Netcees

Netcees (http://netcees.org/index.php)
-   GWL Archive (http://netcees.org/forumdisplay.php?f=291)
-   -   Master Rock(0-0) vs Pharaohs army(2-3) -ROCK WINS VIA NS (OPEN FOR FEED) (http://netcees.org/showthread.php?t=143694)

Inno 06-30-2020 09:59 PM

Master Rock(0-0) vs Pharaohs army(2-3) -ROCK WINS VIA NS (OPEN FOR FEED)
 
https://i.ibb.co/tXky91q/CBC664-C1-F...-CDDACB9-C.jpg
GUERRILLA WRITING LEAGUE

@Master Rock @Pharaohs Army

Max line: 30

Min: 10

Check in: 48 hours after thread post

DUE DATE: JULY 5th @ 11:59PM EST


https://i.imgur.com/l0QKe8u.jpg

GOOD LUCK

Master Rock 06-30-2020 11:10 PM

Check..

Pharaohs Army 06-30-2020 11:42 PM

check

Pharaohs Army 07-04-2020 08:09 PM

I already know I need a 24 Hr. Ext. please

Master Rock 07-05-2020 10:52 PM

Word.

Master Rock 07-06-2020 11:43 PM

Caught in this prison, my mind
trying to escape these bars
reading inbetween lines
I having illusions of shackles, that got me in a bind
dreaming of a time, can I travel so I can rewind?
reverse time, clash with a titan, cause Cronos to misaligned?
I look into the sky, searching for a sign
I'm trying to climb, but the weight keeps dragging me down,
my nails grasp for ground, blood trails surround
I feel like I suffocating, I don't want to drown
I am reaching for another round
hostage situation, Jeckle and hyde, mirror skitzo altercation
distorted hope, within myself, I cannot cope, slipknot, I feel the rope
flashes hit, echoes pit, ripples drip
while the past, present, and the future sit
stuck in my head, is life an internal conflict?
No, I love her, is she better off if I don't exist?
No, I contradict, slap myself until I go numb, the dumb dumb, in a conundrum,
I pacify with my thumb, back to the womb I come,
I didn't ask for this, I can't figure which way to go
I don't want your suggestions, I need a solution so,
I'm stronger than this, I can overcome when the darkness shifts,
I'm in control of my own thoughts, devil in the detail, I fought
stranglehold on the negative fraught, cutting ties intertwine,
sunshine, brighter days, the moment is where the pain stays, I'm beyond that drifting away.
The darkness will decay, follow the light is what they say, at the crossroads on to another day, I pray.

Adverse 07-10-2020 12:32 AM

Thought the beginning and ending were much too simple in terms of both rhyme and concept but think you shined towards the middle I know this probably isn't your best work since you knew you had a free W pretty early on but this mid-section was memorable to me good imagery, felt Eyedea-ish

while the past, present, and the future sit
stuck in my head, is life an internal conflict?
No, I love her, is she better off if I don't exist?
No, I contradict, slap myself until I go numb, the dumb dumb, in a conundrum,
I pacify with my thumb, back to the womb I come,

Decent stuff keep writing hope to see you in playoffs!

Johnny 6 feet 07-10-2020 08:32 AM

A dive into the darkness is something I appreciate as a writer, and you certainly managed to convey that here. I liked the imprisoned imagery you used in the first half of the piece. The opening lines set the tone nicely. Use of vocab was nothing fancy but it did the job well enough as was the rhyme scheme. You related to the picture strongly with an emotion evoking piece. I'm glad you signed up man. You're in the right place.


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:35 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2024 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.