happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing i know
 

write sober, edit drunk;
yet why even distinguish between the two states of mind
when they combine?
purported sobriety is merely intoxication
with the oscillating false paradigm of reality
thus if three addicts see
each other simultaneously in the eye is it pineal?
it's real if you know yourself;
such is the law of solipsism
but knowing what it isn't
is not mutually exclusive to knowing what is, true.
i've got issues you can't picture, trust.
find scar tissue that i wish to cut.
in the windiest gust my sword-arm stiffens up
and i can't piss enough.
i'm lit. i'm love. i'm it, i'm drugs;
salvador's matador pushing the crimson lips apart
for art imitates life limitates heart in the indifferent
quasar of your strained insistent existence.
talk. i'll fain to listen.
feign fibbing angel inveigle whispers
but mere mellifluous honeyed words
coaxing your coquettish tongue
to twist 'til it's lost its flavour spun
around your cerebrum
waiting for occam's razor to undo the occult favour.
but you give yourself. you do.
every spent soul imbued
with self-loathing,
sense soaked in dew
from the previous evening's aqueous breathing.
i’m actually leaving: in your hands, take my whole life,
blow thrice for luck and throw dice
– i’m fucked... but i’m alright.
just tryna find a raison d’etre,
or reason to better… myself or simply reason! unfetter
the chains of thought and ease all the pressure
obsessed with constancy in transient, seasonal weather.
the air’s winter, my hair’s thinner,
stare mirrors out as crisp breath blasts
obscure intent glass.
yet i’ve a cold dram of oban
– word to an old man’s brandy
rubbing gums on another son
he wouldn’t love but his old hands did marry.
writing’s cathartic as cliche as night is to darkness.
my life’s in a harness: wife’s trying to harvest
a slice of what’s most ripe in my garden
but ardently i can’t let crackling carnal
energy discharge anywhere else when my eyes start to target
thus the primacy of lust must exhibit sovereignty
over my armoury’s lot - would i rather be unarmed?
probably not. honestly? i’m not honest. i’m not.
refuse to acknowledge a sneeze if my sinuses popped.
deceive myself with half-truths that i’ve tied into knots
weaving a cryptic triptych till the tripartite decides the time is to rot.
the only chime of the clock to adhere to
is your own defining tick-tock, here… right in this spot, yea
- and i’m bundling all mine into five-minute slots.
but i ain’t tryna sign right on the dot
with the same pen that wrote these letters.
i am the ebb and the flow together,
the cleft and the whole letting the world know
that you are a part of all that you have met,
all that you are yet to see.
just let it breathe.

Fuckin solid man. You have areally "mattar of fact" style of writing that i find unique to itself. Your shit flows but it doesnt. Idk. If i had to relate it with an artist. And i ate the person im gonna name but thats neither here nor there and take any offense to that. This is the onoy person atm i can think of whos audio reminds me of ur text when i read it.

But ya.. It reminds me of tyler the creator for some reason. The way he sounds is how i read your shit lmao. Anyway i thought this was dope. Pretty raw vocab and vicious syllable play. Good stuff

wow that sucks that u 8 the person u almost never named fucka idiyote

Gimmick doesn't get old to you?

@enj I'll reply to this I just had to ask.

shut up nyc

i'm not aero bb i just posted like him writing wise on facebook a couple times which caused u to think im him

lol

thanks, guys.

the flow of the last seven comments was entertaining.

aero - def not nyc

can confirm.

yeah this was def a solid piece, creativity off the charts! well done

This is raw compare to your other verses
There's dope vocabularies
When I read this blow my mind because them bars spectacular Keep doing ya thing!

one more time.

i won't up this again.

I know you're more of a live performance, spoken word type of writer, than you are a run-of-mill textcee. Thus, I can easily see how your rhythmic inners translate off the page and on to the stage. Some of the above is a little baffling and I'm still mediating on the third-eye part, but all in all, I dig it.

The word "solipsism" alone expressed everything you just said. But, I suppose that was kind of the point, huh? Anyway, existential themes are sort of my bread and butter, so now you have my full attention.

Facts.

You're flow is spotless and fluent and your shredded imagery is artfully rendered. The exact meaning over your content is ponderous, but in a fascinating way. I can probably decoded its nherent purpose, but I'll have to look closer than I am now in order to do so.

Soooo deceit and trickery perpetrated via divine intervention? Got it. However, is there an underlying metaphor beyond just that? I assume that there must be.
But. Hmmmm. Idk. In any case, I'm digging how you're bending the words and their syllables to your will. The vocabulary, although dense, adds an extra level of enjoyment to the read as well.

Slick transitional wordplay. I thought you were clever in the way you streamlined the water element into a functional component that fits well within the boubds of your concept.

Lol you define the words you're using while you're actually using them. Pretty cool.

Enjoyed this, perhaps a lil lengthy given it's rather dense material. Basically every bar invites to contemplation. Still, I found the untraditional phrasing quite refreshing.

Finally got to read this more thoroughly. The title alone is already quite intriguing, and I appreciate the layered, overarching themes and tone of a certain, almost tangible voidness and rumination here. At least that's how I read it to a certain degree. As Self already stated, your lines usually carry a fascinating level of depth beyond the mere metaphorical value. The direct language you employ aids in creating a balance between the lines. I also enjoyed the recurring 'anatomy' references, to put it bluntly. The pineal reference was highly original and interesting in that aspect as well. 'Sense soaked in dew' and 'writing's cathartic' were one of my favourite parts. There was a subtle equilibrium of very powerful moments, such as the 'i'm actually leaving: in your hands, take my whole life' segment and some more prosaic tendencies, like the 'refuse to acknowledge' segment towards the end, which ultimately created the feeling and reality of depth. Schemes were unconventional. I enjoyed this.

@ACTIVATE SELF thanks for the feed of late.
@Concrete it's long for me, too. i tend to write in shorter bursts.
@Alice appreciate your close reading.

i wrote this with a weird mix of florid and blunt - i'm not sure where i was at the time.

You've always been one of my favorite rhymers here, you know this...this was nice...vocabulary was good & your flow really kicks faces in where SELF quoted, I dug it man.

Stay dope my friend.

i think you stopped right where you begun to hit your flow state. it seemed that way to me at least.

your section on staying faithful to your woman was interestingly phrased, lots of cool visuals and self reflective processes going on here. airs winter / hairs thinner might have been my favorite little section. for some odd reason.

if 3 insane people speak with one another they are the baseline of sanity. as the old trope goes.

i'd like to revisit this and break it down a bit. i'm gonna sit with it for a while now.

thanks

Really good.

cheers ex, black and dancake.

Write more

@Pakistani Hand Cannon also said this

i haven't figured out why yet

love this. you one of my favs english

This was dope as fuck. Agree with you Inno, one of my favs on here as well.

writing’s cathartic as cliche as night is to darkness.
my life’s in a harness: wife’s trying to harvest
a slice of what’s most ripe in my garden
^This stuck out the most to me. Piece as a whole was solid but this right here hits you right in the gut with excellent penmanship to top it off.

In terms of rhyming but doesn't, I got a thought in terms of rhymeschemes as it seems to break up the flow here and there. Y'all are more experienced than me tho, so correct me if I'm wrong:

over my armoury’s lot - would i rather be unarmed?
probably not. honestly? i’m not honest. i’m not.
^But here, after "Honestly?" it starts with I'm instead of -ot word. Not that it has to, but since it continues from words like "armoury's", "Probably" and then another "-y" word comes along. Brains seem to get caught up in patterns and places like here the pattern is "broken", ye, it still rhymes and follows a certain but flow but during a read it breaks it up without meaning to do so. Even if you did mean to switch up the flow a bit the brain don't want that yet? Idk, just some thoughts, I might be wrong.

The syllabic pattern here is good but relies on nursery rhyme (or using a word twice despite being a very good place to do so):
or reason to better… myself or simply reason! unfetter
the chains of thought and ease all the pressure

Again, it rhymes but like earlier perhaps too many instances of not perfect rhymes makes the flow line up but the rhymes dwindle in effect here and there & vice versa with my earlier example, causing the effect of what white earl speaks about when he says "Your shit flows but it doesnt. Idk." It could very well be a style choice as well, I don't find much fault with it personally but thought I'd air my thoughts in case it'd bring some light to anything

thanx for the feedback bruddahs

i wrote this

Really solid man...
A true open mic / life lesson's observations/questions... and the depth/verbiage of & quality spoken word - BUT with all the good hip hop elements of rhyme and rhythm...

Yes... some spots better than others, and I don't have time to break down like Activate, but just wanted to make sure I don't miss this..

I know we have our moments of awkward/ defensive posts and boarding...and you keeping me in check when I talk too much smack... THAT being said I always thought your writtens were well done and I usually learned from some punctuation or spacing/ fancy wording...

Have a good rest of the weekend

thanks. i'm unaware of any problem we may have had, i'm just a bit of an acerbic person.

up again

up for a REAL WRITER REAL HUMAN

honeyed words
coaxing your coquettish tongue
to twist 'til it's lost its flavour spun
around your cerebrum
waiting for occam's razor to undo the occult favour.
but you give yourself. you do.

10/10 imo

mans outchyea weaving the cryptic triptych fr lol

i think you hide behind ambiguity at times, & i say that, appreciating you do have a deep vocabulary, & that its not necc a requisite that you tone it down, if the aim is self expression to the max, but i still think you do.

but its shit like this i fuck w from you the most probably. im not even sure if you mean it to be this weighty - but thats neither here nor there - how many are dishonest, but lack the honesty within themselves to see it? let alone state it explicitly, for themselves to see?...maybe just dont stop there though ayy?

"the speed at which we hide form ourselves.
to be honest, first be honest in the lies that you tell"

anyway...

facts. lmao


these are waves right here.

there's certain wording, expressions & imagery in this i didnt like, & for me subjectively, do harm an otherwise stellar verse - i expressed them to you in person im pretty sure - so i aint finna labour the point. but on the flip it does give it a more authentic/organic feel. which might be more important tbh.

love brodie.

It depends what level of intelligence. If you consider we may possibly be being energy harvested by something or the other happiness might just be the key.

true dat true dat hey sexy

Over the years

I’ve probably read this like five times or more. What’s cool about it is that every time I read it I pick up on stuff I didn’t process on previous reads. Maybe I’ve gotten more intelligent (ie less dumb)? Idk. But this piece still holds my attention. I’m not sure what it all adds up to but there are some really good pockets of writing that bind it all together. It’s a good mix of introspective jotting, superior mechanical display and vocabulary. Admittedly, I didn’t know a few of the words. And some I wouldn’t have known how to rhyme. That part is probably not true. But all in all, this was dope. If the sites still here next summer I’ll probably revisit and post a follow up.

“it's real if you know yourself;
such is the law of solipsism“

Makes me think, that maybe I’m just typing to myself.