SO THIS WEEKEND I ATE WEED COOKIES AND DRESSED UP LIKE AN ARMY ZOMBIE THEN DRANK ALL BEERS AND HAD INTERCOURSE WITH A 36 YR OLD WOMEN. AND I PUKED IN HER PURSE.
 

Hello friends.

Its scary outside, i think im going to limit my time spent irl. Drugs and sex are running rampant.

Bot yo!

Eating weed!?

Awesome.

Ajd i hate stupid weed.

But this shit was like a body high delivered from the future.

Sex was neat too.

I love the title of this.

Tell me more about you puking in her purse...

Well.....she was sitting on top.of me.....an i was dimension x high.....my body started to leave this realm....so i pushed her off me an.saod.....im gonna be sick

She saod....ok...well...hold on...

I saod no.now....im.gonna be sick now....

Then i leaned over the bed am grabbed her purse an puked my entire day into her coach bag....i kno it was coach becaise she bragged about it all nite....

She said....whatd u puke.into?.....i saod.....

Oh just sum trash bag layin over here


hahakenny rogers.....

I left early today.....wish i couodve been there to see her reach into it....ahhh

this thread is full of awesome

She will bathe in it when she gets home

girls are just obsessive like that

this story was great. i think i'm going to be social now.

so yea... space cakes -- that's that shit. always gives me a nice, manageable, mellow. i had pot hot chocolate one time, and idk what it was but the emesis about an hour afterward absolutely devastated me. the worst bout of vomiting i've ever had ever, forget excessive alcohol. idk if it was a bad batch or just made with the wrong part of the plant or something but i'm never doing that again. spare yourselves, also. you've been forewarned!

so yea, space cakes. they're cool, though.

My friend and I have this idea for dank grilled cheese

We would call our shop, the dank grilled cheese store

Pretty good weekend

feel the shame of your failure.

dlb can hold his liquor like a g

bp champ, sup

This weekend I watched zombies on amc, finished off an antibiotic, drank mad green tea and workerd a few days .... I know trill as shit

Nothing beats when I put 4 used rubbers in this bitches right high heel before the hotel creep out. Talk about a squish. lool I got some fucked up texts that day.

But yo, props on the night.. sounded fun.

Gone@thecondoms. That is filthy as fuck lmao.

this reminds me of my wild navy days. i never puked anywhere, but when i went home with a chick, i'd end up stealing "trophies."

remote controls, dvrs, bowls, wine glasses...just random shit i could get my hands on before bouncing out. hahaha, oh good times

I got some fucked up ass stories

I threw a 6 a bone after doming a fifth of Bacardi limon when I was like 19 .... We was in her parents basement, I beat it till it looked like an open roast beef sandwich, went raw diggity too but that liquor dick wouldn't let me cum ( hate that shit )... Told the bitch I had to pee she said she wanted to go upstairs to grab some drinks I went in the basement bathroom and painted the walls vomit green, talking exorcist shit, I went under the sink to look for cleaning supplies and just poured a whole bottle of Lysol on the floor ... Then I walked right out the bathroom and out the back basement door ... This bitch tried to chase me down on some " get back here and clean this up " shit ... I turned around and started throwing rocks at her until she gave up running ... Never saw that dirty bitch again but I'm sure she throws darts at a picture of me plotting revenge

Lmfqooo

Gone at painted the walls

I got wasted one night and blacked out, then woke up the next morning to find that I had thrown up in my (now Ex) girlfriend's purse. I didn't even remember it happening, but hey - fuck that bitch

Stfu faggot only thing here is a fail is u an ur unfunny trollin

I had this one decent looking older chick deliver food to my house and she knew me from the old neighborhood I lived in ... She said she was so and so's older sister I can't remember I was staring at her huge tits .. so I joked and said " well you have my cell number on that receipt hit me up " 11 o clock she called and asked me to come over she had some beer and shit so I get their she's in a bed clothes already smoking a bowl and I crack some brews and 50s get rich or die trying had just come out and she was listening to it. Convo turns to sex talk and she brags about how she can suck a good dick and my wit tells me to say prove it. I start dogging the bitch saying shit like I hope you pussy is better then this throat fuck and she gets all determined and starts gagging herself till she literally threw up. I got behind her pushed her face in the throw up a like puppy who just pissed on the floor and hit it doggy until I busted all in her mouth/face which half had throw up on it all dried and crusty . She wanted a kiss and I told the bitch she needed a toothbrush and shower first so she went to the bathroom to clean up asked me If I wanted to join I told her I needed to go to my car to get some extra clothes grabbed her 50 cent cd and the rest of the beer and bounced ... Got a phone call an hour later that I obviously didn't answer but the message said " hey while you out can you grab me a pack of Marlboro menthol lights " ... I never ordered food from that place again

I am not trolling. Just stating a fact Adrew Knight.

scumbag university all stars in this thread.

dirt people...dirt people everywhere.

Lol everytime u post u prove ur a unfunny faggot more an more
Ayo yahll he called me andrew knight ohhh shit u got me man
Andrew knight Damn wat a creative funny crillon lookin dude

It's very easy to be a scumbag on your late teens early 20's ...

I'm sorry do you not have any scumbag stories to tell? Were you always the perfect gentlemen? No one night stands to mention? Never did a female dirty?

I've woke up on a Sunday threw my work clothes on yelled at a girl in a panic that I'm late for work and dropped her off at the nearest bus stop just so I could go back home and sleep without some weird bitch I've spent more time penetrating then talking to trying to cuddle..

Way easier to act like a complete careless dick when you don't have many cares in the world... Make it to Friday, pay rent/cable/bge/car/insurance .. Get bent find strange repeat cycle ... That was an agenda from the ages of 19-23...

consider why you need to call people faggots all the time andrew.

Oh the irony.

Oh ok that explains it...my bad.

The lumineers go hard brah.

lmaoo cot damn out of all the fucked up shit i did to females this & that throwing rocks story beats me by far at my most scandalous. the most fucked up shit i did was havin this bitch fuck & suck me in an upstairs bathroom at a party we threw then when she tried to go to sleep in my bed i told her to do downstairs to get me a drink (party was over by that time) & locked my door..with her purse/phone/id/etc & shoes still in my room..which i kept cuz i was a fuckhead. needless to say she walked home barefoot at 5am & i made money. i saw her a while after that one night walkin round drunk & all she did was suck my dick on the sidewalk. ya. no puke or rocks were involved tho lol

They do.

Do you want me to post some hardkore stuff? You're weaker than me lolololooooollllllfnnfndndjdjnnnfnrjcivpsokfnf

Do it.

dead @ frank metts story

yo i lol'd at this irl

u the goat

DEEEEEEEEEEAAAADDDDDDEEEEEDDDD.

Their 100% true stories to ...


I have maybe a dozen more good ones... Then I started respecting women more and kind of fell off but I know their at least 15 women out their who hate me

post more plz

Lolol

make a thread filled with them and their pics so i know who is who

Pics ? God dude your Asking me to go back over a decade and stalk some chicks on fb or myspace just to steal a pic and post it ... How many one night stands have you had were you actually remember the girls full name let alone first name ... I can give you the nicknames ive made for these women

Here's one ... When to a house party in the city at my boy john wards house, just one of those nights where if you didn't get some strange you didn't deserve pussy... Anyone their this tiny little cute drunk girl stripping on the kitchen table and of course 12 guys around her just watching, egging her on ... This bitch takes off the ass floss and starts fucking herself with a pretzel rod, my boy jack started helping guide her hand we were all tripping like crazy ... This girl is called pretzel girl btw anyway later on that night she comes out to me out of the blue and says while I was doing that I was looking at you the whole time, of course my wit says something like I hope none of that salt got stuck on your dick trap because high blood pressure runs in my family, she laughs and I know I'll be getting the pretzels rods sloppy second tonight... She offers to take me home and I oblige of course... We ain't even make it in the car she starts doming me up by the passanger door, we finally get in the car and back to her apt and this bitch is Riding me in every direction possible reverse cowgirl from the side from the front an the Pussy is supringly tight as fuck ... After awhile she asks if something wrong and I told her ol liquor dick reared it's ugly head again but she is determined to make me cum so she says I can't leave her apt till I nut, I like the enthusiasm so I agree and the next morning before I could coyote ugly her ass she wakes me up with an amazing blow job, toes curled so far you would of thought Jon jones had another compound fracture... We fuck some more but I'm still semi drunk and tell her, she's like I have to go to work and tells me I'm not going anywhere she gave me money to order food and told me to make myself at home, this continued for 3 days, she even brought me home new clothes and shit ... The last night I stayed their she had to work early so we had a few drinks at her apt and watched a flick and then back to the fucking only this time she insisted I stick it in her ass, tried for a half hour but old toadstool woudnt slide in the warp zone pipe... She says we will continue this tomorrow but she has to get some sleep sooo we go to bed and she wakes up early to soak my darth vader helmet with spit takes a shower gives me a kiss and tells me she'll be back around 3 .. By now I'm fucking bored as fuck had no idea were I was and wanted to get the fuck outta buffalo Jill's apt ... But I'm a man of my word, I found her mail with the address on it called a taxi, used the money she gave me for pizza for the cab wrote a note and left in or her pillow that said... I never break a promise, please wash this pillow case because I stuck the note to it with the children I aborted from my own dick when you left for work ... Thanks for trying

Funny part is she shows up at my boy Ryan's house like 2 months later unannounced, my friends all knew the story and their jaws dropped when they saw her , I was upstairs with this other chick and my boy Ryan came running up like pretzel girls here and she's looking for you so I slide under the bed an watched the bitch walk in the room talking bout, where is frank? He promised hed call me, we had something special... Tell him he needs to call me right away, I'm just glad to know he's ok I thought something happened to him... I was trying my hardest not to laugh and l barely succeeded... This bitch left called my phone 35 times a day for the next 4 months and then I never heard from her again ... My friends still say pretzel girl to see if I'll hide in under a bed shits like saying Bloody Mary on a mirror or beetle juice 3 times to me .. That bitch was fuckin crazy