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-   -   10,000 P.C.E. (http://netcees.org/showthread.php?t=140561)

ACTIVATE SELF 08-03-2019 01:18 PM

10,000 P.C.E.
 
There’s a ghost in the machine
It dwells inside the box
There’s “coding” on the screen
Of sigils and spells
A Ouija board of keys
Opens portals into Hell
Uploading entities
Think of H.P. with a Dell
Or Apple tempting Eve
“Please, take another byte”
Hissed a serpent named Steve
Who slithered through the leaf(s)
Of fiber optic trees
Corrupting ancient data
Deleting it with ease
Like “Generation Isis”
Computerized Eden
Generates a virus
(The “Genesis disease”)
Encrypted in the scripture
Encoded in a dream
The secret algorithm
The Oracle perceived

Objective 08-04-2019 05:38 PM

Dude, this was a fucking sick read. The metaphors and similies is unique and interesting, clever way of putting technology in perspective. This was definitely dope.

ACTIVATE SELF 08-06-2019 01:42 AM

Thanks bro. I appreciate that.

Exis 08-06-2019 11:39 PM

Raw as fuck...I've read this 12 times.

Eŋg 08-09-2019 02:41 PM

i liked this brother

big baby 08-10-2019 06:07 PM

sucked thx

ACTIVATE SELF 08-11-2019 08:48 PM

Glad everyone like it. Thanks for reading.

NYCSPITZ 08-11-2019 09:59 PM

This was nice. Bb is a troll. 10000 post computer era?

big baby 08-12-2019 11:10 PM

o haha

no bb rlly thanked it sucke thx?

no troll.


really fucka suck thx.


thx

PancakeBrah 08-15-2019 11:10 PM

Oh I get it it's puns about computers.

Deep.

PancakeBrah 08-15-2019 11:15 PM

Like when GZA did "Labels", released in 1995 (24 years ago), but with computers. Or when the 7th Grade teacher asks you to do alliteration. But, like, in a B+ term paper form. I dig it.

Geno 08-15-2019 11:17 PM

Fire my G. Foh shiggidy

PancakeBrah 08-15-2019 11:24 PM

All I do is write nonsensical non-rhyming paragraphs about vaguely remembered vaginas and Nicorette every 12 months when I'm drunk in the Open Mic Cypher then I delete them the next morning. This, is art. All of the lines are well measured, and pretty close to the same length in terms of Netcees message boards typeface. And there are double entendres. And its kind of like, computers vs. not-computers, in comparison WITHIN the double entendres. A serpent like Steve, is my favorite pun because it's just a descriptive bullshit line barely hanging onto the creative idea of the piece. And adding the (S) to leaf was a masterstroke. Instead of just saying leaf, which still rhymes (it's a more nuanced rhyme, I.M.O.) you let the reader know you know how plurality works (with a wink because its leaves but you know that haha!) but also let the reader know how the reader should read, which is necessary because you are smarter than the reader.

Let's break down a line

"The Oracle perceived"

The oracle is, like, a seer or something and was, like, revered, and what have you, during the old times.

Oracle is also a computer company.

Dope.

ACTIVATE SELF 08-16-2019 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NYCSPITZ (Post 745839)
This was nice. Bb is a troll. 10000 post computer era?

Personal Computer Era

Thanks for the read/feed ppl. Much appreciated.

SCRYPT 08-18-2019 10:55 AM

Fire. Nice Read

HollaFrontOG 08-25-2019 10:00 PM

Enjoyed the read. Like everyone else pointed out, the metaphors you kept up and stayed within your scheme, very nice and hard to do. Creative, each line had a purpose

ACTIVATE SELF 06-03-2023 01:01 PM

part II

…processing

Alice 06-23-2023 07:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ACTIVATE SELF (Post 835232)
part II

…processing

Self!! Hope you’re good. Great read of course. Looking forward to the continuation


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