THE ROAST OF ULLR AKA BARON X OF RAP ROYALTY
 

After submitting his essay I had to enforce our policies and get more info on this newcomer

Here's how it went down

http://i.imgur.com/Em2PUfR.png
http://i.imgur.com/mTxNu0r.png

And here ladies and NCGs is Ullr.....


http://imagizer.imageshack.us/a/img540/1448/9aAE4w.jpg

I HAVE A BOARD MEETING WITH THE METTS BROTHERS TOMORROW

SLAYED

Lookin like troy mcclure got captured by isis forced to shave niggas pubes w a razor in his mouth an super glue on his chin then released.

Lookin like mick foley as a ring announcer.

This nigga went to Supercuts n asked for his beard styled "James Harden vs Edward Scissorhands Celebrity Death Match"

This nigga look like Knucklehead and Andre the Giant did a fusion dance

I'm dead bros

Lookin like his spirit animal is a sloth undergoing chemotherapy

Lookin like he skipped prom to fight the local wizard

The guy that fucked Veritas fat wife when he was a cuckold

Writes editorials for npr aabout organic tomatoes that never get oublished

The muzzles step brother, the fuzzle

THIS NIGGA DONALD TRUMPS , TRUMPS DONALD TRUMPS


I'M DONE

Forehead look like a game of snakes circa 99

oh pimp juice OOO U WANT A PUT YA FEET ON MA RUG , fine leather face lookin ass nigga

@muff is that a suit??

Ole renaissance fair fry cook lookin boy

Aesop rock after a 3 year meth bender

For hire road janitor

Legit look like cricket from its always sunny

At first I was like "Naw, this can't be real"... then I'm like "I still think I was right, I still think this can't be real". But I can't take that chance so...

This wigga lookin like ***tus Jack joined The Horsemen in the middle ages.

Lookin like he drinks Pabst Blue Ribbon with a crazy straw in an all goblin folk band.


Lookin like Elf on a Shelf as a Century 21 agent.


Beard lookin like Kathy Griffin's pussy.

Old Medieval Festival Beard ass nigga. Lookin like Detour had a twin bro that took a detour down the wrong fallopian.


Lookin like head toy maker elf at the north pole turned sex offender


Pedobear issued a BOLO on this nigga


System of a Down Syndrome


Lookin like he makes Nerf battle axes for LOTR cosplayers twice a year


Lookin like Sami Zayn from NXT with Ginger Sickle Cell

Lookin like tettris quit rap an became a sourthen Baptist preacher

Sells hand sewn gloves made from a combination of his cheek hair and Norwegian goat fur on Craigslist

Grows underground hydroponic herbs for his dyi alchemy kit line

Lookin like he eats Prairie Belt Vienna Sausages with gargoyles.

Went to barber shop, saw the list and went with: 1970's Funeral Home Assistant Director.

Lookin like Screech and the girl from the Wendy's logo did a mash-up.


This nigga got corn-rowed eyebrows and shit.


Lookin like She-Ra's court jester


lookin like he smells like Old Spice and shattered hopes.


looking like he plays Dungeons and Dragons with real dragons in a real dungeon

Lookin like he collected every Nintendo handheld ever made.

hair lookin like a tranquilized basket of baby chipmunks

lookin like he got cut from the Knight's Watch in Westerous and became a lube jockey at Littlefinger's brothel.

High School Annual his senior year named him: Most Likely to impale his heart with one of his own ribs while trying to give himself head thus ending his own life in an embarrassing manner.

Formed a Rush cover band called "Geddy Up" with 3 other kids from his Pokémon Battle League.

Climbs garden gates with grappling hooks he made out of shoestrings and boat motor parts.

looool

Isaac Ass-imov

Holy shit. Lol

Lookin like he sells life insurance to the wives of Saurons army

Plays banjo on the boardwalk for tips but only accepts bitcoins

Steals mobile home roofing in the dead of the night for blacksmithing projects

Made a remix of started from the bottom about building a castle in minecraft

Lookin like a Vietnam vet from a Call of Duty tournament.

Webmaster of a website devoted entirely to fan fiction porn between Lobot from Empire Strikes Back and Sam from iCarly.


lookin like an orange falcon teaching sunday school.

Saved up his allowance money to go to Gingercon and got an autograph from the kid that said "O'Doyle Rules".


Saves farts in mason jars in his freezer.

lookin like a background character in a made-for-tv movie about Steve Jobs founding Apple.

lookin like he bleached his chest with liquid plumber


lookin like he parted his eyebrows with a lice comb


He was once a failed backyard wrestler named Dreamcicle Danny

Reprograms Roombas to simulate war games with roaches.

fuckin gone.

this nigga look like jeepers creepers if he was condemned to stealing body parts from Chewbacca

Wow. Man.

Wow.


Boarding is on an upswing. Lol.

THIS NIGGA LOOK LIKE HE REALLY GOOD AT TEXT BATTLES

Yo why he gotta "ive never had a hard stool" face?

Papa smurf ass nigga

This shit look like the Caveman From gEicos congratulatpry photo after winning time trial tournament in Sega Genesis' Road Rage

Have I seen you sum where Jeevesy looking ass nigga

ole bootleg ginger shaggy ass wigga got them stunt double dragon wing on game of thrones ass eyebrows. damn.

Jonesy from Dreamcatcher spliced w/ Brendan Fraser from Encino Man

LMFAO

nailed it.

also, you on hollandaise?????

Lookin like he soaks his feet in pudding mix.

This nigga look like got 70 different allergies. Like he got a double barrel pump action inhaler with a charging station.

His goatee looks like Carrot Top's armpits

This nigga does stunt work in after school specials about pc viruses

Lookin like he got hawk wings for bangs

He stays selling leveled up World of Warcraft characters on ebay to pay for leveled up Diablo characters from other ebayers.

Lookin like he smokes potpourri from an ocarina

Saving cash to get a Celtic tribal tat on his taint meat.

OG in the trench coat mafia from Columbine, was out with chicken pox the day of the shooting.

ya boi failed his bachelors in barista school training only to go on to get a double major in gym sock fapping and dildo biking.

Dude looks like his real name is Ulrich Amiulusus, Baron of Rap Royals, Protector of the Web, First of His Name.

This nigga took a night course in witchcraft at the jc.

Paid for rent in his parents basement with duplicate stamps from his stamp collection.

Lookin like he snorkels in virginity whilst gargling self doubt.

This nigga bought a pet owl from a necromancer named Shashawn.

you look like a young Heisenberg on his way to the prom

You look like u sell buyers insurance at the local pawn shop

pokemon card game weekend warrior.

aspiring magician, only kind of knows 3 tricks

looks like my uncle micheal

Codename: Keith the Warlock

Beats his dick to the movie The Sandlot

Aspires to own a van one day for molestation on the go.

Lookin like Jim Henson with Korean War flashbacks

Uses sea urchin skeet for beard oil

Has a 22 year old body with a 56 year old head.