dance
 

i'm

what the mirror reflects
when all your heroes are dead. forgive me. it's
my yearly regression. peering intensely
into bathtubs, sinkwater, seeking remembrance
weekly cleanses. blood of jericho, O jesus repent
salt in his sentences, ash in his fingers
garlic vinaigrette and salad for dinner, master pretender
novice authentic, bottom of the bottle for breakfast
lipstick collar your evidence, i'm lost for a second
found in a smokestack, gasping for air
life is always unfair, but that's an excuse. i'd rather we share
our personal shortages, our battles, our merits
celebrate our victories, acknowledge ourselves
our whats the matters, who cares, our whatever, it's fines
to quantify the ratios we measure us by
said our goodbyes on stairs we painted purple in Fall
i'm not unnerved, just feeling nervous is all
sweat in my palm. heart in my throat. talking in rotary
art in your jewelry. scars in your hosiery
i'm carbon and dopamine. i just want you to notice me
Jesus Mary and Josephine, asparagus, okra leaves
marry me openly. connect in every manner but socially
there's distance in space. our dynamic feels like Nasa promoted me
out in the open. starship collision our route
that mystery remains - we never figured it out
thats alright by all means if there's a light in the hallway
die like russian doll and live my life in a crawlspace
write me a song, my idols are gone, how do i mourn
for folks i only loved from afar. sorrows abstracted
we walked in borrowed jackets, bonsai gardens in tandem
communicate in tangents linked by all of our tragedies
part casualty, mostly survivor, lonely misguided
cold in crowded rooms and so emotional privately
soma delight, molting nightly, fleshy decay
putting pain on a pedestal like architectural remains
enter your framework. i'm a virus in heat
torn between a past and future out of our reach
as it is. half blitzed, full of passion and nicotine
language of love vs. mathematical symmetry
thats our predicament in a matter of moments
broke apart my rosary to shatter an omen
you're a word never spoken. gravestone dirt in my hand
throw it in the flames and watch us
dance





deadman

smooth

Get off his dick son, you follow him around way to often...

Well, seeing as me, you, and sinacog are the only ones who comment on open mics....lol

No I'm not on his dick just because I made 2 dead man verses

I don't tell you to get off Self's dick if you leave him a compliment on one of his pieces do I? No, because I'm a decent human being. You, however, have some complex where you must be an asshole to people. Have you left yet?

jeeezes...

This was almost as fire as a destroyer verse

@Destroyer

@Exis i thought you left bud. that was a pretty dramatic farewell thread you carefully crafted

'marry me openly. connect in every manner but socially
there's distance in space. our dynamic feels like Nasa promoted me'

this was pretty dope, the architect line was also pretty dope nice.

you always have good prose in your writtens, it's quite stylish and good. i enjoy it, and your flow and rhyme scheme is always on point. nice multi-syllabics and good rhyme scheme with flow..nice one. the topic is pretty cool, i do enjoy it..just a good written on relationship matters..it's pretty cool..I enjoyed it. I do enjoy your writtens, I see you have another OM which I'll read, but nice one man..keep writing..and keep dropping..lol..niice one..

I was gonna come back here and give you some more detailed feed but it would basically be me just picking out a bunch of phrases which rhyme well and that I thought were cool. Then I'd ask you did you really paint a stairway purple or was that just for a rhyme?

So I don't have any detailed feed; this will have to suffice:
And maybe if you feed one of Dragon, errr, Sinacog's verses he will stop posting so many

Ok here's something
art in your jewelry. scars in your hosiery
i'm carbon and dopamine. i just want you to notice me
Jesus Mary and Josephine, asparagus, okra leaves
marry me openly. connect in every manner but socially

To me that just looks like you're packing an extra line of rhymes. Like a sense of humor? Cuz you could really cut that third line I've quoted. Go straight from want you to notice me to marry me openly without talking about asparagus and okra leaves.

But granted now it looks like I'm really nitpicking because the verse is very good.

I have left bro...

@Pharaohs Army...Yeah I have issues man, my bad.