Why Do I Write Topicals?
 

Dope as fuck shit Eth, glad to see you back, I noticed you were slumming it at RB recently... Felt like linking you here but glad to see you're home safe!

Cheers for reading it man. I'm gonna float about all the sites this time around instead of just picking one cause there's plenty of guys worth collabing with and shit so there's no point limiting myself to one place. You have instantly got NC in the lead of which domain I type in first considering you read this like 20 minutes (EDIT: 15 minutes) after I posted it where as I put it everywhere else first to no responses :D

I'll try and get at at least one of the OM drops today, probably two to enforce an unenforced 2 feedlink rule.

EDIT 2: Lmao at "dope as fuck shit EtH". I guess there's no bigger compliment then people thinking "Dope as fuck doesnt quite do it justice, I feel that at the very least one more swear word needs to be in there" haha.

You're Scottish. I'm English. I feel we at least have that volatile outburst in common!

Get the fuck out of my thread and take the 55% of wankers with you.

miss u 2

My background nationalities are scottish english and irish but i live in canada lol.

This was a nice read EmT, I'll give you some proper feed when I'm not writing two verses >.<

That was the main goal. Get a flow that everyone can follow. I was a little afraid that the start of the verses could have worked a little different to a lot of people but glad to here it worked out. Thanks mate, appreciate it.

Erebus?

smooth shit homie. like a laxative. classic. content wise you kept this on point and wrapped it up very nicely. The scheming was cool too, even allowing me to look past the fact that the verse is centered! Fag!

jk, but the beginning half is when your schemes were the tightest and most expertly crafted. Nice, enjoyable read. Id like to see more.

Erebus!

Next time ima change it to comic sans.

Holy fuckin shit it's been way too long brother how you been?
Lil yd btw lol

Where the hell have you been?

I went inactive for a long time because people kept trying to catch up with me every time I dropped an OM........


:D

Nah I've not really been around the rap site circuit in a bit now. Decided to get back into the swing of writing with this drop. Will be looking to try and collab with a lot of different writers over the next while.

You still have the most depressing life and stories ever?

Lmfao no I'm finally passed that shit! Gotta beautiful wife and 2 kids
I think barshotz took over the depressed role cuz last time I talked to him...2 or 3 years ago he was telling me to try crack an heroin cuz the high was better lmao

Is it the Bar Shotz I would know? The dude who made shit like this...
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/defa...?bandID=945674

Feed the verse above as well homogloben!

Yeah same dude, me you an him ran rrg way back in the day when I adminned you guys lol
An word let me get the kids lunch finished an I'll feed you next

@EtH get involved in the AOWL ish!

I dunno if I want to sign up to compete in anything since deadlines are usually the reason I lose interest in writing. If you need votes on anything send me a PM with links though.

YD, I completely forgot about RRG. I know you from loads of sites (actually, I still even know your current NC password, or at least I used to unless you changed it :D) and I know BAR SHOTZ from him being in basically the first real crew I ever joined way back in 2007. Forgot we all ran a site at one point though. Crazy how shit links up on these sites.

It's good...I mean it's not ME good...but it's good.

lol nah this was nice tho, good to see you posting.

the title grabbed me, and the writing propelled me to continue reading. content wise, it's obviously easy to connect with for most of us here, and many of the feelings resonate. at the same time, there's nothing new here. no interesting insight, no moment of impact. it lacked the mayo, so to speak, the zing that makes this different from any other good-not-great piece of writing. I'm not familiar with your previous body of work, but if I were to guess, I'd say this was a pretty light effort. not that there's anything wrong with that, sometimes it's just fun to write.

technically, it's well-crafted. it carves out a rhythm that's easy to follow and sticks inside those parameters neatly, which is no easy feat. basing this off of pure mechanics, you're clearly a capable rhyme-writer. here's the caveat:

something about this is very bland to me, to be honest. the writing itself is fine, but the cadence and structure of this was really basic. it probably sounds harsh, but this is the type of reason why I don't really enjoy topical writing anymore. it's super formulaic. it feels like you checked off all the boxes of what makes a good topical verse (which you did, by the way - this is very well-written), but it's just really forgettable for me. no real standout lines, no clever turns of phrase, no wording or descriptiveness that hinted at anything more than just the surface meaning. in a different light, I could see this being almost an homage to the rap fantasy type storytelling verses of the early 90s (think "Case of the Misplaced Mic"), but as it stands, this just doesn't do much for me.

sorry if this is overly critical, but you're good enough to deserve some honest critique instead of "yo this shit is dope." I'll say this: you have the ability to write well in this format, no question. enough so that I'll likely read future verses from you (I always haunt the OM, though I rarely leave feed). I hope that you'll take more creative licenses structurally and experiment more. take more risks, that sort of thing.

you should join the AOWL though.

Really appreciate it man and I agree with the majority of it. I really don't usually do "commentary" pieces which I'd describe this as. I'm usually more of an imagery/storyteller kind of guy. You're in a room, what do you see, feel, smell etc. I think I said over on RB that I'd be happy if people could enjoy this the whole way through (which they seem to) because I know someone has to work their ass off to get me to enjoy a "real talk" piece. I'm usually not too interested in what someone actually thinks or if their topical is coming straight from them. I prefer something new, a story we haven't heard before in a location that's been completely painted by the words you know?

So yeah I completely get your points and there's a chance I'd think the same from an outside view. You probably will see me doing whatever the complete opposite of this is in future and sacrificing rhyme schemes a lot of the time and never speaking from my perspective, and more from the perspective of a character I created. I was actually writing a few years ago for a topical finale and no showed cause I had "narrated" like 4 topicals in a row and couldn't stand the thought of giving an "overview" again.

With the amount I just posted you can obviously see I got a lot of the feedback :D This was intended to be a "shaking off the rust" piece but I'd be overselling myself if I said this was me being lyrically or wordingly (ironic) rusty.

lol don't trip man, hope I didn't come off as too much of a dick, probably more indicative of my current mood than anything else.

Why do you write?
Atleast you are being real with yourself

This was cool...content wise it was nice, would of liked you to be more complex scheme wise but that's just a minor niggle...thought for the most part flow was straight.

Idk why you write topicals & don't give a fuck tbh as I enjoyed the read.

Stay up wit it.