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Adonis 08-06-2019 12:54 AM

Quarter Finals Mag: Blink and Get Caught
 





~Quarter Finals Mag: Blink and Get Caught~
~Opening~


I'm pretty sure I worked harder than you did in order to reach a finals. So with that said, I hope you get a special battle with the real champ of this thing so I can prove that I'm not just your hero, but I'm also your idle. Come catch these hands, I'll be waiting. Leggo!!



~Feature Artist~Caleborate

Caleb Parker, better known by “Caleborate" is Southern Sacramento based artist. I stumbled across him not very long ago, and though he makes a fair amount of ‘dancey’ type songs I can’t really fuck with, he also makes good music that are less pop and more of pure emotion on beat. It’s almost like he’s singing shit he grew up with, flow wise, just holding on to it and awaiting to get it out in mere perfect timing. Speaking of timing, he’s not the most fluid, but has his own swag that really does ripple through the waves as evidenced by the next video posted. Caleborate at times gets into this fast paced lyrical and rhyme scheme that works or doesn’t, but for the most part, if you listen, you get to hear a kid going to work in a craft he actually is striving to perfect. He’s not known, and enjoyed, so def gets a feature here. I hope you all have enjoyed my few feature artists. One left, and though I have much more music to show you, the ones I selected are guys I think actually care about the art, thus, you know them now.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zz-oHog3qpc



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yyvd1qkhVqE




~Quarter Final Reviews~


Pharaohs Army is outclassed by Blue Bayou 5-0


Pharaoh’s Army - First stanza I had issues with, I believe I mentioned trying to match end rhyme syllables to you last round, and these are all uneven. All through out really, your timing was simply off. It made it more difficult to read in terms of flow. However, the story itself had amazing pace to it. You kept it natural in my eyes, vivid as well, you even touched on emotion. Concept wise, this was a straight forward narrative about some grunt workers right? The bottom of the totem poll, but we all have a job to do, “whoo-Raa”. Looking back on it now, I don’t think this is a good topic. It’s not as “wide-open” as I would’ve liked it to be, but I’m sure I would have found a way to spin it way left. I don’t want to berate you heavily, because as far as the actual read, it was fun and enjoyable. But this is not a story telling tournament, so I must say your schemes came off a bit rudimentary and your execution overall had a dip because of it.

Blue Bayou - I didn’t like the phrasing of “night times”, so that was a bib of a hiccup for me. I get why, because you multie rhymed next sentence, but that wording kind of struck me as odd. “I’m officially a murder no?” I assume theres a typo somewhere. Beyond that I caught onto a ton of schemes, “nationalistic agenda/complicit it renders/rips and dismembers”. But then you follow this up with “deceitful evils” which is just clunky to me. A bit redundant and clearly manufactured and less fluidity in the wording. I also noticed zero comas or “//“ any sort of transitional markers I guess, which I found funny given Lars’ critique last week. But I will add that a coma goes a long way in terms of keeping the reader on track with your flow. It helps us follow your guide, even though we naturally say shit with different timing, it basically keeps us on your pace. Prime example, “but not the soldier our kind aren’t awarded spoils”. A simple coma after ‘soldier’ gives this read a more natural feel to it. As far as the flow and pace go, I liked the couplets you were playing with, I do a similar A,AA bar format, though, with more aptitude, fukkin LOL I just bullshit all day at my jobsites, sorry, I’m playing, you beat me easily. I liked, but didn’t love the concept, though the ending of putting a soldiers head with CTE most likely, in a box, in a museum was a fitting final line. Conceptually you wrote about a soldier and really his hatred or disagreement with the government. He didn’t like having to kill and hunt for a cause that was not his own, he especially hated the fact that the profit on oil was not distributed amongst those who keep that oil under American control. I enjoyed the read, and loved reading it because of the scheme, but if I’m honest, once I sat down to analyze exactly what the verbiage and tenses and phrases were doing, I thought you executed a bit more like a battle rapper this week. Heavy schemes with actual meaning playing second fiddle. Solid read, just not something I won’t forget.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8dHAWTzD5SE



NYCSPITZ Eliminates Scar 4-0


Scar - Many people I’ve critiqued in the past well know my despise for multi sentenced rhymes in a single bar. What do I mean? The line break up between “bedroom with low” and “lighting glowing on the dresser”. You structured this as two lines but its a broken sentence really, just reads real clunky and always throws me off your fluidity. I don’t know if that translates, or if it’s common tongue from your parts, but whenever I come across lines like these I make a point to say something along the lines of…It kind of cheapens the flow because I can cut any sentence off at any given word and make it look like flow with the next line, but to me, they’re called end rhymes for a reason. This means each line is a complete sentence, what you did can work though, but IMO at a dismal 6% chance rate. But, that’s just me I guess. You were fairly descriptive though, I’ll give you that. Adding a bit a flare or imagery into this piece at opportune times. A story about a group of friends driving down a foggy cliff or mountainous road. The main character begs his friends to not go, they do and die, he lives while he stays home? I think that’s it anyways. I mean, the character does say “we” spun out, I guess he could be talking about his friends as ‘in his head’ ala schizophrenia? In any case, it’s safe to say the story was a bit tough in a literal sense. Due to either you not dropping enough hints or me being stupid, but I’ll take the former. So while I enjoyed the narrative and the actual rhythm in this verse, though far less poetic than last weeks and other works of yours I read, this was a fun read, I still feel like your produced sound work, just not elite. Nothing really jumped out at me and fully demanded my attention execution wise, it was all simply good, with minimal errors. But to reach the finals, especially dispatching the natural NYC, you really do have to come elite in some realm of the writing process. In this case, you chose to tell a story, which ironically is NYC’s forte, so with that said, good shit, but not good enough.

NYCSPITZ - Ooo, I’ve never seen anyone try and rhyme legendary and February, i don’t think it works, but A for effort, and A+ for learning me senescent. I gotta be honest, I’m part way through first read and I have noticed a few times where the end rhyme syllable count is off which is disturbing the fluidity with which I read. I say that with not much weight however, because as for the story telling itself, that shit is fluid and engaging. But a bit more time spent on structure would go a long way with you. “A brain like him” is one key example of a rare NYC awkward wording, so you know I had to say something. “Skin crawl to my edges” on the other hand, not the most sound, but I enjoyed that bit. I also liked how incorporated a bit a of gritty slang I.e “I slept one of them calm”, it brought out the New York in you I guess. The character and story telling was cool, a bit frantic in terms of reading, almost like a ‘Bourne Identity’ type movie. But I will continue to nit pick you sir, near the tale end when the assassin woke up, he only remembered his 12 kills, yet is envisioning his 13th kill whom is still alive??? Small details, but I like to point them out. I also don’t get why the main character is immortal. There were no other clues for me to attach him to an immortal character ala Dracula or Jesus I suppose, IDK, I can’t think of any immortal characters really. In any case, I suppose the guy he’s trying to kill is immortal, in which you should have named him Trump or someone lasting as to build up that finalè. As is, this was a very fast paced and fun read, it had action and twists in turns in terms of story telling coupled with a, OK, rhyme structure but the solid linear story telling all but masked the off rhymes you had in spots. This is not one of my favorites from you, and I feel like you may be lacking something currently that could get you that crown, but I can see you building upon this same style in the first two rounds in hopes of rounding out a pure story to beat a topical in the potential finals. This verse, just OK, but in terms of execution as a whole, above par in this tournament IMO, basically top 5-6ish verse out of possible 12. Still, you’re under your par in my eyes broseph, light that torch and get moving.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4y--XsqEq_I




Diablo Dismantles MMLP with ease, 5-0 BOTW!!


Diablo - You write about the stixx river a lot bro, I think I’ve picked up on it a handful of times, kind of weird. A Nessy's homagè, I can dig it. LOL at some of the ego lines, “I’m breathing new life into it” and “I’ll carry this place on my back”. I lol’d but if I’m honest, I feel like I’ve been carrying the brunt of the weight. I want no more than for someone else to run a solid tourney where I can focus solely on writing. But each winter or summer, nobody steps up really, so I do a tourney to keep the pen moving. But I digress, I loved this verse. It reminded me of a deadman verse, how you danced around the obvious using innuendos as the bait. You brought up some good points in not wanting to change old habits and newbies getting zero respect. Although you big up’d yourself a bit, you also slighted a few others, but I assume that was part of the goal. I personally hope NYC took this as a shot at himself to wake up the demon and have one of the greatest Semi-Finals match ups of all time. As far as this verse, you had many instances where you worded shit so precisely. A+ for using whippersnapper and Lime green in same bar. I can’t say you were only being pompous or condescending, because you had a few earnest bits in here as well. You spoke about the state of things and how the pond of artists is mainly stagnant and growing vegetation around it’s inactivity. You spoke about the not so inevitable extinction, how we need to come together and right the ship, per-say. All in all, you had my vote but already had won so I didn’t feel like piling on was needed. This was a fun read given the content, actually one of the more fun reads I can remember. I have this as the best verse of the week, and sad part is, I actually think MMLP dropped my 2nd Favorite though I’m yet to read Witty’s. Good shit though foreigner, looking forward to next rounds show-down.

MMLP - This was a very good verse, a straight old school topical, which I probably love more than the next guy, but a quick and vivid read to say the least. I know you said you hoped for more time to write or something of that nature, and I wish I could’ve gifted that. But the facts remain, this tourney has to run like clock work or the interest will rapidly be sucked out, and we all fail. So because I was a day late or half day late getting up topics, you guys suffered, but I did my best by guaranteeing everyone an ext. In any case, as far as this verse stylistically, anyone in any era would have a lower percentage chance at beating out Lars with this type of verse. It’s simply hard to write a long winded verse of this nature, and Lars usually comes with a fresh approach and pushing the line limit each time, but also adds flare into concept lines or under tones for the engaged reader to pick up on. Basically, you just chose the wrong week to write this style of verse. Against anyone else though, this style is a perfect fit to land a chunk of votes. I enjoyed your imagery, and think you could’ve fleshed it out a bit by maybe incorporating the fishes feelings toward humanity, maybe talking about floating trash or over fishing the ever dwindling population of brothers and sisters. Maybe added a nice line concept incorporating “school” somehow. You def had the availability in terms of content to spice up this verse, but as is, I fully loved the read. It was quick, concise, to the point. Good shit bro, I hope you pop in and vote, it’s going to be rough to get 4-5 votes in each thread, so every bit helps.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xP4iyYmAOkY



~No-Show Feed~



Witty
Topic

https://i.imgur.com/F46eeky.jpg


Firstly, let me begin with your concept in comparison to your topic. I see the boy behind bars, reading a book of colors, but how you came up with depression from that image I do not know. But once I read your verse, and title, I too felt that was the perfect fit for this verse. Near the second stanza you went classic Witness, that quick wit flow that keeps popping at a rate of like every 4-5 words. Nothing really in terms of multi layered syllable, but just a direct hit and keep moving, something you do best since maybe Ben Grimm from Bboys. This verse was so easy to read my friend, I would say after reading all verses, yours is in the running for 2nd best along with MMLP, both of which I loved, all the others, if I’m honest, were just good. I liked the build up in this verse too. That first stanza you got the point across above and beyond, this was a happy dude that had a vivid imagination and loved to read and just let his mind do it’s thing. I guess my one knock, I wish you gave a reason for his sudden depression. Through people I know, because i’ve never really been depressed, I understand that it could come from nothing really. Just an uncontrollable inconsolable mess of thoughts swimming and festering the brain and feels. You did this verse justice, and I will assume you wrote it in one sitting and this shit just poured out, because that’s how it read. A fluid and linear story that rolled off the page with ease, yes, with ease. You make this shit look simple my friend, stay woke.




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3OVQsxZkrMw


~Semi-Final Predictions~




Witty vs. Blue Bayou

Blue gets his first chance this tournament with a vet who will have time to write. This spells trouble if I’m honest. Blue has been dropping shorter verses and a mix and match in terms of polish. Witty is always polished and nearly always pushes the line limit. Blue will need to construct a rather witty concept in order to combat the narrative and fluidity that sir Witness drops so often. I know Blue wanted shorter line limits with competitors having to agree, but when we get this far in the game, things change. I will be honest here and say Blue actually has a chance because I do believe he can deliver a top notch concept piece. Couple that with the fact that witty at times can sort of shoot himself in the foot and well, theres a chance right. But if Witty drops like he has been this tourney, Blue will need to be at his all time best if he wants to get a single vote. Witty has easily been the 2nd most consistent this tournament behind only Lars in my eyes. So I’ll give him the edge, but never say never.

Witty 68%



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yk-cVHuUSNs




NYCSPITZ vs. Diablo BOTW

This easily could be the finals, and if I had hand picked every participants seeds, Lars would’ve got the #1 overall and NYC the #3 overall, so they wouldn’t have matched up until finals potentially. But I’m glad we get this match up for two reasons. One, I don’t get the sense that these two are very good friends, not that they hate each other, more so that they feel like the other is not as good and want to prove it. Stylistically i’m looking for a classic NYC narrative that moves with grace, not heavy on rhyme scheme or structure, just a simple narrative that glides down the brain. However, in order to match the nuance of Lars, I think NYC will need to spice up the verse a bit via individual line concepts or playful innuendos, maybe bring out some of that ancient knowledge and references of the days of past. I’ve noticed a lack of heavy rhyme scheme as well from you thus far, I do believe you will need to add a few instances of this in order to combat Lars’ all out assault which he typically brings. Diablo will def be dropping a long verse because he knows NYC will be doing the same. Lars will need to continue his course, meaning going off the beaten path conceptually, but executing said concept with a deft touch or use of allegory in a way that only he has been doing of late. This is my favorite match up of the entire tournament, and other than Diablo vs. deadman, this is the one I wanted to see most. I do think this could go either way, but I also feel like Diablo has just a slight advantage because his verses CAN be a tad more voter friendly.

Diablo 54%


Edit: I wrote this before sign-ins, and I'm changing my tune on not hating each other. This will be a slugfest, and I hope you both fail miserably.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dn6gxXMo7m0




~Outro~


2nd to last mag, 2nd to last match. To those that reach the Finals, this will be your final vote, so I hope you make it a good one. I think this tourney was a success with only a couple of no-shows to deadman and Lucipher, which is a shame but there loss. It’s been a long time since I gave out an actual tournament accomp, so, come get this like you want it.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dH-7NyYd6-8



@Witty @Pharaohs Army @Blue Bayou @Diablo @MMLP @Scar @NYCSPITZ

Diablo 08-06-2019 02:17 AM

LMAO NYC IS A FAGGOT

THAT IS ALL

Blue Bayou 08-06-2019 10:07 AM

Props for the time and effort

NYCSPITZ 08-06-2019 10:16 AM

Hi Adonis...Very dope mag...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diablo (Post 745618)
LMAO NYC IS A FAGGOT

THAT IS ALL

.......crickets....


.....bye

Aero 08-06-2019 11:17 AM

I wish Adonis would mod the Summer Classic. Maybe the Fall Brawl?

Diablo 08-06-2019 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NYCSPITZ (Post 745633)
Hi Adonis...Very dope mag...



.......crickets....


.....bye

post today?

NYCSPITZ 08-06-2019 02:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diablo (Post 745657)
post today?

Writing tonight...gonna be morning for you...bye...

Aero 08-06-2019 02:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NYCSPITZ (Post 745658)
Writing tonight...gonna be morning for you...bye...

Don’t let Lars try to rush you. Verses are due tomorrow.

Blue Bayou 08-06-2019 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aero (Post 745659)
Don’t let Lars try to rush you. Verses are due tomorrow.

This

Don't be Sly foxed

NYCSPITZ 08-06-2019 02:20 PM

I write whenever tf I feel like it lol... peanut gallery comments very unneeded...

Aero 08-06-2019 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NYCSPITZ (Post 745661)
I write whenever tf I feel like it lol... peanut gallery comments very unneeded...

Yea ok here you are like “I’m writing tonight sheesh it’ll be up by tomor morning at the latest.”

NYCSPITZ 08-06-2019 02:26 PM

It will likely be finished in 4 hours 17 minutes and 7 seconds @Lars

Blue Bayou 08-06-2019 02:35 PM

Gooone at this stone hand pussy in here trying to give back talk

Spitz if you wanna get rock em sock em it's not a problem

Diablo 08-06-2019 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NYCSPITZ (Post 745663)
It will likely be finished in 4 hours 17 minutes and 7 seconds @Lars

quoting u on that

NYCSPITZ 08-06-2019 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diablo (Post 745668)
quoting u on that

Aight well if I'm posting soon imma need a dick pic out of it. How big is your HARD DICK u lolworthy lil bitch ass nigga?

Witty 08-06-2019 06:12 PM

Let's not do this.

Scar 08-06-2019 07:41 PM

lulz there's gonna be a back story to this shit

Adonis 08-06-2019 08:25 PM

Fuck the mag. This is more entertaining

I'm ready to vote so hurry the fuck up. Someone better diss someone on the sly or I'm losing my shit

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aero (Post 745651)
I wish Adonis would mod the Summer Classic. Maybe the Fall Brawl?

I'm not a battle artist though, I wouldn't really know to grade verses or critique them honestly. You should hear me battle, it's not very good

Diablo 08-07-2019 01:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NYCSPITZ (Post 745673)
Aight well if I'm posting soon imma need a dick pic out of it. How big is your HARD DICK u lolworthy lil bitch ass nigga?

lmao there’s not enough “no homo”ing in the world could make this sound any less gay than it is

you’ve lost

Diablo 08-07-2019 05:34 PM

lmao okay, looks like tomorrow it is @NYCSPITZ


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