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-   -   WRITE WEEk #5 !!!!! come one come ALL! (http://netcees.org/showthread.php?t=125682)

Geno 08-03-2017 09:17 PM

WRITE WEEk #5 !!!!! come one come ALL!
 
[IMG]https://s-media-***he-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/02/90/07/029007c53149d9ff130d579450c27af9--jackson-pollock-ink-drawings.jpg[/IMG]

Deadline: 11:59 P.M. Pacific, Thursday 8/10
16 line max, one entry per person.
Winner receives an accomplishment.
Based on original content, flow, rhyme complexity, and relation to the subject.

voting will begin after deadline and last until sunday night. I ask that everyone who participates also votes, in someone other than yourself of course. as long as enough votes are in to claim a winner. otherwise arrangements will be made for more votes.

dead man 08-03-2017 10:16 PM

they


demanded a body. an effigy or
a restitution, settling scores, bicentennial war
sentimental in form. elemental reform
smoke on the water. plucking on the ribs of a corpse
village disorder. dragonflies the size of a crow
it's an honor in our father's eyes to die here alone.
we don't volunteer as tribute. we resign to our post
playing our position in a timeless revolt
flamelick taste umami the flesh. no coffin to rest
the earth, our crematorium. our bodies a vessel
mason jar meat puppets here to service a cause
screaming bloodsoak burning for god. crooning their songs
you've been fooled, pain awakening, a beacon of truth
branch crackle skin melt marrowy soup. just me and you.
heal me. clean me. save me from this selfish pursuit
ashcloud phantom raise me up. Nirvana. rebuke.


dead man

Vulgar 08-03-2017 10:27 PM

Rally

Soldiers ride in barrels, hairstyles wily but mostly high and narrow
Insomniacs with spears and a penchant for fire arrows
The war starred the warden's winter garden Winthorpan corporals
Horned enforcements, marching up north with their storm-warbled work-kits
Peasants and the poorest armed in bronze gear they'd rented from a fortress
carrying flags the color of a peach, Norsemen's orchards they'd never be
The battlefield fruitless, rows of men, growing thin, who'd seldom speak
Lemon-seeds and metal siege the mellow meadow's melamine
Shattered shields from shallot steel, peeling onions into several ribbons
Grenadiers salivate at the coward king as pellet-ridden (Phalladine's perplexed & limping)
the frontline a drenched palimpsest - busted open that chest full of pinpricks
explosive bundles where the dead lay slain, choked and huddled
Is that scorpion-black firewood or limbs petrified in a hopeless struggle?
Charlemagne must've vomited ninja stars all over the floor
now tell him his soul isn't pure...
Diplomacy's crucifix has four points: de facto, de jure, and decapitated couture.

trapezoidal 08-04-2017 02:51 PM

juxtaposed in diminutive hues
a portrait of bordeaux in a primative view
scar tissue depicts a limited cue
a hodgepodge of mismatched emotions
charred and bruised
harmed and used
depart from me chart a course towards what remains
engulfed in flames
the sparks from chains - wisdom imbues
a guiding light through primitive colours
embittered, but covered
in the cloak of darkness with a limited view
our mission, to choose
simple or complex
the images in context
reflect the sinister prose from a intricate pose
in bloom

sral 08-07-2017 01:01 PM

I'm past the point of no return.
His masters voice an overture of rasping noise that goes unheard
- yet has destroyed the oh-so-perfect
Catholic boy that most preferred.
This static void I know for certain
has shadows poised to show no mercy,
his anger boils below the surface.
The paranoias growing worse.
I'm past the point of no return.
It's talons hoist the lowly worm, maladroitly thrown from earth,
who has no choice but slowly squirm
as fangs are poised to go to work
packed with poison so perverse
the alkaloids evoking nervous spasm coiling motions further,
past the point of no return.

MMLP 08-08-2017 09:53 AM

Pulsating veins in my neck exhibits I’m heartless.
My patience suppressed whilst envisioning arson.
A depiction of darkness casting over the canvas,
as the wicked incarnate has arose from the ashes.
As control is now vanquished so we make our ascent.
We proposed to the masses that our reign had commenced
with a taste for revenge were thirsty for blood.
Their sweet painful expressions as the furnace erupts.
When the surface above is engulfed in flames.
So I sternly instruct them more of the same.
In a compulsive rage I start arming recruits,
I become impatient as the carnage ensued.
Suddenly, discharged from the group, forced to surrender now.
In a bargaining mood I couldn’t mess around,
throwing weapons out because I have to withdraw!
Hearing, “ok kids, pencils down, show the class what you’ve drawn”

Certain 08-09-2017 07:06 PM

The condition is apocalyptic images. A prism into phobia
of the coming end that never comes. We drum our fears
into a living, breathing onus on our sanity, as nothing nears,
and monsters evacuate from under bed before mother peers.
The dumb adhere to clumsy metaphor and unctuous tears
because they can’t motivate themselves to do something real.
That’s called Fear of God. You see, these feckless bitches
need a reason for existing, while I’m wishing that they didn’t.

Zen 08-09-2017 11:36 PM

Smiles mean nothing
and laughter’s fake.
Money can’t buy happiness,
but I’m only asking for shade.

Palm trees, beach,
sunset -
outside.
Lock the doors.
Shut up
and hide.

Money can’t buy happiness.
Strive for nothing,
and die.

Geno 08-11-2017 02:46 PM

Alright... Voting time.
Hooefully by sunday well have a winner.
Dope verse people. Sick
Gonna be tough to call. Ill drop my vite in a while. Pretty sure i know who i have alrwady.

VOTE UP!!!

trapezoidal 08-13-2017 02:45 PM

dead man.

if anyone needs a reason, i'll edit it in.
too damn old for explanations anymore, lol.

sral 08-13-2017 02:58 PM

dead man for me as well personally here

Eŋg 08-13-2017 09:37 PM

certain.

they were all good, though.

MMLP 08-14-2017 08:24 AM

ive got Certain here

Geno 08-14-2017 09:51 AM

This shit was a toss up for me. Between.. @dead man and @MMLP

Deadman almost made you not even wanna come in here and flex at all after that display of brilliance.

Deadman with the style i fucks with sooo heavy. I mean. Tbh, as ive said before. Part of his style has been ripped as well as a few other cats over the years ive fuckes with the hardest to devolp my own style. So i always fucks with his shit..

I think with @MMLP though.. He came in this shit so freah. Ive never really read anything from the guy other than this i think.. And i litterally was like holy fuck when i read them closing lines. That sealed it for me

Voting 4 @ MMLP
I got this going either way tho for real. Allthough i see a couple big certain votes in early already. Lol dope ass write week everyone.
Thanks for participating!!!

@Pent uP. Get that vote in please. We need you in here. I got you on any favor in return. Holla

Dope girl 08-14-2017 11:17 AM

This is tuff cuz all so good
but Certain get this

Zen 08-15-2017 12:59 AM

I've got dead man on this one.

Geno 08-15-2017 01:15 PM

dead man with 3 votes
certain with 3 votes
MMLP with 1 vote

we need more
7 votes so far and not even eberyone who participated has voted yet. i can understand dead man and certain falling back from voting since they neck and neck at this point.



everyone else get in here though
@Mr. J @Pent uP @Rugged
@other cats i know will give a decent vote


get in here

Vulgar 08-15-2017 07:30 PM

MMLP for me. Good work all.

Pinot Grij 08-16-2017 10:27 AM

Dead Man -- expert rhyme skill. Mesmerizing.
Vulgar -- offbeat storytelling. A style all his own.
trapezoidal -- beautifully crafted minimalism.
Lars -- intoxicating rhyme abilities although seemed off in flow at moments.
MMLP -- immersive imagery. First to engage in an actual plot. Twist was appreciated.
Certain -- consciousness stream. Melding abstract and real.
Zen -- beauty in simplicity yet surprising complexity.

I don't think there was one bad entry.

If I had to rank:

1) dead man
2) Lars
3) trapezoidal

Geno 08-16-2017 11:02 AM

Dead man with 4
Certain with 3
MMLP with 2

ill givw thia til midnight to catch a few more votes. But since we have a tie breaker from a respected writer... If none come in by midnite. This will close out and DM gets the accomp.

Thanks everyone


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