Netcees

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-   -   leukocyte (http://netcees.org/showthread.php?t=140533)

big baby 07-25-2019 10:20 PM

leukocyte
 
he’s

sitting in his shadow
match lit. iron sight shifting with his arrow
da vinci with a trebuchet.
resentment at a younger age
don’t think i’ve ever fucking been the same
stay still please, so i don’t have to ever aim.
heartbeat on my cabernet, gospel on the interlude
never into hurting you; but that’s probably hurting you
want to hear you love me, but that’s my crawling incertitude
I’m sorry. you’ve heard it… too… many times
loose lips sink ships on the new delhi line
blueberry, thyme, seattle fog on the bloomsbury dime
anxiety finds a new adversary for you every time
kavinsky playing nightcall
nightfall addict. gun-slinging, moonlight absorber
eyeball static, upbringing made me too primed for torture
leukocyte warlord with a do-or-die sword code
DNA punching out morse, cause the nuclei’s disordered
sobering negative. gripping a metal shank alloy.
overly sensitive programming on this self aware android
therapists that call me the armchair nutcase
trying to turn back to bugged versions of his software update
i stop to stare into your eyes, perfect, oval shaped opals, like russian dolls holding more jewels in them like an enigmatic invention
a hundred soft, hazel static connections, like joules that gather intent, that teach me there aren’t lessons in every traumatic event

Scar 07-25-2019 11:19 PM

i've read a few of your verses. the pathos of your pen is so fuckin enviable. hope you write more my man.

Quote:

never into hurting you; but that’s probably hurting you
want to hear you love me, but that’s my crawling incertitude
so real.

dead man 08-13-2019 12:06 AM

a hundred soft, hazel static connections, like joules that gather intent

this was so fucking good to me

"never into hurting you; but that’s probably hurting you
want to hear you love me, but that’s my crawling incertitude
I’m sorry. you’ve heard it… too… many times
loose lips sink ships on the new delhi line"
excellent. sometimes i feel like everything ive done, ive done... too many times. usually it means we're on the precipice of a give. this flashed me into my overly rhetorical writing style, my aphorism and my doldrums alike. super sharp.

overly sensitive programming on this self aware android
therapists that call me the armchair nutcase
trying to turn back to bugged versions of his software update

clever. interesting rhymework as well here, for what it's worth


thanks, as always

Mr. J 08-27-2019 02:29 PM

Your vocab usage is usually on point bb
This has some dope wording and scheming to it.
Smooth transitioning from spot to spot.
Some of the better work I've stumbled across so far.
Nicely done

Pharaohs Army 09-19-2019 01:14 AM

very stuck on making any sort of big baby imitation verse.
don't know if i can do it. we shall see. hopefully within a few weeks.
i guess you can take that as a compliment.
i disagree with the tagger i don't think you're a dead man wannabe. there are hints of his style but you definitely have a unique style and phraseology.

PancakeBrah 09-27-2019 11:14 PM

"stay still please, so i don’t have to ever aim.
heartbeat on my cabernet, gospel on the interlude
never into hurting you; but that’s probably hurting you
want to hear you love me, but that’s my crawling incertitude
I’m sorry. you’ve heard it… too…"

http://is2.4chan.org/gif/1569206707606.gif


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