Muff Diggity v. The People
 

Hear ye, hear ye

All rise for the Honorable Judge

I'm aware there was been mass confusion and an increased sense of chaos around this trial. I apologize for any inconvenience. This is a very tense situation and my office and the NCPD have been working tirelessly to bring justice to our prideful nation.

The official arrest was on 42 counts of LLB, a misdemeanor offence. It was all we could do with the evidence at the time of arrest. After countless hours of paperwork, our greatest minds in the DA's office have brought new evidence to put this vile beast locked away for good. His rampage of nega-lulz and freeposting must be ended.

The charges are,

- The original 42 counts of LLB; all class B misdemeanors

- 18 counts of withholding evidence of faggotry, for denying the People substantial photographic proof; all class D felonies

- 1 count of Steve Harvey muffstache; a class A felony

- 1 count of poorly impersonating a disabled txtcee, specifically article 7: Chubby Flores-ing; a class B felony

- 1 count of aggravated txtsault while under the influence, on one Murder Show while intoxicated on a deadly cocktail widely referred to in urban areas as "Sleep Walker", a combination of Johnny Walker and Ambien; a class C felony

The People will start bringing witnesses to the stand

- The Honorable Judge

The People would like to bring character witness @Diode to the stand

Honorable chesterworth, co-honor guy bb jduge bb here i would like to stand in as a witness as well if the court would allow it

gone

I have evidence I would like to submit if the court will allow it.

I'll allow it

With the absence of Diode, we bring Pancake Brother to the stand

Sharkton & Williamsburg, LLC is officially putting in a not guilty plea

This is clearly a common case of racial userprofiling

*takes stand*

*pancake sister crying*

Honorable Judge Chesterworth, ladies and gentlemen of the court, I come to you today with evidence of low level boarding, faggotry, and uncomfortable messaging done by the defendant today, Muff. Also known as Attack of the Muff, Father Muff, Crustachio, and Pubic Enema.

As a respected, and may I remind you storied, member of this fine country of Nessy's I don't repost private messages lightly. Our PM is system is sacred; a system where Destroyer and Bags can write their love doodles in peace, where Diode can send himself google results to remember later, and where we all can laugh at Muzzle when it gets boring publicly. But I must, I repeat must, bring to light this startling faggotry to light, Nessy's PM code be damned.

I ASK THE COURT TO VIEW EVIDENCE A OF OVERFAGGOTRY

*FLIPS OVER WHITE SHEET ON EASEL*

*SMACKS POINTER FINGER AT MESSAGE*

http://i.imgur.com/9Io82hb.png

*crowd gasps*

*muzzle faints*

*waits for crowd to settle down, paces court room*

Yes, your honor. This is a private message from one grown man to another with the title saying "read but don't respond". THIS OCCURRED ON THE NIGHT WHERE MUFF CAME TO THINK OF MY AS SOME GOD FOR MY OBSERVATIONS. ALL I DID WAS MAKE A COUPLE OF OBSERVATIONS FOR FUCKS SAKE WHAT IN THE LIVING FUCK IS WRONG WITH HIM!? I NEVER RESPONDED TO HIS DOZENS (DOZENS) OF POSTS MENTIONING ME BECAUSE I HAVE A GOD DAMNED SENSE OF FUCKING DECORUM AND REALIZE THIS IS THE INTERNET. I PROPOSE NEW ALLEGATIONS OF STALKING.

I must admit to all of you, from the second I read this message my boarding hasn't been the same. I haven't slept in days, thinking Muff has a not-so-secret attraction for me. I worry for my family. For the love of God, put this man away for life.

The defense would like to rebuttal to this new evidence by bringing a witness from the scene to the stand..
@Oil Rig Rubert

I have evidence to present to this humbling court, although I'm not sure as to what affect it may have

hello everyone

i was there on the night in question

after a long day of hard labor on the ship, muffles (as i like to call him) and I went to the barracks. he was tired, eyes low and sweat dripping off of his bushie eyebrows. I wiped the moisture off of his brim and patted him on the bak for a great days work. he smiled, and I saw a twinkle in his eyes that stopped my heart

we then layed together

fk it was magical

he was in an xtrmely emotional state and should not be nailed to the boards of hatrd

IT ISNT FAGGOTRY, IT IS LOVE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlVBg7_08n0

Thank you your honor. I would like to take this opportunity to take stand. Many people in this country know me as bb da bb. Mustachio. bbichio. Or just plain bb. But, lately, I've been known as nothing. NOTHING. One night a few nights ago, I was responding to another user known for high severity faggotry (NYCSpitz). The accussed, Muffington, crustachio, was wishing him a happy birthday.

I was surprised the thread of the title wasnt "read but don't respond"


I gunned for nyc and muff comes in there full guns blazing, attacking bb.

I felt attacked. And I gunned him back.

I exposed him your honor. I- I almost killed him that night, I admit.

*breaking out in tears*

I FUCKING HAD TO, YOUR HONOR, THERE WAS NO OTHER WAY. THAT LED TO A SPIRALING OF FAGGOTRY BEYOND THE REGULAR PLANE OF FAGGOTRY, IVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT.

While I was hoarding off the faggotry with my anti-repellant faggot lasers. People noticed the heroic thing I was doing. I was abstaining from faggotry with the highest level faggot there is.

They saw something in me your honor. I became a silent hero that day.

Soon, POLICE CHIEF @Bags came in to help me and the cause. He saw the extreme faggotry and called in reinforcements.

By that time, muff thought this was because he was godly and suffered from common "everybody's against me cause IM RIGHT DAMNIT, IM THE BEST, THESE GUYS ARE PEASANTS" syndrome. The very thing veritas suffers from, and many before him. It was horrible. Then @PancakeBrah chimed in with the reason of voice as our supreme negotiator. He is very well equipped in the field of negotiating and we had to go get through this stand-off with muff the faggot monster. His words spoke fluent, copious affluent bloom of copious something in dull boy's sig. It was graceful. Muffs monster faggot ass broke down, and started crying. As you can see in the picture below, full faggotry display after numerous subversive attacks on me, as you can see he even posted on my VISITOR WALL, which my system didnt even register, because you have to have a certain NON FAGGOT level for me to see your posts.


I would like to submit a picture your honor, for the court to see.

In here you can see the co-signing Knucklehead also attempting to thwart the god that is BB. Also, I'd like to submit a prosecution for the court; Knucklehead in aiding faggotry, in which he actually boosted muff's reputation allowing the monster faggot to neg other people, and on occasion would help muff continue his faggotry by abusing his mod powers because he is also a faggot. Your honor, chesterworth. I believe this is an offence as well, and because he is an administrator of our land he shouldnt be above the law. I demand justice.


This is the picture of the accused.

http://i.imgur.com/FXmKVAm.png

You can see here that he is in full-faggot mode. Thinking he is a god, and calling me a midget. When clearly he broke down from a slight observation. He even said he had 'friends' at one point.

Your honor, that is all.

So now we post pms

Ok

Later

gone @ 'fk' it was magical

I think you're missing the forest for the trees, "Judge". *laughs to himself* Judge. What are you judging? Some facts and figures, numbers and binary code that wouldn't amount to a lark in the grand scheme of things. *pops tab on a PBR*. You're all just playing your roles, playing your roles to a tee. This is what you thought you would be when you woke up today. You're doing it. Everything's in it's right place. What's the judgement today? Let me read it in the paper *pops open newspaper*. Oh. Pardon me, this is just chaos. And you're the arbiter of all this? Okay. *pops tab on second PBR* Well, Judge, lets see what you decided to be today *chuckles*.

Let me interrogate the subject. I'll get more done in five minutes than this high school play act'll get done in weeks.

@big baby

I did not boost his rep, but would like to know who did.

THESE PROCEEDINGS ARE OF NO CONCERN TO US! EARTH WILL BE RULED BY THE DALEKS!!

YOU WILL ALL BE EXTERMINATED!

Can i rep every1 in thread at once?

I am fucking dead


Also....i didnt respond wen u sent me that pm.....cuz i thought u titled it read but dont respond.....towards me....looooooool.


Popcorn on stand by.


HANG THIS NIGGER D3AD!!!

EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!!!

I suggest you all youtube brian nichols courtroom massacre

That is all

Later guys

Your honor.....


Whenever you are ready for my testimony.......

NCPD Sergeant @Bags

Proceed

lol'ed

Lol

*spits a small toothpick shaped object into his shackled hands*

Muff;

You saying you were going to leave when I posted that PM then posting two more messages is exactly why people are clowning you.

PM me for details.

Youll just copy n paste a private msg cake

Id rather not

Anyway s

Please proceed

Wheres my lawyer. This isnt Guantanamo

This case is nothing compared to how I single handedly orchestrated warthog gate.

Veritas. You had nothing to do with warthogate

lmaoooo A+ thread

More Evidence:

http://i.imgur.com/lHzQxto.png

Here Muff is going into detail about how him and his cockwrangling crew played socom in their basements. He's seems to be pushing onto me how kids adored him (not sure why) and that he even had some local fame as well, further bigging up his already inflated ego.

ie; "kids use to be all on the nuts"

Motion to also charge Muff with possible Predator acts, if the court would grant that.

Lol ok that was unexpected.

Yeah that's nothing. I invented veritas and warthog gate.

So now everyone posts my pms itt

Any more ppl?

Lol I got sumthin for u guys u jusw8

U were just tlking to me about the same shit

So u post my novel?

Wow. Stepto wants recognition itt

Quite sad

Just wait

THIS IS NOT A REAL COURT. STOP TRYING TO MAKE THE INTERNET YOUR HOME. LOG OFF. LOG OFF.

Nigga, I said I use to play doubles on COD. that was it, I didn't talk about kids loving me and getting local recognition and being an overall badass at a old af game.

Thank you for hearing me

Ahem

If i may


THIS FAGOT MUFFS A FUCKIMG LOSER YO. I MEAN JESUS CHRIST. HEY EVERYBODY IM MUFF. FK W8 GUIAS LUK IM IN ARABIA AND FACEBOOK OS BLOCKED BECAUSE OUR SUBMARINE WILL LOSER POWER IF WIFI ACCESS IS USED FOR SOCIAL MEDIA. ACCEPT NC. APPARENTLY OUR ENGINES CAN TAKE A FUCKING TETRA BYTE OF DATA USAGE RELATIVE TO TEXT BATTLING. OH U FUCKA MAK FUN OF ME !?!? NC ILLUMINATI MELTED MY MIND NOW I FUCKA TYPE LIKE IDIYOTE BIG BABY AND CALVARY. U GUYS CALVES HAVE M16S. LEG ARMY. DOES EVERY1 REMEMBER WHEN ULTRAGUNNA WAS MODDING FGR AN I BATTOED CALEFACTION FOR THE WELTER WEIGHT INTERNET BELT AN I MADE HIM ACTUALLY DIE. AFTER THE VOTING WAS OVER HE DIED. IT WAS IN THE OBITUARY. FK IM GUD.HEY EVERY1 IS THIS AN ALIAS TOURNEY? OK...IM PUBLIC ENEMA ...DID I WIN!?!? FUCK U NIGGER MUFF UNFUCKING DELUSIONAL PIECE OF SHIT. FUCKIN GIVIN THE PERISCOPE HAND JOBS AN PMING PANCAKE ABOUT HOW HE OPENED UR SOULS CHAKRA WITH A FORTUNE COOKIE LIMERICK. BITCHMADENFAGIT. HEY EVERY 1 IM 6 FOOT 7 AN WEIGH 240. FAGIT NIGGER UR HEAD WEIGHS 240. MUFF GOES ON AN E DATE WITH PANCAKE. PANCAKE NOT AWARE. MUFF DRINKS SHOE POLISH AND EATS HALF A BOX OF BENADRYL. MURDA SHO ONLYNPERSON WHO DOESNT THINK MUFF IS A LAME FAGJT. AFTER MUFFS WILD NITE ON THE BOARD....MURDA SHO QUESTIONS WHY HE EVER CAME BACK. HEY MURDA SHO CALL OUT PIC BATTKE! FK U SO GUD U GON BE THE 17TH PERSON TO FUCKA BATTLE SAMENPKC IDIYOTE I FK HATE U. MUFF SEES DR. NORMAL DR CANNOT DIAGNOSE MUFF. NEGGORY HOUSE IS CALLED IN TO DIAGNOSE. DIAGNOSIS CONFIRMED. NEGGED YOU FUCKIMG FAGIT. U SOCIALLY REGRESSED OATMEAL BRED SPOOK. STUPID MUFF. FUCKIN BEVERLY SQUIDBILLY. DRILLING FOR FUCKING VEGETABLE OIL. FUCKING NIGGER. WATCHING FREE WILLY. CANT UNDERSTAND HOW WILLIES TANK CAN HOLD ALL THAT WATSR WITHOJT DISRUPTING THE ARENAS WIFI CONNECTIVITY ACCESS TO FACEBOOK. HEART STOPS BEATING. TOOTSIE ROLL MUSTACHE. IS ON THE PILL. LOGS INTO NC...6 MONTHS AGO. SLEEPS ON WATERBED....ON SUBMARINE. LOL. GOES TO SUBWAY IN SUBMARINE. ORDERS SUBMARINE SANDWHICH. LOL. SANDWHICH IS A DICK. MUFF TELLS JOKE...REFERENCES HAYABUSA 19 AND KABUKIE TRAILS....CONFUSED AS TO WHY NO1 GETS REFERENCE. CONFUSED WHY HE IS BROWN. CONFUSED WHY EISENHOWER. VOTED FOR NADER. FK FK FK FK FK. HEY I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THIS THREAD....BUT CAN U EXPLAIN IT TK ME? AM THEN WE CAN TALK MORE? APPROACH TO ALL THREADS EVER. FUCK U MUFF STFU U FUCKING GOOFBALL. STOP FUCKING COMING HERE U FGIT. UR GARBAGE. UR WACK AT EVERUTHING. UR LAME AS FUCK. FUCK U FSGIT.


now....

Im not a fancy attorney or anything....but these are the facts as i know them to be.

thanks for your time.

*yawn*

I yawned because he basically stole bbs gimmick n failed at it

N it was reaaaly long

But ok?

Ur going overboard no pun intended

Dude order in court

Focus

Im not hrre to retort.

Im on trial

Pardon me for yawning mr judge guy sir

But im tired jyst want to get bsck to cell n beat off

I will speak for Muff in order to make this fair. Agreed?