MMLP(4-3) vs brokenhal0(2-5) - HALO WINS OPEN FOR FEED
 

chk

@MMLP @brokenhal0 you guys need an ext?

The sun overhead casted
peeling like a lemon with curd

walk faster as i enter the surf
wooden docks leavened in dirt

i should thank ya but its the end of the earth
final destination so lets pretend to be first

beyond perception with a slight hint of decay
follow the stones as the tides slipping away

some pillars need paint don't go in your bag
if you ain't getting a brush

the ebbing sediment wanes ghost of the past recede
like all the attention they gave watery graves
dusk bleeds away darkness not a star unseen

A sirens song mutes my highest screams
the rhythm reminded me of mermaids being flayed
back when i had those violent dreams

the shock will level your core learn to love others rather then settle the score
that's what walking this path is for enter the abyss the water is formed

sun no longer casting bloody amber's and lilac begonias
skin peeling feeling like dairy congealing in lime really im fine

More sand for the hour glass standing on the mantle of time
felt like hours until i reached the end of the line no land left behind

walking on water crossings are tied tape a kite to my pinky
forces arise at a distance all that was seen awkwardly flied

im here now lost in the ocean of truth im real now
creatures from the depths surface to show me some proof...





...

@MMLP

It's been 2 days past the ext date, so Halo takes the W open for feedback

This was probably the BEST verse I read from you this season Halo, really dope imagery and your vocabulary was off the chain. This was very well paced and played like a slideshow of memories, you had some awesome stuff here

"
the ebbing sediment wanes ghost of the past recede
like all the attention they gave watery graves
dusk bleeds away darkness not a star unseen

A sirens song mutes my highest screams
the rhythm reminded me of mermaids being flayed
back when i had those violent dreams'

Hoping you carry this style to playoffs! Good work

Poetry mate. Your choice of vocab and great use of imagery painted a picture of a man in some level of limbo reflecting on his life choices with vague regret. The rhyme scheme really popped at the start of the piece too. The philosophical musings demand a second read. I agree with Ad; this is the best verse I've seen from you. It's a shame it was against a no-show but quality is quality. Great stuff, keep on rising.