Writing tldr
 

I don't know if it's laziness or apathy, but there were times when I would spend an hour browsing the vocabulary in my memory for the perfect word. Or reworking the way a line was worded in order to fit a scheme. There was a net in the back of my head as I went through-out my day, scooping up concepts or phrases to be used later in a rhyme. Lately, I'll get an itch to write on a topic, but when I sit down to do it I find the task to be too challenging. I've forgotten the tricks and formulas that used to make punching out a verse as easy as breathing. That, and it just doesn't seem to matter much anymore. The rare moments when I do actually do something I deem worthy of posting, it's generally just rhyme schemes that I glue together with the semblance of meaning.

Thanks for sharing, asshole.

I choose to write nonsense & save up worthy lines for a topical if it fits with the concept at hand...every once in awhile they slip in the cypher or a random piece due to me being under the influence & when I see it the next day I just say fuuuuuu

That's how i feel about battling. I used to just go through my day and think of a flip for something i heard/seen/etc.

Eh, my brain doesn't work like that no more. I still think of ways to flip ideas but it's no where near as consistent. That was like 10+ years ago though

lmao so thats why you hate on me for my writing being so polished and my schemes being so tight

i get it now

you were taking out your personal problems with the fact you fell off out on me like a bitch unable to handle his feelings like a man

good luck with that pussy

Lol

lol

No. I meant what I said. I could write what you wrote in my sleep. I have higher standards ;)

lmao i dont discredit what you write though, you been dope with the pen

but you're still a faggot

That sucks dude

Relax and try again

I don't think you're top tier. Your OM piece was impressive if it had come from a high school junior, content wise. Scheming was okay, but the wording was lazy. Had nothing to do with my personal feelings.

This is the second time I've posted in a thread and you've had some bullshit to say in regards to me being honest. Are you trolling, or do you care that much about letting people know you think they're faggots for not hiding behind an ego?

Thanks, man. Life gets more complicated the older you get. Pinning those intri***ies poignantly becomes much more challenging than before I realized how complex they really were. I could write the things I used to write still, I think. Those things just don't feel worthy anymore.

I think that's what a lot of us do. I used to keep notebooks scribbled with concepts I heard, liked and wanted to expand on. It's a dedication to writing I don't put much into anymore. The time I feel it would take to flesh out these new thoughts on things seems daunting.

It's funny that creatively the things that end up produced only come from those who have the time to pursue them, or more often than not have put most everything else aside for. There's so much creativity left at the drawing board because of a lack of time, and it makes me wonder what's lurking in the creative mind of personality types who don't or can't put everything else aside. It's interesting to me how we only get certain things from people with certain traits because it's those traits that allow them to produce.

What's changed in those 10 years as far as why you're unable to do it the same way?

I don't think I ever realized how much I used to concentrate on writing. It was almost constant. It's artistic and changes your perception of the world around you. Since I've been unable to focus as much on the things that writing made me focus on I've been a much less interesting person, personally.

When was the last time you included psyliciban in your diet? Real question. You're already creative as a motherfucker. Just wondering how much you've dabbled with psychedelics. Ever entertained micro dosing lsd? I'm about to try it out. I've heard on many accounts that the results are pretty beneficial and amazing. Especially towards creativity.

Different strokes for different folks on this, man. I honestly feel I was more creative prior to ever smoking or drinking, which I didn't do until I was over 25. I never struggled with reaching that plain that I think most people who use hallucinogens are seeking out. Even weed tends to leave me too far out there.

Get a sketch pad and do some drawings... it'll challenge you in a different way and motivate your creativity.
Experiment with different pencils, try charcoals and white pencil over black, do quick stuff and then try slow stuff...

Shrooms are completely opposite then alcohol bro. You might reconnect with your true self. Watch a Terence McKenna lecture. Ever wonder why Santa Claus wears red and white and controls elves? I understand the different strokes shit, on the same hand, they make you take a deep hard look at yourself. They can unlock certain areas of you mind if used correctly. They are incredible teachers. Idk though. There are dimensions to reality. And they show you. Lsd hit me out of this universe on a full single hit. With micro dosing you split a hit in to 6-8. It's manageable I guess. Idk, it intrigues that hell outta me. Been drawing and coloring a lot lately. Give mckenna a try bro. Very interesting shit.

I can't rhyme anymore. Truth is, I ain't trying. I'm bored. It's hard to get better than perfect, stupid. My silence is more ruthless than when you're trying galore.

Or something like that. Idk. Wise is right though, substance abuse is a good substitute for a lack of creativity. When I'm sober, I overanalyze each line, but when I'm drunk enough I'm completely confident in my own bullshit.

The truth is we all fall out of rhythm at one point or another. I think up lines in my head all the time, but the actual process of writing it down and piecing it together is a chore to me these days. The good news is, nothing lasts forever, and writing will be fun again eventually.

i have my new self, but don't know it yet
still living in the past
10/31/16

The only time I enjoy what I write is when I am extremely critical of it during the writing process and nit pick over little things. I used to make all of my lines have exactly the same amount of syllables, and many think that is overkill and crushes creativity, but for me it gave me a border within which I could create. Now I struggle to care enough to do that.