It's crazy I can't get a little feedback.. I'm saying.. I ain't near the best but can I get a lil feedback? I'll take the bad with the good.
 

A boss like mentality to fit my image
Cuz chicks is harder to come bi like chicks that's strict dick
But shit, if bitches
Would give a nigga a chance, they'd save the last dance, giving me big dick privlidge
A teddy bear with grizzly ways
Squeeze me, I'll sing Valentine tunes juiced off triple A's
Care bear with the hearts of these hoes squashed in a bowl
And made into sauce on the stove
The sauciest, hoe... Nigga with attitude
Looking for bitches the same with physical attributes
Y'all download pussy... Physical copies
- is what I get. Knock boots. Legs up - gynocology
I'm with the atrocity, try stopping me
A boy gon' be a boy 'less it's Scientology
- and you on some Jaden shit, going 'gainst biology
Quarter O, this his-story like biography.

Okay since you asked, I read this and found nothing memorable. There were attempts of cleverness and an attempt of a more feral style, but it came up as uninspired. And your last rhymes were very trite, all -ologies without any manipulation of complex schemes. So the content wasn't enjoyable for me, there's nothing that will make me remember oh this is Quarter O piece. The thing that you have going for more in this piece is the tone, a braggadocio swag, but even this comes off as novice. There also grammatical faults that could be improved upon by co-verbs and simple conjunctive rephrasing. As it stands now, this wasn't anything that is worth keeping. My biggest suggestion is to read some good writings here, and try to find what makes them good. And build on that, create a knowledge basis, this was too simplistic and uninspired.

fucak sucked thx fucka shut ^

I admit the ologies was a lazy move in my part. I feel like everything before that was original. People here feels like everything gotta be crazy complicated all the time. Not everything gotta be complex. That's a textcee way of thinking. I'm willing to bet that ON THE MIC I'll shit on the best textcee ya'll have on here. I'm almost certain niggas don't practice this MC shit 4real 4real.

Dead at how you beg for feedback then cry about it. The circle is complete

The 'squashed in a bowl' scheme was lightweight okay and 'nigga with attitude/physical attribute' rhyme was nice, very natural and perfectly synched up. The content missed me quite a bit. The bi chicks line was nonsensical and weird. The teddy bear motif was cringe-worthy. Most of the complaints UnbornBuddha laid out were pretty accurate; the ending rhyme scheme was very basic, entry-level stuff with no originality to buoy it. Also, this is the "Open Mic" forum. We have an audio section. The tired argument of 'i dumb it down; it would be doper than your shit in audio' is irrelevant. It's a text writing section so getting defensive and using that excuse doesn't cut it. The best writers here all have good 'flows' if you read their pieces aloud. They're able to do that with better content and more complex schemes than this. Which isn't to say this was capital BAD, it wasn't, but it was nondescript and a little bland to be a standout. I'd say crank up the complexity and give an extra thought towards originality. Thanks for the read!

Last time I feed any of your pieces. While its okay to disagree with the assertions I made, to condescend to those who give feedback is an aberration to gratitude. Especially when you stated in your title thread that you would take the bad and good. I thought there were many unpleasant things about the writing, so I said my opinion, which you asked of. And as for your contention that you would best anyone here in audio, I would love to show you the opposite. PM your skype details and we'll freestyle and I'll show you your contentions are mere delusions.

@PancakeBrah, perhaps it was a mistake, but if it wasn't you called me NYC and I am my own entity. I am not an alias of his, if that was a subtle allegation. If it was a mistake, its alright, I'm not a very prominent figure in this site, so its understandable if my identity is mistaken for another.

@UnbornBuddha sorry for the mistake; my post has now been edited. I realize you are a different entity and in future referential postings I will proceed with greater, dutiful, caution so as to not create any unnecessary confusion and to give you your proper regard in all matters textual thank you.

What a shitheel

You spelled privilege wrong.

When a mufucka got a bar that stretch longer than a las vegas strip you not gonna sit here and tell me that shit can flow in pocket with a beat. I don't care what you say. You can front all you want on this site. Just know in real life.. in the physical presence of a REAL open mic, you aint gonna turn heads. FLAT OUT.. That's all I'm saying. If any one of yall is defensive about that then I must be talking to you. Deep down it bothers your soul that your package was sent with poor delivery on UPS's part.

I'd post in the audio section but that place is dead and sometimes I'm not always accessible to a studio so I just wanna see what people think of the lyrics I just wrote but I see I wont get a accurate critique because, well, you cant hear how I spit it! I recognize the talent here as far as coming up with words. I'm just skeptical if yall can deliver that shit. I get ignored cuz I'm not talking like a arrogant London chap professor making statements that couldve been said with half the tired use of vocabulary.

I'll get skype on my phone right now and would love to show you what true spittin is about. I bet you dont even got the voice for this shit @UnbornBuddha

@UnbornBuddha

Skype: quarter_o

Get at me

yeah, you tell 'em.

Asks for feed on a below par piece, doesn't get the praise he wants, starts attacking people for their audio skills (which he has no idea about) in a forum designed specifically for writing.

There's always one.

Nobody is actually trying to be a rapper here, we are writers who like writing...your writing is average at best...rapping has nothing to do with the discussion.

Stfu and get better at writing or stop posting OMs and just record if that's what you want to do.

LMAO Im boutta blaze that nigga and anyone else of you lyrical secretaries

I feel like you're missing the point.

All talk I see. The more you flaunt others the more apparent it is that you are insecure in your writing and because you evade me it displays your boasts as fanciful and not based on reality. You would do good changing your ignoramus ways.

lolyikes

I hope your potential career as a rapper isn't what's keeping you from going full-time at Pizza Hut

cuz I got sum bad newz brah