Random 1
 

I spit an aadvark,
quick with the telepathy, pistol pumpin barbed wire,
mind metallic thinking i run, steal, i a die'n one,
feel like a curving surface furnished in the fires
of hell, wired to bells, so i can tell when the temperature rises.
Cellar door swelling like the decibal level inside ya,
sell a buyer to borrow time from,
or burrow, bide and burn the midnight lamp

lmfao. the beginning almost made me close this page/thread

but i kept reading and it actually started to rhyme and seem cool

wish it were longer. i don't like your breaks (,s) they seem off in places and make this read choppy

keep writing though. ending started to pick up. try a normal 16 lines next time instead of 5

1

Epic...




















Fail.

AARDVARKS ARE COOL

Is your caps lock broken again?

CAPS LOCK FOR COOL BRUH

A clever way to invoke Malcolm X. Clearly, by reading his autobiography and homing in on his illiteracy, you noticed that he picked up a dictionary and stated its first, glorious definition of...aardvark. An elephantine beast, clearly deranged and of more congo origin than its scipio-africanus harboring brethren with ivory tusks. It is clear that you harbor militant political images and are suicidal in nature, but the sublimation of this to your work is phenomenal. Overall a solid 8.454545/12

in my opinion, this isn't a bad Start so far, work on making your bars longer & be more Creative you'll be a better writer.

8/10

Ok now I think you're someone else...that comment didn't come from a spastic yo?...