Round 1: 10. Zen vs. R. Orc \\ Orc wins 5-0
 

The Basics

Check-ins are required by Monday, Aug. 25 at 11:59 p.m. PT. If you don't check in, you will be replaced.

Verses are due Friday, Aug. 29 at 11:59 p.m. PT. THERE ARE NO EXTENSIONS.

Votes are due Sunday, Aug. 31 at 11:59 p.m. PT.

Four votes are required from each competitor. For each missing vote, one vote will be deducted. Post proof of voting here.

Verses may not exceed 10 lines. If the length of a writer's lines is called into question, the standard will be 15 words per line, and verses of more than 150 words will be disqualified or required to be shortened.

Standard writing and voting rules are in effect. No biting. No recycling. Votes must be explained. No editing verses after the first vote or the verses deadline. Any other issues will be resolved using Art of Writing League Season 3 rules as the basis.


Topic


Paranoid


Good luck, @Zen and @Orc.

Hopefully I'll wise up soon.
You know me, I can't lighten up, Jude.
Lonely and crying, fuck you.
But...I'm only trying to love you.
Fuck.
Don't leave me, you'll regret it.
For your old teacher Mr. Edwards.
Please, hold me! I'm pathetic.
I'm only keeping us together.
Hopelessly forever...

for better or worse.


four words dripping of relationships masked-
a memento of wasting a past with those too flagrant to pass
you & him. naked in Prague.
memories surface: a tomb encased in a glass
honeymoons spent sunbathing in grass, rum tasting & laughs
the pyres burning, fever pitch: evil bitch
no iron curtain, wounds ripped open and didn't leave a stitch
i'll probably drown- head swimming with ideas not logically sound
windows fogged, welcome to apologies town
cheating to cheat on a cheater isn't an anomaly now

I've got Orc winning this, Zen's verse seemed to be a no-show keyed up quickly IMHO - it had a little of his usual flare, but nothing anywhere near what I know him to be capable of. Orc's seemed like he put his down with the quickness too, but it still had more substance to it than Zen's even if it could have used a little more forethought behind some of the lines (apologies town etc IMHO)

Vote - Orc

Zens was cool little quick piece which was smooth with some flow. However that also kinda hurt you because since you didn't really write much you really didn't sa much either.. Orc your verse was cool some nice flow and multie well I really enjoyed your closing line thought it was really well worded and strong. Overall I enjoyed Zens piece but I felt Orc had more material and the overall better piece. Good job to both

Orc's verse featured a level of sophistication that Zen didn't really bring. It did feel like a no-show drop which is unfortunate because everyone knew there were reserves waiting. Orc's verse was deft, I really enjoyed it and it could've taken out a bunch of verses I've read so far. Nice stuff.

Vote for Orc

Zen had a very short piece but liked the fluidity of it. Orcs piece flowed smoothly and was easy to read/understand. liked the first half of his verse and the closing line. Good drop by both

V-Orc

when i first read zens i was like "Sick" great flow sick schemes. paranoid. yeah. then i read orc and he just crammed SO much more in his 10 lines. he matched zen flow wise which i didnt think would happen after reading his, and also just did more with the topic. took it a step further and was a bit less predictable with the story. also ending was dope about cheating and tying that into paranoid. good job both. but orc took this cause he just did more with it. zen was good but you coulda definitely made your lines longer and did a bit more with it

v-Orc