dead man, chicken soup
 

will you

ask me a question so
i can tell you a lie. let me inside, please
sell me your silence.
keep it quiet as kept. privately wept
laughing in public, grasping for something - step closer, red rover
these games we played as children would eventually mold us.
our father tried his best to keep a smile on our face
with contentment on a trial-only basis. simple minds
complex arrangements. transformative our metaphase
everlasting ever-changing. sleepy calm, i'm better anxious
Excedrin every 7am. red X on the destination
settled in dissension, honey jameson and echinacea
metal chambers - ready, aim. then left it to chance
hell is a paradise, heaven a casting call for devils who act
like classic westerns measure a man. revolver barrel. ready your hand
target acquired. lusting bloodshed like an author inspired
to carve his denial. black marker reprisal. graf in the hall, please
draw me a smile in 5 whenever action is called
lacquer in walkways smell the acetone drip
i'm a man alone in stereo like gramophone clicks
battle-broken. sad composer cracking a fifth
blackstone barricade break back into brick. it happens in instants
that which years were invested, piercing perceptive
you knew inside a moment i was seriously fucked
deer in the headrest. pure adrenaline. sabotage friendships
puddle splash our photographs and all of their negatives
we're amethyst and ruby slash dilapidated rooves
nostalgic for a mood like sipping Cambells chicken soup
hammer-fist my stanza pattern analytic fool
academic half-inventive / halfway in a tomb
statuesque idolatry like pillars and pulpits, Religulous troupes
submit misinformation praise attention and views
send me to Jupiter i've been intending to move
yet stayed where comfort held me close, domestic abuse
how i've leaned into YOU for all my deeper reflection
feet at the edge. cliffside constantly we're seeking remembrance
easing tension. drifting on a sea of regret
weak as an infant. forgive me i've been thinking too much
breathing gaslight epitaphs for nobody but
a selfish vindication 7 years in advance
hoping it can guide me towards a feeling that lasts
catch me covered in corpses. drunk at 1 in the morning
confusing lust for love and writing nothing important
subtle contortive phrase amorphous slave to this force
our pain is gorgeous. praying for torture. please
hate
me
even
more


thank you

i dont get how no one is commenting on this shit yet.

lacquer in walkways smell the acetone drip
i'm a man alone in stereo like gramophone clicks
battle-broken. sad composer cracking a fifth
blackstone barricade break back into brick. it happens in instants

loved this. i'm always impressed when people can do this style

puddle splash our photographs and all of their negatives

this obviously wasnt the only line that did this for me but your imagery throughout this whole thing was impressive like always

hammer-fist my stanza pattern analytic fool
academic half-inventive / halfway in a tomb


super smooth

catch me covered in corpses. drunk at 1 in the morning
confusing lust for love and writing nothing important
subtle contortive phrase amorphous slave to this force

that shit was fire. i really dont know how you do it dude. maybe i feel like we have an understanding bc i relate, and i dont even have to know the specific person you're talking about. maybe i'm not as quick-witted and deep as the rest of the true writers here to figure it out, but i can relate and i find it honest. honest writing is art. period. thanks for always coming real with it. truly gifted

thank you bodey

blackstone barricade break back into brick.

Say that 5X fast dead man!

i think i like it more when you start writing with less of a focus on the stanzas you want to overlap within each other, and more when you start speaking to the audience like a story is being told in live action rather than something happened awhile ago, like, you're telling your side of the story but you still want to explain your feelings and why you thought the way you did and why you reacted and felt the way you did in those instants. And so forth.

You catching my drift? It's really cool, because then, there less pauses, and the pauses created are observably more organic rather than situational material that pauses intentionally.

Pause and go, stop and continue.