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-   -   MMA fighter vs. A chimpanzee , who would win (http://netcees.org/showthread.php?t=84323)

Mike Wrecka 07-21-2014 07:56 PM

MMA fighter vs. A chimpanzee , who would win
 
chimps maul peoples faces off, but its always people that aren't fighting back. they go in the fetal position while the monkey rages on them.

chimps are stronger in some ways. actually most ways. but no way can a monkey bench press more than a body builder so iono


what if a trained MMA fighter went maniac psycho on a monkey , using grappling and striking skills



what would be the outcome

PancakeBrah 07-21-2014 08:04 PM

chimp

/thread

jilti 07-21-2014 08:35 PM

Im a trained mma fighter. Id say strength vs skill & strength. Granted i heard those things are really strong. So ima go with mma fighter on this one

PancakeBrah 07-21-2014 08:36 PM

incorrect.

Mike Wrecka 07-21-2014 08:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by El Pancake (Post 367122)
incorrect.

what if the chimp was wearing a muzzle?

uh-oh 07-21-2014 08:50 PM

chimp all day

cake, close thread

uh-oh 07-21-2014 08:51 PM

5 mma fighters

1 chimp

chimp wins

ALL FUCKING DAY

big baby 07-21-2014 08:51 PM

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TjQ4TtSu_N...himpanzee1.jpg

uh-oh 07-21-2014 08:51 PM

honestly i dont know if 30 could do it

can you even hurt a chimpanzee with human blows?

maybe 10 humans with machetes

uh-oh 07-21-2014 08:52 PM

mustachio has redeemed himself with that one pic. ive been trying to hate on you because you are an entity rather than a real person. but as a fellow human who has googled shaved chimpanzees/bald chimps you are now my homie

big baby 07-21-2014 08:54 PM

<3

Badweather 07-21-2014 08:54 PM

Chimp wins. Dumb question.

Mike Wrecka 07-21-2014 08:55 PM

sure chimps are impervious to anything a human can dish out


fucking bullshit


a Mike Tyson in his prime upper cut would put one to sleep

YDK 07-21-2014 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mike Wrecka (Post 367145)
sure chimps are impervious to anything a human can dish out


fucking bullshit


a Mike Tyson in his prime upper cut would put one to sleep

As long as that chimp ain't named evander holyfield

Srs chimps don't fight like humans so imma training against humans is useless. Do you have any idea how flexible a chimp is? An arm bar ain't gonna do shit lmao let alone that chimps fight other fuckin chimps...a chimp punch with their strength is a lot harder than a human punch. They're use to getting hit hard an use to mauling....any human would get mutilated in 2 seconds

uh-oh 07-21-2014 09:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mike Wrecka (Post 367145)
sure chimps are impervious to anything a human can dish out


fucking bullshit


a Mike Tyson in his prime upper cut would put one to sleep

he would get his fingers eaten off

then his genitals

a more proper question would be, if a chimpanzee was restrained and tied so it couldnt move, and mike tyson unleashed a hook of doom, would it knock the chimp out

that is something that im not sure of. i don't understand a chimps anatomy like that

but there skulls are thicker, and they have smaller brains

human faces aren't meant to be hit with force

chimpanzees fight eachother, and they pound eachother as well as grab/claw/bite

so they are kind of genetically engineered to take blows from other chimps

i think it would take a helluva lot to knock out a chimp

YDK 07-21-2014 09:03 PM

http://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-...umans-1379994/

namix 07-21-2014 09:07 PM

MMA fighter, because humans ought to be smart 'nuf to bring a gun to a chimp fight.

Zen 07-21-2014 09:07 PM

No human, idc how well trained they are would have the strength to lock in a submission on a chimp. Only hope would be to catch it with a punch, but they're chimps so they'll just evade you and rip your arm off and beat you with it.

PancakeBrah 07-21-2014 09:09 PM

Another factor not mentioned is the sheer aggression of the chimp when it goes into a combative state.

Even the best MMA fighter is still human, with human thoughts like doubt, anxiety, and stress. Peak MMA fighters may be able to suppress and avoid those thoughts/feelings better than anyone else but they're still there, in some form. As opposed to the chimp who is just going off pure instinct.

The chimp has no notion of fair. It's going to attack you and rip body parts off. With its face. We're domesticated animals. One moment of hesitation by the fighter is one more than the chimp will have.

Factor in strength and flexibility.

It's a wrap.

Witty 07-21-2014 09:13 PM

We are a pathetically weak species physically, our brains are the only thing keeping us on top of the food chain.


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