we've been here before
 

there's a..

red dwarf fighting a black-hole ready to eat me
dissect the inside of my pen, where ash grows tethered beneath
the mass knows, the malice that backhands this skeleton species
youll find remnants of relic of this deeply defined, delicate e.t.
cavalier lifestyle, the atmosphere. where sadness smears nice smiles
in half a year, went from happy tears to having fear light fires
almost perverted with how unconcerned I’ve grown as a man
flirt with death. skeleton slow dance. holding his hands
smile so they see it, hold smog in my lungs
breathe it out. smoke clears. Simon de Beauvoir
polished the earth that you stand on, apologies worth
sleep paralysis, demon passage. toss and you turn
your most perfected distraction. go on as you were
cause I’ll never be anyone’s anything or something deserved
just a deserted desert. destructive. berserk
deconstruct me to dirt, I’m your diversionary malpractice
inadvertent adversaries off these Shakespearean actions
the never intended directors cut. a roll of film wasted
the point of this, is concave. an oil drill placement.
boiled blood painted roses, and the soil in my bones’ clay
another day, another doctrine. shooting in my two cents
living tooth an nail through this truth is hell nuisance
it’s malnutrition. can’t help be hopeful for sanity’s sake
where vanity takes a backseat to this passionate fate
if it’s real, then it’ll never be over
tell that to the bartender that’s mixing my gin and my soda
debonair devil. gallant gentleman
savor the cobra conection
tuxedo to the morgue. I regret your intentions
tailor made bowtie, rose colored coated inflection
stared into space. untie your fingers with mine under sheets
lower our voices. silence is the most powerful scream
poignant as the cotton ripples forming through comforter spread
where dozens of sins lie underneath ruptures of thread
droplets of wine cover cream satiny fiber
cabernet fire. carmine cobblestone twine
sit at the logged inferno. untucked collared shirt in regression
how much warmth we made over embers we directed
we fucked here before. fingerprints on the glass
commanded the sun, as the wick melted the wax
shot arrows of love with an Aries through summer
under cancers’ July over candlelit colors
nirvana doesnt exist in this squander of thought if you arent elected
the devil wears prada its because you modeled for them
this is just misjudgment of honest broads. a cautious indifference
treating genuine women with impartial disinterest
devilish debonair, cavalier distinction
hemisphere changes with its Australis emissions
so now i stare at the stars. i hate that im this
paint constellations with apathetic detachment
atmospheric phenomenon, in hindsight it was madness
so now we wait
wait for the skies to rip limelight while i cascade into blackness
damn it


BB

I mean.... you're the GOAT for a reason.

Whatever I may think of you personally, somehow you polish your toddler-troll-babble (from discussion boarding)... and then polish it up on the Open Mic.. Into pieces of beauty.. much like my slept-on topical collaboration. High level rhymes sir. Continue onward, on this journey of life.. I must ask you: where you find the next challenge?? When writing no longer lights the fire (as often), because we've already been there. done that.?
this verse.. u mind as well troll around for the rest of the year without dropping anything else - it has that cred. it least in my book

p.s. sckd thakns

Fantastic

This might be the first piece I actually feed this year

BB this was great. Had hints of existential crisis with a redemptive quality to its darkness. I also found your usage and repetition of 'cavalier' intriguing.

Please bless us with more okay.

Need to use the words coffee and autumnall for true ART

This was cool

This was fucking insane.

Honestly one of the best OMs I've read in a long time.

this was good but it sounds too much like black D. Anybody with an IQ over 120 can look at another artist and copy styles. I need like 2 or 3 more stylistic differences to see this as your own material.

JMO

I mean, there a multiple touchstones that make this read like some subtle subversive parody of dead man. The specific use of periods leading into sentences that are just referential noun sentences. The formatting. The use of 'and'. I don't think it's an outright satire, although I did at first. But it's definitely not a pure big baby thought, in verse. Or if it is, it's something different than I'm used to. The writing was, as usual, top notch. As a stylist you're the best the site has. No one, besides your cadre of (ALIASES!? HOW DOES THE RABBET HOLEZ GO122!) associates, can match your output of technical rhyme skill while carrying a point. IS THIS THE SACRED SIMULACRUM THAT I'VE HEARD WORD OF!? You should work towards writing a verse without some universe phenomenon. We understand all about supernovae at this point, I think. I guess I'm meandering around real feed because I'm not sure if this is a 'serious' (lol) bb work, or some practical joke worked to perfect execution. As a piece of writing, to netcees' open mic standards, it's obviously fantastic. So that's all you need, really. Keep on lasering. Thanks for the read!

i don't necessarily agree with or condone the popular opinion that this was meant to be some parody or mockery of something i would write. whether or not you meant this to be that, i guess only you know. i know you're a master chameleon and are able to take on the stylistics of any given writer here if you want to. some people say it's cheap and simple but i believe the opposite. it may be easy to do, but it's extremely difficult to do well.

as for the work at hand - it was, in a word, extremely refreshing. i always loved the character you present through your serious writing. it's easy to get lost in your comedy and forget your true colors. a glimpse into your creative self is priceless.

that being said, i wasn't crazy about how this began. it gained traction slowly. you, like the rest of us that are sort of emerging from the woodwork suddenly, have a layer of decay you need to cut through after a hiatus.

you give us these segments of flashy images - boiled blood painted roses, bone's clay, the bartender mixing your drink. a roll of film, never meant to develop. i mean, that's something really worth picking apart. i have a kodak camera sitting somewhere from 2010. i don't remember exactly what's on it, but it doesn't matter. for now, they are nothing. a secret in plastic casing. and maybe that's where it should stay. to think about a photograph. a moment, a story, a memory, a secret.. only exposed when the film is. how many lives are rearranged by the film we develop? the secrets we expose. the lies we tell, or the truths. maybe we were never meant to show up. but we're here nonetheless.

sometimes i think about what you said to me, must have been close to a few years back now, about how we have expressed thoughts that the other innately feels, but does not have the words to say. or something to that effect. i keep it in mind reading your work always because i love to imagine a resonance between this strange niche of writers here. we all live separate, vastly different lives in different places, know basically nothing about eachother, but all converge at this one very humanistic point. i love it. and truth be told, miss the feeling it used to give me. maybe that's stupid. but again, here we are.

"we've been here before"

this made me miss somebody i don't know anymore.

i loved fingerprints on the glass. really good.

i guess i can only hope you continue to submit your creative self to the board so we have the privilege of reading it.


thanks.

lol @ giving props to an insecure girl who copies your style...character move

that's why I fuck with u my wigga...

The first thing that grabs me is the Atmosphere line.

then "Almost perverted with how unconcerned I've grown as a man". Before I talk about this directly, I wanna say that this was great for breaking down the fourth wall-- there is a strong vein of substance concealed within your witticisms. I feel like this line is a crux of great many things in your writing; the page is the place where your past reflections, your self-image, and your commentary on the status quo blend together in a vibrant bokeh that highlights something entirely exterior to these things.

Continuing on this thought, I really feel the piece (and your writing in general) is an appeal to the reader to try to discover what you truly care about. Poetically playing hard to get. The aforementioned line speaks to self-awareness of your detachment and therefore hints at the presence of true cares and desires. On a superficial level, art is pure portrayal and we are unable to separate the piece from the creator's artistic vision. Focus and perspective within a piece can relate much to the viewer about the artist, but there is so much that is implied or inferred. However, as in literature and as in the context of this site, we may become familiar with artists and their canon and begin to discern between what the project and what they are at their core

Anyways, moving forward.
The roll of film wasted/ oil drill placement was a fantastic couplet. I agree with Dead Man's interpretation

"I regret your intention" is a great quotable.
My favorite section. Like a nice scotch, it is so easy to drink in eloquent wording but few appreciate the base notes and highlights as they sift through their teeth. Not the most complicated, most original, or the most loudly unique section-- but the imagery and tone mesh perfectly and the writing is simple but carefully wrought


Unsure of the significance of the "debonair devil"//"devilish debonair" inversion, if any, unless it's reinforcing the devil/ demon motif

I think my only complaint is that it seemed like a conclusion wasn't fully realized or that you lost steam in the final stretch.


Really good

The thing that sticks out to me is the self-deprecation. It adds a level of darkness to the tone that really sets it apart. It sounds, to me, like this is your twisted view of "the chase." Locations, the aphrodisiacs involved, communicative nuances, and other elements of searching for love were painted with colorful language and brooding descriptors. Very well written. Thank you.,

i wanted to say

sucked, thx

but it was way too long so i didn't read.

will read and edit when i have an hour or 2 to waste

hows hollandaise?