WEEK 5: (4-0) Blue V (3-0) User CHAMP MATCH (3-2 USER WINS)
 

Rules

1 bar minimum 2 bar max per post

Bar(s) must reference your opponent's, either directly or indirectly
(excluding the first bar(s) posted in the battle, obv)

DO NOT post twice in a row

There is NO restriction on how quickly you can respond once your opponent has posted
(failure to respond within 24 hours of your opponent will result in a DQ)

Excessive chatter leading up to your bars could result in a DQ at my discretion. Let your bars do the talking.

NEW RULE; once both battlers have posted once if you fail to respond within 24 hours your turn will be forfeited and your opponent will have 24 hours from the time your deadline expired to post an additional 1 or 2 bars. You will then be given 24 hours to respond. Failing to respond within the 24 hours more than once will result in the battle ending after your opponent has exercised or declined their option to post an additional 1 or 2 bars.

If you opened the battle you may not post after 10:59PM EST on Sunday.
This is to discourage last second posting without giving your opponent the opportunity to respond and equal the number of posts in a battle.

Thread will close Sunday at midnight EST

@Blue Bayou you're up first. You have 24 hours from the time this thread was posted.

Do me a favor and @ your opponent each time you post. Good luck.

i'm bout to send you straight to hell
you had a lot of old punches last week, & you mentioned des's age as well
a stakeout to me is keeping tabs on my girl in case my wife's a cheat
a steakout to you is 64oz, room temperature, & cooked seven nights a week

@UserName

Hey Blue, that’s a nice open dude
You’re right, I did have old punches, and STILL beat Des by more votes than you
Correction, You’re keeping tabs BECAUSE your wife’s a cheat
BECAUSE I order a steakout, and BECAUSE we meet at hotels seven nights a week
@Blue Bayou

^it's whiffs like those that let me know you've lost ya spark
i've beat Des a dozen times. you needed MY vote not to take a loss to barc
grew up dirt poor & these days you'd die if you diet
funny you come from a Hardhomme. now you look like a Wildling Giant

@UserName

I’m glad you finally worded that concept, I feared it would blow
It only took you 87 rewords over the 5 years since it appeared on the show
And congrats on the kid, but you can’t defend him, for real
One shotgun blast & I’m spraying baby Blue everywhere like a gender reveal
@Blue Bayou

gun to his grill, he'll give me everything he has in this world
his wallet then his life...Stick a G Up like look fam we're having a girl
7 chins is accurate. your BMI's disastrous
rock a necklace & one sneeze'll Break The Chain so fast Fleetwood Mac is pissed

@UserName

Yes I’m fat, but please believe I will knock you down
If I say we’re in the same boat, that shows how much I wanna watch you drown
He’s light work, I read his replies and I’m actually chilling
If I do have 7 Chins, it’s when I’m dispatching Resin’s family to kill him
@Blue Bayou

they'd NEVER let you on, sorry but you're staying local sailor
Skipper see's you you'll hear "sorry i have a Full Boat" like a losing poker player
know your role alright, i know your boyfriend holds you tight
when you see em cold at night you pull apart your cheeks like the guy in Poltergeist

@UserName

It’s weird you chose Poltergeist, no fucking around with the dead
You heard I’m pulling apart cheeks? Funny, I heard that you’re a clown in the bed
Wife’s pregnant, sex is dry, and she’s still running about
You got a snowballs chance getting laid, & there’s no telling who’s cums in her mouth
@Blue Bayou

just showed Mrs. Blue your pic & she said "that's vile Ry"
didn't just make her skin crawl...it made it beat corleone's mile time
sex w/ me's a wild ride, i'm a savage with the dick
my wife'll never get a kick out of the baby like she just did laughin at your pic

@UserName

Nahhhhhh, she’ll get some kicks, that part’s likely dude
Shit, the way I’m stomping, you might be the proud daddy of a Nike Swoosh
Yo yo I’m losing weight burning vegetable fat
You gave your wife a dick in a box, now that’s where she keeps ur testicles at
@Blue Bayou

another 2 boring bars & now you've got a plan to slay us
hate to faultlines but one Stomp from you will = San Andreas
& losing weight?? Tony you have tits n' shit..
you let yourself go like the kid who signed his mom's name on the permission slip


@UserName

Let’s talk about boring bars, I think it’s time for advice
In 6 months EVERY fat joke in here will apply to your wife
I’ll tell her my secret, I quit eating lunches w/ butter
Eat fruits and vegetables; with your genes she’ll likely have one or the other
@Blue Bayou

fat shaming a pregnant woman won't help you snag respect
besides, 'baby wait...' is what you shouted at ur girl as she packed her bags & left
i'll be a great dad, helpin' wifey as i'm cheersing w/ sonny
i won't be able to put the bottle down.. sounds like all 10 years of your twenties

@UserName

Homie, this is a battle, there’s no shame in putting y’all into place
I spent my 20’s drinking, while u got date raped and let people draw on your face
Real smooth, but fat jokes are easy to dig to hide the fact that he’s with a pig
Just be at peace with it kid and realize you’re essentially married to me with a wig
@Blue Bayou

i just love that you think you're punny punk
it's funny stuff, when i draw on your face all that's left will be a bloody stump
keep calling fat jokes easy, i won't say you're wrong dude
you're gunna be some low hanging fruit as well...when i use a long noose

@UserName

It’s well known buddy my weight is a staple, it’s fine
And your hairs seen more product than every multiplication table combined
I’m fat, your short and play thuggish all in your dreams
But if Blues Rollin’ 20’s, it’s only cuz that length is too long for his jeans
@Blue Bayou

Consensus

Judge quotes

Both were very consistent, I feel that blue had a few really good bars, while (User) stayed more neutral with less highs

Each guy came with solid, witty, and really well worded punches... with User doing a slightly better job flipping Blue’s concepts against him

Top to bottom, I thought it was a very solid battle. Probably the best I’ve seen so far in the league

I give User the slightest edge for rebutting better

After a masterful back and fourth exchange the begin the battle I thought User had this one in the bag two or three exchanges in, but for whatever reason his quality slipped a little and Blue closed the gap. I think this league can possibly lead to a little bit of relaxing because you're exchanging so often, but in close battles every bar really adds up and missing any opportunity can make or break the battle. This one ended up coming down to Blue's consistency against User's high points.

Verdict

3 judges thought User edged it by the tightest of margins, 1 felt the same about Blue and another had him grinding it out late for the win.

3-2 User wins