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-   -   Man with Uzi vs Tiger , who would win (http://netcees.org/showthread.php?t=14739)

Mike Wrecka 09-01-2013 08:28 AM

Man with Uzi vs Tiger , who would win
 
your in a thirty by thirty foot enclosure with a Tiger that is hungry and ferocious and intent on killing you in an instant.

you have a fully loaded uzi

who comes out alive ?

Certain 09-01-2013 08:31 AM

From one of my favorite magazine stories ever, about the crazy Zanesville Zoo story:

Quote:

The tiger jumped, straight up and out. That's what separated the tigers: It was the ground they could cover, even after they had been shot dozens of times. "They thrashed," Lawhorne says, searching for the right words. "They somersaulted." The other animals, even the lions, went down when they were shot; the tigers went up. Bullets turned them into birds. They flew.
Full story: http://www.esquire.com/features/zanesville-0312

Tigers are some bad motherfuckers. If it got on you too quickly, it might be able to take you out even if you hit it first. In that case, you'd both be dead.

2tripple0 09-01-2013 08:35 AM

yeah they're also on the endangered list and hunted like mothafuckas good luck with ya tiger friend tho ey

Witty 09-01-2013 08:36 AM

Did you know there are more tigers kept as pets in America than there are wild tigers in all of India?

Sn00p 09-01-2013 08:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Certain Serpent (Post 138657)
From one of my favorite magazine stories ever, about the crazy Zanesville Zoo story:



Full story: http://www.esquire.com/features/zanesville-0312

Tigers are some bad motherfuckers. If it got on you too quickly, it might be able to take you out even if you hit it first. In that case, you'd both be dead.

this is the problem with animals. they don't give a FUCK if they get hit. they'll still rape the fuck outta u. there's similar stories with monkeys for example. u can hit 'em all u want, they don't CARE. that's why i'd say the human can't come out unharmed in the scenario mike outlined. but then again, i don't think the tiger would be unharmed either. so a double death seems likely. at least major injuries on both sides when only one dies.

2tripple0 09-01-2013 08:42 AM

that aint true brother if you hit like a baby seal the mutha seal is gonna fuckin protect its young ones it would probably kill itself in an attempt to save its family

Rawn M.D. 09-01-2013 08:45 AM

id say both die

but if that tiger close ud die first

Plot 09-01-2013 09:05 AM

Fire to the face, hit the brain. Think quick be precise man wins

2tripple0 09-01-2013 09:07 AM

dont know mate think about it if man had like a elephant gun dont know mate snds like tiger dead on arrival truth be told

God Of War 09-01-2013 09:45 AM

drop the uzi and fist fight the fucking tiger BE A MAN

Rawn M.D. 09-01-2013 09:45 AM

Rudyard Kipling

Geno 09-01-2013 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by God Of War (Post 138729)
drop the uzi and fist fight the fucking tiger BE A MAN

My thoughts precisely. Ftw

Diode 09-01-2013 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plot (Post 138673)
Fire to the face, hit the brain. Think quick be precise man wins

be precise with an uzi?

ever shot an uzi?

lol

Certain 09-01-2013 10:34 AM

Another thing in this is tigers can jump 30 feet. He wouldn't need to get much of a running start.

uh-oh 09-01-2013 01:03 PM

give me an uzi and i'll give you a tiger pelt

Mike Wrecka 09-01-2013 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by uh-oh (Post 138957)
give me an uzi and i'll give you a tiger pelt

unless you shoot it in the head, throat or heart it will get to you and rip your throat out with one swipe imo

uh-oh 09-01-2013 01:23 PM

how many shots does an uzi have? aim at the ground in front of it and unload

30 by 30 to a tiger is nothing. he'd cross it in an instant

but if i have a fair chance to spray and pray i like my chances

tigers aint gonna run through bullets, its gonna get hit and re evaluate every choice its made in its life

Certain 09-01-2013 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by uh-oh (Post 138971)
how many shots does an uzi have? aim at the ground in front of it and unload

30 by 30 to a tiger is nothing. he'd cross it in an instant

but if i have a fair chance to spray and pray i like my chances

tigers aint gonna run through bullets, its gonna get hit and re evaluate every choice its made in its life

That's literally exactly what it will do. These things don't stop when they get hit. That story I posted earlier in this thread was about hunting them with elephant tranquilizers, which are far more effective than uzi bullets. Your only real chance is to get it in the eye or some other hole in the skull for a direct brain hit. Even then, there's a good chance it will die mid-leap and land on you.

Rawn M.D. 09-01-2013 01:47 PM

yea unless u on some Moglie sht ur pretty much done for if u in same enclosure and that sht wants to attack

Certain 09-01-2013 01:50 PM

Your best hope might be to curl up, play dead and pray the tiger isn't hungry


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