where i'm headed to, so hopefully lost
on the road to exhaustion. pea coats, promotions and jobs
so hand me the trophy. master like Roshi, floating beyond
illuminate, my new estate is glow-in-the-dark
human beings are carbon correlates, emotional beasts
this is the only way i know to release, since the opiates ceased
lately i've been limiting my social retreats
cause my friends are growing stranger as the moments increase
between times that were and are.
bar tabs, stoned at the beach
lighting up a cigarette. feeling closer to peace
now than i've ever been - the picture of contentment at first
now i'm drinking everyday before i head into work
cancer in my family, we're genetically cursed
so this toxicity is only doing destiny's work
let it be known, let it be holy, let it be heard
a legend was born. now every other legend disturbed
a legacy in theory is a legacy earned
there's nothing to teach and even less to be learned
symmetrical, serum ventricle, dimensional curves
objectivity is preference preferred. stencil these words
forever reversed, scripted lifestyle, existential, rehearsed
objectivity's collectively subjective at worst.
Copy thinks i only write to be depressive and hurt
but i write because expression's a dependable urge
left-brain neural energy surge. electrical chains
murder is our midnight sport. athletics have changed
native Seminole genocide. drain their genesis gray
slaughtered in the name of theoretical gains
there will never be a single statement special to say
once the borderline melts between our ethics & faith
the love of my life. i met her nestled away
between a solid rock and infidelity's grave
these motherfuckers love to live incestuous, wait
i hate goodbyes, but love to make an ending mundane







- NED MADA

did you just start renting a condo

negative

dope

Loved where genetics came into play. Your the man, black.

The first half was like a purposeful attempt at just focusing on describing the events and the emotions, this part was nice but the second half kind of beginning roughly at "symmetrical, serum ventricle, dimensional curves" was more of the bio-psychologist lingo in rhyme format that is extremely enjoyable and entertaining. E.g., " left-brain neural energy surge. electrical chains" the chains wordplay was a great subtle one. Also, the "Seminole genocide - slaughtered in the name of theoretical gains" was a good one liner shot too, that seems like a good topic to flesh out further actually. Overall, it's always good fun to read it, enjoy how you approach the different themes and topics discreetly with all the interesting one-liners and short turn of phrase.

Aye it's a good thing ya keeping the boards alive black also there were tons of quotables in that verse and I enjoyed the theme

symmetrical, serum ventricle, dimensional curves
objectivity is preference preferred. stencil these words
forever reversed, scripted lifestyle, existential, rehearsed
objectivity's collectively subjective at worst.
Copy thinks i only write to be depressive and hurt
but i write because expression's a dependable urge
left-brain neural energy surge. electrical chains

nasty as raw dog shit

Damn loved it.

Can really relate to it aswell. Great work black, loved the beginning the most. But was dope all around like always

FIRE STORM

i vow to leave better feedback on all of your pieces than you did here. cause i am a kind and generous human being.

ZYG is the exception. he will receive an equal amount cause i am not that generous or kind.

thanks

I've never seen a fire storm before but if my imagination is right it would be rather intense. I really don't like picking apart pieces anymore. I don't pick apart songs? If it's dope it's dope. This is obv dope af. You heard The Uncluded? Aesop shreds it. Look em up..the flow is what sets you ahead from people though. It's always there. Always.

i just looked the uncluded up and i am now addicted to both them and moldy peaches

thanks pal

Sry, I suck at responding lately. It reflects on my own threads, if that makes you feel any better

Favorites:
so hand me the trophy. master like Roshi, floating beyond
illuminate, my new estate is glow-in-the-dark

let it be known, let it be holy, let it be heard
a legend was born. now every other legend disturbed
a legacy in theory is a legacy earned

Those lines I just quoted there were very impressive. Each time I read something I'm still surprised at how perfectly each and every line is structured. That's not an easy thing to do and yet you do it regularly. In my opinion the beginning was much more interesting than the second half. The setting and emotions you described were nicely done. The second half was undoubtedly the more complex of the two, but the first half was just a more enjoyable read in my opinion. Nonetheless good work.

Black, you're just on a whole nother level man. It's like it doesn't stop, it just keeps going. You'd think someone would get bored reading so much from somebody but the shit you drop is always impressive. Immaculate flow. The scheming. The way you put your words together. I thought your A.Madden drop was bananas, but this shit here is even more impressive. I like the piece as a whole. Yes, you started off on the more personal side in the first half, and you used some very impressive lines to really reel it all in. Then the second half just topped off the first part. That transition, which is very clear, was done sooo smoothly and I feel it packed a more content punch whereas the beginning half was personal, laid back. So this piece overall, was an awesome display of complete, conceptual genius. As I mentioned in your other piece I critiqued, I hope to collab with you but I'm gonna hold off on that for now for the right time. Keep drop'n man. I look forward to more of your work.

Copy thinks i only write to be depressive and hurt
but i write because expression's a dependable urge
left-brain neural energy surge. electrical chains
murder is our midnight sport. athletics have changed
native Seminole genocide. drain their genesis gray
slaughtered in the name of theoretical gains
there will never be a single statement special to say
once the borderline melts between our ethics & faith

This is dope. I'll try to say somethingn meaningful about this later.

I forgot i even wrote this...

I should do topicals more often.

yo i really wana pipe the girl in wise ways sig :))))))))))

i come home to withdraw. sober, smoking cigars------>
cause my friends are growing stranger as the moments increase

^^^ this is particularly appealing to me because the incipient chasm growing between you and your friends poses the question - who is causing the rift? Is it a mix of both parties, them changing or is it playing with the thought that you're estranging yourself from them as you mature? If it's the last the onus is on you and in Nietzschean terms you're bringing yourself closer to the abyss. I see a lot of Nietzschean parallels though you probably weren't even going for them because you both are obsessed with the darker aspects of humanity but embrace a playful vibe simultaneously. It brings to my mind an echo of William James who i was just reading; you can't be two things at once. There is the living fact and nothing else

between times that were and are.
------->
objectivity's collectively subjective at worst.

^^^ lol holla back youngin (WOOT WOOT). I mean, the shit is just nasty as fuck and u made my brain orgasm and fire in lots of directions at the same time. your storytelling ability is cool. you build up and release nicely like the legacy line builds and nothing to teach line releases and both are packed dope shit. the last part makes me think u mean the universe is its own entity amidst a soup of other similarly sized and perhaps larger entities. It uses individual consciousness to curve back onto itself but in the macro sense it's one unique entity like ourselves. anyways lots to be gleaned from here yay


Copy thinks i only write to be depressive and hurt
------->
i hate goodbyes, but love to make an ending mundane

special to say and ethics + faith line exposes the hypocrisy inherent to human nature. I'm beating Objective real bad on chess.com right now. But back to the last the line u follow the faith one with shows ur angst at the human condition in general. We only have the volatile, vibrating mystery of the present moment, and the mind fires on all cylinders finding peace some moments but usually restless and searching, and aside from the respites where you think you've caught on to something, it's like you're slipping further and further away from ultimate reality even as you mature and your wisdom grows, or maybe because of it. reality is imo open to interpretation. objective lost 7 straight.






- NED MADA

the fuck is ned mada?