WEEK 1: Rusty Gunz Vs. UPN Zuch (RUSTY WINS 3-2)
 

Rules

1 bar minimum 2 bar max per post

Bar(s) must reference your opponent's, either directly or indirectly
(excluding the first bar(s) posted in the battle, obv)

DO NOT post twice in a row

There is NO restriction on how quickly you can respond once your opponent has posted
(failure to respond within 24 hours of your opponent will result in a DQ)

Battle will close Sunday at 12EST

Voting

Judges, if you wish to vote on this battle even if it wasn't assigned to you then do so in the thread after the deadline of Sunday at 12EST.
Everyone else may vote in the thread after the deadline (Sunday 12EST). Community votes must be won by 2 if the total vote count is under 5.

@UPN Zuch you're up first. You have 24 hours from the time this thread was posted.

Do me a favor and @ your opponent each time you post. Good luck.

Idk who the fuck you are, but...


Word around town? Well, You’re a fag to start with
Sex life is Brooks Brothers, you service nothing but guys in that department
Got you on life support due to what my bullets tore through
Doctor will put the plug in your family’s hands, and trust me they’re gonna be pulling for you

@~RustyGunZ~

Put 10 out the 9 in ya, disposed in a marsh for the gators to start chompin
They'll be pulling pieces out the brook, brother.. n this aint no rack shoppin
Stop talm bout the streets cuzzz, u aint end a life or got cred
The only time you ever pulled a plug your coke dealer got grabbed up by the feds

Wonder how he got pinched, every cop knows this faggot will talk
Seth a Ouija board, they just push him around in a dark room til they get the answers they want
So consider it a blessing, Zuch here to fix the deception
My guy, this tool will give you a facelift so quick you can forget about witness protection

You not a G, you dying when red dots come out is a positive not a probably
Fuck the feds, when I catch ya in a dark room the beam will expose ya like analog photography

LMAOOO you’ve never had a beam, why even step to the king?
Last time you broke out some red dots your girl bought you the wrong eczema cream

LOL concepts left back when Frac still won battles. You’re really the worst son
The last time you’d get away with a red dot/pimple bar you just woke up with your first one
And Jamie saw that shit and told you it sucked, would never hang above cribs
Last time your girl got the wrong cream you ended up raising another mans kid

At least my bitch faithful...


Your girl a slut, she even writes me loving sonnets
That snatch was such an easy spread Resin tried to put some money on it
Fucked her doggy thousands of times bro, no fake claims
And trust me, that tramp stamp ain’t faded, I just got great aim

These the bars 06! A loser then and a loser now. A bartender with no drive or hustle
Your family hasn’t seen an easy spread in years.. putting food on the tables always a struggle
Dead ass Jamie getting raw dogged to foot your bills. That’s at least one thing you miss
What a retarded idea. Did she tell you cum caused chemical burns when she said she got pregnant from a kiss?

Don’t talk to me about money, your guap’s diminished
Paying your bills always comes down to the wire, and whether or not it has copper in it
Jesus your bars are STRETCHED, voters can’t stand to be waiting
Long ass response without making your point, it’s like I’m battling Jamie

Gone. Bro I’m a STEM master, literal SCIENTIST. You make pennies shaking martinis
Talking about bills coming down to the wire was natural, moms gotta western union u for formula weekly
This back n forth will have you ready for sibling rivalry, it’ll be wild my friend
Cus last time you battled Jamie she revenge fucked the father of your child again

More Jamie I see...

I’ll continue to execute punches perfectly, fans are glad to sit courtside
They want to watch you execute yours as well, but with Potassium Chloride

This shit aint even a rebuttal lmaoo this ain’t no cypher league you uncreative bish

Fans?! Look at that mug u hasntbeen, rapey nigga that was never able
The only court side anyyone ever sitting at for you is behind the defendants table

The “only courtside anyone ever sitting at you for”

What are you saying? Your grammar is breaking down.

Yeah I spend a lot of time in court...

And you ain’t quite worthy, meanwhile they wanna hang my jersey
I’ll hang your fat ass in public, get indicted, represent myself then hang the jury
Yeah it’s true I’ve done time, and it’s a fact I might do more
I’m at court intimidating the witness
you get witnessed going through the trash at a food court

Talk about wordy

You talk too much for an unemployed bartender, life’s something you’ve never won
If I’m going through trash at any food court I had to make it past you to get my number 1

Consensus

Zuch was superior with his wording here, to no one's surprise, really. He's
built his reputation on his consistency and technical writing ability. He also
had a distinct edge in the few lines of the battle that felt like borderline generics.

"From a wording perspective, he was significantly better, both with
respect to being more concise and utilizing multi’s more"

The entire hang the jury sequence from Zuch was an excellent example of
how to flip concepts and turn them into great ones of your own.
Unfortunately, more judges felt that Seth did this on a more consistent basis.

"Zuch had a tendency to reference the previous line(s) only in his next
direct setup, and didn’t really lead the rebuttals into any flips or anything"

The personal aspect of Seth's attacks tipped the scales just enough to
give him a razor thin edge here. One judge commented on the possibility
that Zuch didn't know who Seth was with his first lines and it putting him in
an early hole.

Verdict

2 judges felt Zuch took it easily, while 3 had Seth with a very slight advantage.

3-2 Rusty wins