state your credentials
 

go

Credentialed for what?

I lost my top secret clearance when I did my time if that helps

Aus national pussy eater.
Honours:
- best squirt of 2012
- best tounge finger combo 2012

Best pair of comfortable grey socks.

Best winter beard of 2013

Best testicles.

Best sliding glass door opener/not running into it-er

I am the winner

Top secret sperm sniper. Girl get pregnant an never know wat hit em

- drinking award for mastery & excellence, 2012

- current gun reference multi world record holder

- long dick gorilla specialist 2008, 2011

- reigning & defending wall hole-punching champion

lol, who is that winner at life in ur avy

That's Cage.

Best at recognizing rappers.

- am the winner
- the winner is I

Best at shutting out Fig in Write Night championship battles.

doubt it

Fixed

mother would be proud

- #1 favorite son award, 1987-2013

- 25th inaugural balls of steel challenge winner

- northeast chicken wing champion, circa 2005

the hairiest ass

im not proud of it

I'm awaiting neigh to say 'weatherproof' lol

and @Fig I am no charlatan

Witchdoctor/shaman after clock out of MD for the day

- 33rd degree illuminati messiah wizard

- accomplished vagina sorcerer

- most consecutive references to samurai swords in an 8-hour period

WINTER BEARD CHAMP 2013 - 8 weeks to grow

http://i122.photobucket.com/albums/o...ps74c8ceff.jpg

is that applause I hear?
@oats

impressive

yes. it is.


here's how my beard feels about your beard



edit: idk how to embed a picture

Fuck me youve got the lumberjack beard going on! I kept mine tame, you've let yours go.

+10 Kudos

I have respect for all beards. yours is well kempt. respect

Netcees best hockey player, tennis player and golfer - All Time

Best natural tan without the use of artificial tanning methods - Summer 2013
(from all the golf and tennis)

Best sock tan - Summer 2013

Most words rhymed per open mic average 2011-2013

Worst sock tan - Summer 2013

Highest feedback per created thread ratio: Open Mic 2012-2013

Most relevant boarder with least amount of posts in discussion 2005-2013

Least amount of beefs - All Time

Most Consistent AIM Keystyle Cypher Winner 2006-2009, 2012-2013

Best Movember - Winter 2011, 2012

Voted Favorite Canadian Textcee 2008-2013

Modesty Award - 1993

I am the Psychedelic Prophet

Ayo how I know it's you? Ayo check my credentials
I eat yo' gun lead and shit out number two pencils
I ate a ton of dog shit ain't never got sick
Bitch I even know how many keys your man flip
I'm low down and dirty, but not ashamed
I know all these pussy ass cops by their first name
Smoked a pound of Purple Rain and kept control
Bitch I was the third nigga on the grassy knoll
And you askin me, how you know it's the Soopa
Open the door, I just blast on state troooperrrr!

@oats damn homie how did you put up with it ? ... @ 6-7 week I had the @Masaii but fucked up trimming the stache hair that was curling into my mouth so I just had to start over and trimmed it to a 2 ...

Respect the beard though .. always respect a good beard

I am obviously roast master general ...

Most torn acl's in netcees history ...

Most consecutive hours xfinity tv box has been stuck on the Disney jr channel ... please hold all tyson jokes till threads end

Bigger ears then pup, smaller nose then rawn ... bigger dick then neighbor and that's a double entendre ( except 2008 and 2011 but it was cold those days )

Stole more lawn equipment then rawn

Cut more grass then hush

- Top Ten All Time NC Troll

- Furry Hat Champion

- Has Posted Pictures Of Numerous, Date-Stamped, Usernamed Stacks

- Has Posted Pictures Of Him Holding 2 Keys In Weight

- NC's Bar Fight Champion

- Not Detour

Most Consistent Lush three years running

Freshest tape up 2005-2013
4x hurting bags feelings champion
Crispiest white v neck award winner
Fastest car on nc 09 till present
Called bags a faggot most consecitive times in nc history
Beat giant hand jones in a shadow boxing match

I HATE THAT when you fuck up one part of the trimming process and you have to waste an awesome beard. For the stache I use scissors, I use my index finger and push down on the mustache and trim along my lip line. I hate having the stache go over my lip its gross and my food gets in it when I eat.

dam I thought I had a nice pelt going...fuck.

ill see you in 2 months oats....ama throw Ferraris in my pours lol

we should have a winter beard tournament and i wasnt even going to grow one but i will

ok i just saw you duck dynasty motherfuckers pics. im out i would get fired from my job showing up like that

Gawd

he speaks....
 

when shit goes sour, I'm the first to know, being that I've been waiting for it

I know my way around a blade and the best puncture entries that inflict the most damage in the least amount of time

I just customized my own inner netting on the Go Lite Shangri La 5 complete with a full zipper and ultrasil nylon side panels. Did all the shit by hand!!!

I know how to make pizza on the trail, pretty damn good

when it rains it pours......right into my water collector

I've got my hands on shit that most civilians don't and the people that are qualified to have them don't either.

Gone@instant quaker oats being really bout that amish life